Main fundraiser photo

Climbing for a Cause: Learning how to THRIVE

Donation protected
Climbing is an ancient ritual. Long before mountaineering became a popular pastime, humans faced the daunting task of climbing the mountains of life.  These mountains, past and present, come in many forms: disease, divorce, death, addiction, homelessness, inequality, anxiety, and depression, just to name a few. The sheer enormity of these mountains alone makes them seem impossible to traverse and we often become paralyzed and stuck. However, I emphatically believe nothing has devastated my life more than the mountain of shame. This is why I climb, to conquer my shame.

Hi, my name is Chris. In my 40+ years of life, I cannot remember a time when shame was not a thorn in my flesh.  Its powerful and insidious influence attacked every aspect of my being—my mind, my body, and my soul.  Shame’s deception convinced me that I was not worthy, would never be good enough, and that radical hopes and dreams were always too far out of reach. “You can’t.” “Don’t try.” “Give up now.”  “You’re going to fail.” These toxic mantras kept me stuck in survival mode and prevented my thriving. 

However, in January of 2012, I began a life-changing journey to finally reclaim my life and face my mountain. Early on, I realized I could not climb this mountain alone, nor did I want to.  Along the way, there have been guides who encouraged , equipped , and empowered  me to climb, keep climbing, and finally reach a summit where thriving was possible. While I’m deeply grateful for them all, I’m absolutely confident my life would not be the same were it not for one of those guides, my cousin Doug.

For most of my life, one of the primary areas where I felt the most shame has been my body. I don’t have a working memory of the specifics, but a story has often been told in my family that after our vacation to Disney World when I was 6, I ate something that "magically" made me put on weight. I hate that narrative and have often wished we never made that ill-fated trip to Orlando.  To my knowledge, my heaviest recorded weight is 243 pounds.  Prior to 2012, I literally had no memory of life under 200. Over the years, I tried all kinds of fad diets with little to no results. I had resigned to believe that being overweight was my Achilles heel, a life doomed to shame. However, thanks to Doug’s example, hope made an entrance.

(Chris, 6 years old at Disney World in Orlando, FL)

Growing up together, Doug and I had many things in common. We’re both avid TarHeels fans, played sports together, love to laugh, and have both wrestled with our weight. I began to notice Doug shed significant pounds and had to know his secret.  As it turns out, getting plenty of exercise and eating healthy is indeed a great recipe for getting in shape.  Doug had started running, cycling, and eating healthy and his transformation was nothing short of inspirational.  Living on opposite coasts, we began talking, training, and encouraging one another. I shed over 70 pounds and had never—ever—felt that sense of success and freedom in my life. 

(Doug & Chris, Parkwood/Durham, NC - circa 1980's)

In the Fall of 2012, I  began graduate school in Seattle, WA to fulfill a radical dream of becoming a clinical psychotherapist.  I can say with absolute certainty, without having the weight loss journey under my belt, I would not have been able to complete my professional training. While I had experienced profound victory over the shame of my body, my toxic shame mantras went into overdrive while I navigated my therapeutic training.  Nothing in my life had prepared me for how mentally and emotionally taxing that process would be and the dark thoughts I would wrestle with during those three-long-years. "Thanks" to a learning disability, the overwhelming rigor of reading, writing papers, and my clinical internship consumed all of my time.  With no time to workout, lots of stress eating, and a job where I sat most of the day, ALL the weight came back, bringing with it profound amounts of shame. 

When we first moved to Washington, we arrived in late October 2011. While some struggle with the gloomy climate, I instantly fell in love with the grey skies and the landscape of the PNW.  I can still remember the overwhelming feelings I had when I first saw Mount Rainier.  As cliché as it sounds, it was love at first sight.  Lady Rainier has been a steady presence for me, a constant reminder of something bigger than myself watching over me—even on days I could not see her.  I dreamt about finding my way to the summit, all the while the devious voice of shame tried to silence yet another dream.

