Clive Tyrrell

Hello everyone.

My name is Peter Tyrrell.

I am the son pictured in the pictures.

My father, Clive Tyrrell is in hospital.

he was admitted for heatstroke five weeks ago.

they monitored him and performed tests on him, including for Lymphoma.

while awaiting test results , he had to have his heart restarted due to palpitations and was taken to intensive care.

then he had a drain on his lung due to fluid.

I saw him on Wednesday of last week and he seemed okay.

we discussed him writing a list of places he wanted to go and I would take him using the wheelchair.

the only place he said at the time, was the science.

now, today, Saturday 26th July, I got the devastating news from my brother.

he has Sepsis and Pneumonia and he has weeks if not days to live.

I was avoiding visiting him today because I don’t want to face possibilities of him dying.

its a lot to arrange and sort and also very costly but also I would rather to focus on him being here, alive at this very moment.

I normally take silly filters and stories to make things light hearted and make him smile.

today I saw him and he couldn’t speak.

he took my hand to hold. He has never done that or showed signs of weakness.

it was heartbreaking but I asked if he could hear me and he nodded. I told him im so proud of him and mum and so proud to be part of their family. I also told him I loved him.

two years ago he had a stroke and I came round a lot more, even stayed regularly to care for him and cook for him and my brother too.

im a chef so I would take food home so they would save money. They would get healthy good food and i would save time cooking too.

i saw him after the stroke. A hospital bed in our house. Eventually a stair lift and a walking frame.

made me so sad to see his independence disappear so suddenly and he seemed to accept that was his new life.

eventually I came to accept if others are happy with their lives, who am I to try and change things.

fast forward to now. seeing him today.

Just a shell. Losing all of his freedom and independence. So heartbreaking.

the nurse took me outside.

confirmed. Sepsis. Pneumonia….

Also Hodgkins Lymphoma.

so treatment for cancer would make it worse.

the Lymph nodes are cancerous so cannot fight the sepsis and anything else.

he has weeks if not days to live.

my family are more important to me than I once thought.

I wasn’t always this way.

I used to work i Wagamama as a sous chef.

working non stop, grasping for riches and success.

I gave no time for family at all.

they would call and I would rush the call.

Get rid of them. I was awful and too busy for them.

my mum went into hospital. 7 years ago.

i didn’t see her for months while she was there.

eventually I went and was so sad and planned to see her the following Sunday. She died the Friday before.

I went back to work. To forget everything and not be sad or break my strength.

my boss offered grievance time. I said no.

Months later, my boss, Imran told me I have to take holiday or i will lose it.

I took it and went home. In a short moment I sat and thought.

everything hit me, the loss of my mum was unbearable.

My mind went weird and started putting my ex girlfriend (literally the best girlfriend) where my mum was, so I would chat to her like she was my mum.

we separated and sold the house. We put so much love and gun into the house too, nightclub, cinema room, hot tub.

but in the end I lost a lot without realising what was happening or how important she was.

Id go back to work at Wagamama and came late 3 times (managers open the store to let others in). One manager who hated me, never understood why but she was the acting head chef and she sat me down and told me im fired because I was late, no warnings, no disciplinaries.

she then proceeded to discuss with me that she thought the catering industry wasn’t a career I should continue to pursue. (I had been a chef for over nine years by then, including management levels).

I left the store and applied for jobs.

46 offers later, I settled for Giraffe restaurants.

It was minimal stress so was okay.

I remember covering a site in bromley and went to a Holland and Barrett to get tablets as I felt awful all over my body.

As I walked in, I asked for medicine and literally started crying so much.

I guess after realising how things had gotten, it was just too much.

I then decided a few days later that my life is rock bottom and worthless completely so ai took a train to London and walked to London Bridge.

I walked over the edge and pulled out a coin with the hope it will land on heads and end it all.

It was tails. I climbed back over and walked back to the station, just wondering why it wasn’t heads, why is my life worth more.

so much led me to that impulsive decision including guilt and sadness from not placing my mum or family where in life they should always be!

now since my dad had a stroke, I had spent two years, two, sometimes stressful, sometimes fun, sometimes great years helping and caring for family as family should.

we as a family grew up in poverty.

my parents starved to feed up, got in debt to make sure we have basics too.

we never got gifts most times as they couldn’t afford it but that makes me enjoy the feeling of giving without expecting anything in return.

I remember my mum saved up Pepsi coupons and gave me the free spice girl cd after she collected enough.

her thought meant a lot more than most would understand (could have been a better band though mama❤️)

we were bullied in school as children too as my brothers had learning difficulties.

we were all still family regardless and now I know that without my parents I wouldn’t be here today and I definitely wouldn’t have some of my values I have too.

I'm sharing all of this in the hopes that you could help donate some money towards his funeral.

I’m not asking for a lot or more than needed because I just want to give him a really great send off so he realises everything hes done for us in these years has gone unnoticed.

please note. Date not set yet.

I do a lot of fun stories on my instagram @peterjamestyrrell and would be happy to show how the funeral went in a light hearted way.

obviously Id rather not ask for something without being able to offer something back.

I can offer services of photography and videos including reels too.

I can offer to help promote your business.

do you need a music video?

some reels for social media?

a review?

a photoshoot?

a script review?

a food recipe?

a food taster?

im even happy to meet and chat with you.

some people I already know as well but if you want some of my time, let me know.

if you can help me with a donation or even just a share here and there to your social media.

Im open to discussing something I can give back to you.

As a thank-you and as acknowledgment of how much your help means to me.

thanks a lot.

peter tyrrell.