November 4th was the day I was forced to take a good look at myself. Even though I was awake I lost a week and a half of my life. I remembered very little of the 4th. My good friend told me he thought I had passed out. Which I'm pissed for putting him through that. I'm pissed at myself for putting everyone through that day and every other day they had to see me self destruct.

Once I got out of the hospital the doctor wanted me to go into rehab which I refused. Long story short I ended up in one anyway for a week. Was set to go into another one but insurance wasn't kicked in. I still plan on it because there are alot of things I need to work on.

The initial fog has been lifted and the layers of my trauma and self inflicted trauma is starting to show its cover. Seriously don't know why im still here. But the big man must have a reason.

It's still hard to get out but manage it to go to doctor appointments and my new family at aa.

I want to thank my family for the support I don't deserve. My friends for the prayers and donations to help me with bills. That has definitely been a blessing. To my doctor that picked me up from rock bottom that day and sent me to rehab no questions asked. I thank you.

To my angel your timing to come into my life was perfect. Thanks for putting up with everything going on. I definitely wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

Today is 71 days of sobriety. For some that's just a drop in the bucket. For me its just a start. I had my first beer at 5 and my last drink at 55. To me now looking back that's insane.

Absolutely self inflicted but the path im on is to repair my soul and try to eventually repair what my jrunk self fucked up. And I mean years of it.

Anyway thanks again for the donations and the prayers. I'm blessed to have family and friends that support me in this rebuilding of life.

Brixey out #mynameismarkimaalchoholic