Fast forward to June 2015, our family moved back to Nashville, TN. I accepted a therapist position in a new group counseling practice.  It was my dream job and would allow us to live closer to our family in North Carolina.  It was hard for us all to leave our beloved Seattle, and saying goodbye to friends, who had become our family, was incredibly difficult.  However, I did not know how much I would struggle with saying goodbye to Mount Rainier.  Friends would often text or post on social media letting me know, “Rainier says hello and misses you.”  While I indeed felt gratitude for the kindness of their reminders, I also felt a deep shame.  There have been too many moments in my life where I failed to take risks, fearing my shame would be exposed and the imposter lurking beneath the surface would be revealed.  I missed my window of opportunity to climb Rainier, or so I thought.

In the recovery world, there is a saying “Life on life’s terms.” Nashville didn’t go exactly how we planned and it seemed  like “life’s terms” were inviting us into a bold-new adventure.  I was becoming hungrier to embrace a professional dream of integrating life-changing therapeutic services, social activism, and adventure in the outdoors as a way of facilitating healing, growth, and change.  At the same time, my wife had begun her own transformative journey, one that invited her to face her own mountains.  In our almost 20 years of marriage, rarely has there been a single solution to a yearning so deep within both of us. It was time to go back to Seattle.

In July 2017, we rolled back into town and were greeted by the best welcome home sign ever—the mountain was out!  As I think about that moment, tears still well up. I thought to myself,  “this is a second chance.” While excitement certainly filled my belly, I’m not surprised that my old ball and chain, shame, was waiting patiently for me.  However, this time around, the man who returned back to Seattle was not the same one who arrived in 2011.  I had embraced a much more kinder view of myself, made peace with my own goodness, learned to love myself well, and found the courage to dare greatly.  

(Chris glad to be reunited with Lady Rainier)

At the beginning of 2018, I began a new life affirming adventure by owning my potential as an entrepreneurial business leader, mental health professional, husband, father and social advocate.  I decided to follow my life long passion for outdoors and the role I could play by creating and leading outdoor therapeutic programs available for ALL, not just those who could afford them. Launching Grey Sky Counseling was the crucial first step in fulfilling our vision.  In my professional work with clients, it's critically important for me to never invite someone to consider something I haven’t done myself.  For this reason, I finally decided to face my mountain. 

At the end of 2019, I became determined to take on the life-changing goal of climbing Mount Rainier, the highest mountain in WA and the toughest endurance climb in the lower 48. With the help of a new guide (John Colver), I began to envision myself as a lean, healthy, and strong mountaineer.  We set goals, created a plan, and moved into action. The training process has helped me feel mentally and physically stronger and I have lost almost 60 pounds!  

(John & Chris training at Mount Rainier's Glacier Basin for their 2020 expedition - June 13th, 2020)

A friend introduced me to John via his newly released book, Fit To Climb. John is an award winning fitness author and International Expedition Guide.  With over 125 Mount Rainier expeditions including 100 successful summits under his belt, I was determined to meet him in person and somehow convince him to be my guide.  As fate would have it, a window of opportunity presented itself and a deep friendship emerged. Knowing this climb will be a life-changing experience, I knew in my heart that our team would not be complete without the man who inspired it all, my cousin Doug. 

With any mountain there are variables you can plan for, and ones you cannot. It seems that shame’s modus operandi is throwing curveballs. None of us saw COVID-19 coming nor did we anticipate the mass amount of loss (life & experiences) it would bring. Due to the 2020 global pandemic, for months, there were no guided summits on Mount Rainier and the entire mountain was closed.

When first I heard the news I was devastated and could feel the fog of depression creeping in. My greatest fear is that my mountain of shame would once again be proven right. "You can’t do it." "You should’ve done it sooner." "Big dreams are not for you, Chris." Yet, my battle with shame has prepared me for this moment. Shame would have us call it off, quit, and give up -- yet our team is determined to keep climbing. I’m learning that conquering shame is not mountain specific; you pivot and keep putting one foot in front of the other and you fight your way to the top.

Because of the impact on the infrastructure at Mount Rainier National Park, our team made the hard decision to postpone our Rainier climb. However, on July 30th, 2020, Doug, John, and I will begin our summit attempt on Mount Baker, one of Rainier’s sister mountains. At 10,781 feet, Mount Baker is the third highest mountain in Washington and the fifth highest in the Cascade Range. 

