Connor to represent Canada in bridge!

Hi, my name is Connor Havens, and I need your help.

I am one of 6 bridge players under the age of 26, representing Canada as a Canadian Junior at the World Youth Team Championships in Veldhoven, Netherlands in 2023.

As the only Autistic player on the team, I have a unique perspective to this opportunity. Perhaps I should start at the beginning...

December 2005, age 4.

I was diagnosed with autism, along with epilepsy. My family was told that by the time I was an adolescent, I would no doubt be institutionalized based on the severity of my diagnosis and extreme behaviours that I presented with. At that time, I had 7 meltdowns a day whereby I would yell, thrash about, swear, bite, headbutt and harm myself or others. Each meltdown would last close to an hour. I was not able to walk straight, nor do stairs. I was still in diapers. I couldn't hold a pencil let alone write. I was called a runner, meaning every opportunity I got, I would take off running. I had an aversion to loud noises, and had little to no sound modulation, only loud. Although I was verbal, my topics for conversation were extremely limited and I was not able to deviate from them. I also had seizures on a regular basis.

2005 to 2008, age 4 to 7

I started Applied Behavioural Analysis therapy (ABA), a therapy based on the science of learning and behaviours. I also started behavioural modification that focused on ignoring my behaviour during a meltdown so that my brain would not interpret any reaction to my meltdowns as encouragement for such behaviours. I also had physio therapy to assist in my range of motion and walking coordination.

These 3 years were intensive with 40 hours of therapy a week in ABA (6 therapists rotating), followed by 20 hours of ABA by my mother on evenings and weekends, for a total of 60 hours a week. My mother used to joke that I did more hours in therapy than a university student in those early years.

By the age of 7, I was getting out of diapers, I could walk straight and had just mastered stairs. I still had a couple of daily meltdowns but medication along with consistent behavioural modification reduced the frequency and length. I was mastering many ABA programs and could frequently mimic an A-typical child on my best day, but I still struggled with displaying/verbalizing/showing/feeling affection and empathy for others.

2008 to 2012, age 7 to 11

I started a new type of therapy, thanks to my mother and the province of New Brunswick,

Relationship Development Intervention (RDI), a family based behavioural treatment which addresses the core symptoms of autism. It focused on building social and emotional skills. This is where my life really changed.

I learned to enjoy spending time with my family. I learn what, "I love you" meant. I experienced feelings and recognized these feelings. I was able to have a conversation with another person on their topic of choice. I started to make connections with others. My mother describes it as the time she got her son back and she knew I loved her as much as she loved me.

I discovered my first life passion: hockey. I begged my mother to play hockey and to go to every Wildcat's Hockey game (local team). I learned to skate at the age of 7, having just learned to walk. I played hockey and took every skating program I could get my hands on and became an above average hockey player. I did the same in soccer, basketball and baseball. I learned team dynamics and life lessons. I also made friends and acquaintances on these teams that supported me in later years of school when bullying was not fully under control in the school system.

2012 to 2015 Age 11 to 14

This period is what my mother calls, my start of independence.

I discovered my second life's passion: bridge, yes, the card game. Originally, I didn't qualify to enter the bridge (extra curriculum) program at my school but my mother had an inkling that I might be a good player. She sought out the local bridge club and took lessons so that she could in turn teach me the game. She read 2 hours every day, the first two years to stay on top of the game and to teach me. The game was alive to me. I could see patterns and came up with different strategies for bidding based on stats I had observed.

The local bridge clubs where I live, took me under their wing and helped to support my growth both in my play and my social interaction. They welcomed me with open arms.

I won tournaments, and free trips to bridge tournaments across North American. I once got to play next to Bill Gates. I even asked if I could kibitz his play. In bridge you play at different level tournaments to obtain certain colour of points, based on performance. For example, black points, red points, silver points, gold points, platinum points and so forth. And as you obtain a collection of points, you obtain different levels. I obtained my life master while I was still in high school, something that many people spend a life time to aquire.

2015 to 2023 Age 14 to 21

I graduated from high school and got the privilege to join the Coyotes at the NHL draft in 2019.

https://arizonasports.com/story/2007621/coyotes-fan-with-autism-scouting-aspirations-joined-team-at-nhl-draft/

I did a year of upgrading during covid and completed one year of college, learning about the role of pharmacy technician. I have volunteered and worked at almost a dozen Shoppers Drug Marts throughout Atlantic Canada and plan to pursue a career as a pharmacy assistant.

When I received the invitation to represent Canada at the World Team Championships in Bridge in Veldhoven, Netherlands in 2023, I was very excited as it's one of my life's passion. You can read more about our team at www.cbf.ca .

This is the part where I ask you to help me represent Canada at the World Youth Team Championships in Bridge this year.

Please donate. Any donation will help and will be appreciated!

Thank you.