Clarissa Loughlin's celebration of life
Donation protected
March 1, 2019. Mom was a giving, loving, faithful, beautiful person. We've never met anyone so unique and pure and precious. She gave out of her nothing. She loved, when a normal person couldn't imagine loving. I didn't think we would make one of these GoFundMe things for her. She never wanted to ask for anything but she would always give. Everyone has been asking for this though and we will not stop people from blessing this family and just helping out in the most difficult situation any of us kids have had to face.
This is Isabel writing by the way. I just wanted others who loved her to have clarity of what happened.
I saw my mommy Friday morning and I'll usually drive her to work but this day I didn't really want to use the car or anything so she was able to drive herself to work. She left at 8 in the morning, came back around 5 and I knew that when she comes back from work she'll just go straight to sleep. I was about to talk to her for a little before Garett and my sister picked me up to hang out and I walk in her room to she her kneeling next to her bed. She was in a praying position. When I first walked in I actually thought she was just praying and I just started to say "mom" repeatedly. I thought she was sleeping so I shook her and that's when I knew. I called my sister first and was like " what do I do?" and she told me to call 911 which I did. They told me to get her on her back and start doing compressions which I did. They came really fast but just in time for where my arms were gonna give out. The paramedics and everyone took over. I didn't go in after that. But that's when I just had to text Cindy, Auntie Mary, and Amanda. I needed them and all the Promise family to pray with me. It was 20 minutes since they've been there and they weren't going to the hospital and everyone seemed kind of weirdly uncomfortable around me. Garret and my sister got there and 15 minutes later they're telling us they did everything they could. I could not believe. I could not talk or blink or cry. I was not real. It was absolutely unbelievable. Auntie Mary and Uncle Bryan came next with Pastor Henry on the phone and when we were expecting big hugs and kind words instead we hear "talk to Pastor now." He says " Emily, Isabel do not give up! Pastor Jackie was told by the Holy Spirit that today we will raise someone from the dead from our church" Hearing his passion, hearing how convinced he was, hearing exactly what I wanted to hear. In that moment we all aligned our faith. I'm grateful for the people we have. Cindy, Amanda, my brother, Jay, Mama J, Jessica, Christina, Matthew, Christine, e v e r y o n e. Not only people who showed up at my house but people who were interceding from a distance. The anointing in the room... Cindy said was imaginable. She was shocked when my mommy didn't come back right then and there.
The next day we knew for sure she was gone and not coming back but I had this peace because of what Cindy said to me the night of. " Jesus gave her a choice. Staying in her true home, with her savior. Or going back to earth." As weird as it is I'm grateful she decided to stay home. Jesus has been taking care of her better than my sister or brother or I ever could.
You know she always said " I just have to wait until Isabel turns 18, I'm taking care of her so I can't do anything else." I've been 18 for 7 months now. She raised all of us kids. Raised us to know Jesus.
I know this writing is all scattered. It's been hard for me to write.
The medical examiner explained how they found nothing in her brain or her heart or anything that can determine the cause of death. But Garrett asked them to double check or look further if they could. They called back. It was a brain tumor.
My mom left in such a peaceful way.. I want to believe she left praying for God to take her home. I'm grateful she didn't have to suffer on this earth. She didn't want us to see her suffering or upset. She didn't want us to have to take care of her and she didn't want us to have to worry. She is the most selfless person I've ever known.
If anyone would like to donate for help for the memorial and all that technical stuff all four of us kids( John, Emily, Isabel, Garrett) would appreciate that very much.
This is Isabel writing by the way. I just wanted others who loved her to have clarity of what happened.
I saw my mommy Friday morning and I'll usually drive her to work but this day I didn't really want to use the car or anything so she was able to drive herself to work. She left at 8 in the morning, came back around 5 and I knew that when she comes back from work she'll just go straight to sleep. I was about to talk to her for a little before Garett and my sister picked me up to hang out and I walk in her room to she her kneeling next to her bed. She was in a praying position. When I first walked in I actually thought she was just praying and I just started to say "mom" repeatedly. I thought she was sleeping so I shook her and that's when I knew. I called my sister first and was like " what do I do?" and she told me to call 911 which I did. They told me to get her on her back and start doing compressions which I did. They came really fast but just in time for where my arms were gonna give out. The paramedics and everyone took over. I didn't go in after that. But that's when I just had to text Cindy, Auntie Mary, and Amanda. I needed them and all the Promise family to pray with me. It was 20 minutes since they've been there and they weren't going to the hospital and everyone seemed kind of weirdly uncomfortable around me. Garret and my sister got there and 15 minutes later they're telling us they did everything they could. I could not believe. I could not talk or blink or cry. I was not real. It was absolutely unbelievable. Auntie Mary and Uncle Bryan came next with Pastor Henry on the phone and when we were expecting big hugs and kind words instead we hear "talk to Pastor now." He says " Emily, Isabel do not give up! Pastor Jackie was told by the Holy Spirit that today we will raise someone from the dead from our church" Hearing his passion, hearing how convinced he was, hearing exactly what I wanted to hear. In that moment we all aligned our faith. I'm grateful for the people we have. Cindy, Amanda, my brother, Jay, Mama J, Jessica, Christina, Matthew, Christine, e v e r y o n e. Not only people who showed up at my house but people who were interceding from a distance. The anointing in the room... Cindy said was imaginable. She was shocked when my mommy didn't come back right then and there.
The next day we knew for sure she was gone and not coming back but I had this peace because of what Cindy said to me the night of. " Jesus gave her a choice. Staying in her true home, with her savior. Or going back to earth." As weird as it is I'm grateful she decided to stay home. Jesus has been taking care of her better than my sister or brother or I ever could.
You know she always said " I just have to wait until Isabel turns 18, I'm taking care of her so I can't do anything else." I've been 18 for 7 months now. She raised all of us kids. Raised us to know Jesus.
I know this writing is all scattered. It's been hard for me to write.
The medical examiner explained how they found nothing in her brain or her heart or anything that can determine the cause of death. But Garrett asked them to double check or look further if they could. They called back. It was a brain tumor.
My mom left in such a peaceful way.. I want to believe she left praying for God to take her home. I'm grateful she didn't have to suffer on this earth. She didn't want us to see her suffering or upset. She didn't want us to have to take care of her and she didn't want us to have to worry. She is the most selfless person I've ever known.
If anyone would like to donate for help for the memorial and all that technical stuff all four of us kids( John, Emily, Isabel, Garrett) would appreciate that very much.
Organizer and beneficiary
Isabel Loughlin
Organizer
Escondido, CA
Garrett Zaner
Beneficiary