Our small team is not only climbing and training together, we have also begun working on the next phase of the Grey Sky Co . vision: To bring practical and achievable, life-affirming adventures backed by evidence based therapeutic approaches that can provide meaningful life-changing experiences to everyone. Our programs are intentionally designed to confront the deception of shame, illuminate the profound goodness of all humans, and empower our clients to dream big  (Bob Goff), dare greatly  (Brene Brown), and thrive for life  (Grey Sky Co.).

Our mission is to serve our entire community including our most respected business and social leaders as well as those who can benefit from these programs but cannot afford them. Shame does not discriminate, and targets us all. This is where YOU come in. We are determined to provide a model that responds radically to pervasive mental and physical issues in our lives.  If we can respond and treat shame effectively, we will begin to address a number of the impossible mountains plaguing our world. My personal practice is to never climb alone and thus, we cannot do this without your support. 

Because of our training efforts, my teammates, Doug and John, and the amazing support from my wife and business partner, Brooke (founder of Grey Sky Spaces), and our wonderful children, I feel confident I will achieve my goal of climbing Mount Baker ( eventually Mount Rainier) and continue conquering the mountain of shame. In doing so, I will gain the necessary experience to lead others on powerful journeys of personal healing, growth and change--on and off the mountain. We are raising funds now to help contribute to the cost of our training, the climb itself, the development and launch  of Grey Sky Expeditions  and our 2021 programs. Will you join us as we conquer our mountains and make meaningful life-changing experiences available to all?

(Chris at Camp Schurmann training on Mount Rainier - July 12, 2020) 

We acknowledge our financial goal is a bold ask, particularly during these difficult and uncertain times.  However, we are convinced that this work is profoundly invaluable and will create healing opportunities for individuals, families, groups, organizations, communities, and our world. 

HERE'S HOW YOU CAN HELP:

1. DONATE This is one of the ways you can make the biggest impact as we journey to conquering the mountains of life. 

For starters:
If 200 people donate $100, we can raise $20,000 towards our goal.
If 100 people donate $50, we can raise $5,000 towards our goal. 
If 100 people donate $10, we can raise $1,000 towards our goal. 
If 100 people donate $5, we can raise $500 towards our goal. 

Your contribution and fundraising efforts empower Grey Sky Expeditions to offer life-changing therapeutic experiences to those stuck in survival mode who are yearning to thrive. No donation is too small. Here are a few ways your donation succeeds in meeting our goal: 

a. Allows Grey Skey Expeditions to officially launch.
b. Enables us to hire support staff and an Executive Director/Chief Climbing Officer. 
c. Covers business operational expenses, climbing equipment, and training costs. 
d. Fulfills current and future scholarship recipient needs.  
  
2. FOLLOW our social media accounts and share this story with at least 3 friends. 
Grey Sky Counseling Facebook 
Grey Sky Counseling Instagram 
Grey Sky Spaces Instagram 
Grey Sky Expeditions Instagram 

3. SHARE this GoFundMe on your social media accounts and invite others to donate and join us in conquering the mountain of shame. 

https://www.gofundme.com/manage/conquering-the-mountain-of-shame/edit/story

4. MARK your calendar for July 30th and light a candle as Chris, Doug, and John make their summit attempt on Mount Baker. One of our rituals in our work in Spaces  and in Counseling  is we light a candle as a sign of the courage it takes for clients to step into transformative work, lighting a path for healing, growth and change. Would you join us in lighting a candle on the day of our climb as a way of hoping for a safe and successful expedition? 


Thank you for your contribution and consideration. Your support allows us to continue our work and expand it to countless others.

It is not the mountain that we conquer, but our shame. What's your mountain?


(Chris after a long day of training at Mount Rainier's Glacier Basin - July 12, 2020)

Chris Byers
Grey Sky Co.
Donate

Donations 

  • Wongee Joh
    • $100
    • 4 yrs
  • Anonymous
    • $1,500
    • 4 yrs
  • Christie Heath
    • $100
    • 4 yrs
  • Ambrose and Latrice Bradley
    • $100
    • 5 yrs
  • William Howard
    • $100
    • 5 yrs
Donate

Organizer

Grey Sky Co.
Organizer
Bellevue, WA

Your easy, powerful, and trusted home for help

  • Easy

    Donate quickly and easily

  • Powerful

    Send help right to the people and causes you care about

  • Trusted

    Your donation is protected by the GoFundMe Giving Guarantee