Hi, My name is Aeb(afraid to share my preferred irl name to avoid my parents finding this and over reacting).

I'm a 22 year old trans-masculine male(not yet changed on ID), I suffer from severe debilitating anxiety, depression, potential medical photophobia, autism and undiagnosed adhd, low fiber and overall loss of strength in my body.

I constantly go through an identity crisis, and dissociate a lot

I grew up and still live in a household that isn't really healthy and got my severe anxiety to where it is today, As far as I can remember; I started having minor anxiety attacks before 4th or 5th grade.

I was never really good at making friends in my area and even got bullied by several other children my age, I could really only turn towards trusted teachers for comfort and company, even having lunch with them instead of with other kids during my school years.

I grew up doing art as a hobby but also as an obsessive escape from reality, thinking back on it, the joy I had in making art slowly dwindled over time while I grew up, as it was also used as a way to seek validation at something I did on my own.

My mother was mentally and emotionally sick when she had me and my older brother, so we ended up growing with getting yelled at or hit due to her explosive anger and insults. It started to slowly fade away when my 2 younger siblings were born, but the physical abuse lasted all the way up until my 2nd to last year of high school.

Unfortunately, verbal abuse is still active within my household and the trauma did end up affecting my older brother(whom I've had terrible arguments with in the past, to the point my lil brother had to step in to keep my older brother from physically giving into his intrusive yet explosive, angry tendencies.)

My older brother and I don't really try speaking to each other as much anymore, even though we still live in the same household with our parents and siblings.

As of the recent years, despite the verbal abuse from my own parents and their...toxic behaviors, they still try to help with taking me to see doctors and trying to help me get back to full health.

My overall health mostly collapsed after high school, anxiety so severe that it's hard to eat solid and liquid food without my body behaving as if I can't breathe or if I'm choking.

I'm mainly opening up this gofundme due to my father having lost his job, and my mother being the only one with a job(but her boss taking away some pay), so they're struggling to buy some things for my needs that's outside of my medical insurance.

They're trying hard to juggle to pay for rent, bills, along with trying to find a new home if the landlord potentially sells the 2 story complex within the next few months.

Before my overall health declined, I wanted to try to get a job until I couldn't due to my weakened state. Then I wanted to try to do art commissions despite already being overwhelmed with medications, anxiety, depression and doctor appointments, as well as frequent arguments with my parents; as well as my love for making art having been replaced with it feeling like a tiresome chore that I can't bring myself to enjoy as of many years.

I'm hoping that in some case, that with this; I'll be able to try to help myself as well as others.

And eventually get around to maybe living with a long time online friend to get a break from my family, and maybe them getting a break from me in some way.

Anyways, I appreciate whatever you all could give and I hope you have an amazing life.

When you make a choice, make sure it's one you won't regret!