Hi all - I’m reaching out because I need help accessing a partial hospitalization program for an ED, major depressive disorder/SI, and OCD that I can’t afford on my own. I’ve waited far too long to wave the white flag—long after the red ones were practically screaming. I kept telling myself, “It’s bad, but I need to prove I can do this on my own.” Spoiler alert: I can’t. And I wish I hadn’t waited.

This Outpatient Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) offers intensive support without requiring inpatient hospitalization. I can keep working and take care of Tazz while being provided structure, therapy, psychiatric care, and a path toward recovery—but it comes at a cost that I simply cannot manage alone. Insurance is not covering the full amount, and the financial burden is overwhelming.

I’ve been living in survival mode for far too long.

I’ve tried to manage my symptoms alone, but they are too far out of my control. I don’t want to keep pretending I’m okay when I’m not. I want to fight for my life—and this program gives me the tools to do that.

You don’t need to “earn” support by suffering longer. You just need to notice you’re not okay—and that’s enough. Or in my case, knowing I wasn’t okay wasn’t enough. With a severe deficiency in self-worth, I don’t think I deserve to heal. I’ve done things to myself that may have done irreversible damage, physically and emotionally.

I know everyone is going through something right now, and asking for help isn’t easy—but I can’t do this alone. If you can contribute anything at all, I would be endlessly grateful. If you can’t donate, please consider sharing this with others who might be able to help.

Every dollar raised goes directly to my treatment and recovery. This isn’t just about covering medical bills—it’s about giving me a fighting chance to heal, grow, and stay here.

Thank you for reading, thank you for caring, and thank you for helping me choose life.

It’s scary. It’s hopeful. It’s necessary

With All My Heart,

Nic