Continue IVF for a rainbow baby after stillbirth

Hi, my name is Nicola and my partner's name is Darren, we have set up this gofundme in the hope to help raise funds towards the costs for further fertility treatment. we have not taken this decision lightly as the below shares very personal and emotional trauma we have suffered and continue to suffer, but we feel now is the time to ask for help as our journey spans over 10 years.

After meeting as teenagers we decided to start trying for a family in our late twenties, like everyone we thought it would happen naturally for us but a few years down the line that was not to be and so the battle began we sort medical help. Due to male factor issues, we were referred to the NHS fertility services in 2017 after many tests we started our first NHS-funded cycle in late 2018, I had injected the medication for two weeks to shut down my ovaries, I attended a scan to check the progress before starting the next set of hormone medication, at this scan a huge mass was discovered in my uterus which was a concern, sadly that IVF cycle had to be cancelled and I was referred back to gynaecology for tests, after many months of tests and waiting 11 months I finally had laparoscopic surgery to remove the mass which was discovered to be a 10cm blood filled cyst coming off my ovary, I was then diagnosed with the condition Endometriosis. Which would be a causing factor for infertility we had suffered. We were given a 1% chance of conceiving naturally with both our conditions. In early 2020 we were able to start another cycle of IVF I had my egg collection on 20th march 2020 I was a poor responder due to the prior surgery with only 3 eggs but we were lucky to create one embryo. At this time coronavirus had hit the UK and was spreading fast, and the lockdown was just days away, I would have been having my embryo transferred on that Monday 23rd march in just 3 days which was when the UK went into lockdown so unfortunately the clinic had to close and so our one embryo was frozen. In September 2020 we were able to have our frozen embryo transferred so I started the medication for 3 weeks then attended the clinic to be told our one embryo had failed the thawing process and died. We were absolutely devasted after so much waiting we could not believe that the 5% chance of this happening actually happened to us.

In January 2021 we started our 2nd round of ICSI, the numbers were much better we had 6 eggs collected, 5 fertilised with 2 making it to day 5 blastocysts. We had one top-quality fresh embryo transferred and one frozen. After years of TTC, tests, so much treatment, waiting, the pandemic, the lockdowns, the worry, the heartache etc, we finally had a positive pregnancy test our first-ever pregnancy, we were over the moon.

We cherished every day of the pregnancy, Darren had a nickname "pebble", because the photo of the embryo looked just like that, our perfect pebble. We had a straightforward, happy and healthy pregnancy, we chatted, we sang to our baby, we had nerves, we had hope, and we had already fallen in love with our daughter, imagining our life together as three, after wanting to be parents for so long it was finally happening we were the happiest we had ever been.

But tragically at 34 weeks pregnant the unimaginable happened, we heard those dreaded words “I am sorry there is no heartbeat” we had attended the midwife appointment just the day before and were assured all was well. I had suffered a complete Placental abruption, bought on by severe onset preeclampsia. No warning signs until it was too late. We were in shock, devastated, numb, how can this even happen to our precious baby girl, not us, not after all we had been through to get pregnant with it being 1 in 100 pregnancies this can happen to so 1% and it happened to us.

This was and still is a nightmare that we cannot awake from. Our beautiful baby daughter Jorgie-May was born sleeping 3 lb15 oz on the 18th of September 2021 via emergency C-section due to severe blood loss, I nearly lost my life as Darren sat and witnessed everything going on. We cherished the days spent with Jorgie-May in the hospital, we made memories, we read her first story, we changed her, and cuddled and kissed her soft skin, she was perfect. We were parents but not how we ever imagined it to be, no parent should ever have to bury their child. Our love for Jorgie-May lives on and we will keep her memory alive.

It has been physically, mentally and emotionally all-consuming as we struggle and will continue to battle on with loss, grief and further fertility treatment in the hope of having our rainbow baby, although another child can never replace our daughter, the thought of having another child gives us something to carry on for, it gives us a chance to hope to raise a child of our own.

In June 2022 we had the last embryo from cycle 2 transferred, this one did not work and this was all of our NHS funding used up which we are truly grateful to have been given. We decided to continue and go self-funded using up all of what we had which was including help from family which also included contributions to costs for our daughter's headstone. so we feel we have used up all their generosity. we also do not have savings with Darren being physically disabled and me being his full-time carer we cannot afford to fund further treatment alone.

In October 2022 we began ICSI cycle number 3, we had good numbers,

8 eggs were collected, 2 5 day embryos made it, again another issue cropped up so they had to be frozen. In January 2023 we did the frozen embryo transfer in which our hopes were extremely high, I convinced myself that I was pregnant again, the cruelty that is the side effects of all the hormone medication along with my mind playing tricks on me and the pure desperation for this to work, after the two weeks wait, 3 negative pregnancy tests bought us back down to reality.

We need to raise funds to be able to continue with our journey for our rainbow baby, our only way to conceive is with medical intervention. I Nicola am 38 years old and so time is not on my side regarding fertility, we hope to raise anything we can to keep our hope alive. We are not ready to give up on IVF, our consultants have said we have a high chance as it has worked before.

If you have gotten this far we thank you so much for taking the time to read our very long story, We appreciate it and any help that you can give.

Many thanks

Nicola, Darren & Angel Jorgie-May