Christopher B. Allen Funeral & Memorial

My name is Charles Allen from Port Townsend, Washington and I have created this GoFundMe Campaign for help with Funeral & Memorial costs for my son, Christopher Allen who passed away on March 9th, 2020.

The GoFundMe funds are to provide help my wife and I specifically with the funeral services such as his cremation, the transportation of his remains to us, the memorial service, the cemetery fees, headstone, the transportation to our family plot to lay his remains to rest, the hiring of a private investigator to assist in our son's closure payments of debts and assets search so we can bring closure with regards to those things for our son.  

As our GoFundMe campaign goes forward, my plan is to withdraw the funds directly to our bank account as they become available and we will be working with our bank directly to make the payments for the items shown above that we are needing help with.

The story behind my GoFundMe Funeral & Memorial Campaign:

For the last few days, I truly struggled with if I was going to actually post up or not, because… well, I still haven’t fully processed things that have happened over the course of the last 4-6 days. Things are still extremely raw for me as well as my family at the moment.

For those that know me, know that I have been a source of strength and courage… not just for my family but also for friends, acquaintances, my clients and even when needed… strangers. People have remarked over the last couple decades and what I could carry on my shoulders and the calm demeanor with which I could hold… no matter the situation or crisis.

But, these last few days, I learned what my breaking point was… what would cause my knees to buckle and the world in which I knew come to an abrupt end. You see, last Friday, March 13th, I received a call from a detective in the state that my eldest son, Christopher lived, Texas, informing me that he passed away from an apparent suicide. Investigators are now looking into the fact that there is a possibility that there was foul play involved and they are currently investigating it.

Last Friday, I had just picked up my youngest son from school and was heading to my car to load us up and head home when I received the call from the detective. After a few minutes of answering questions, I hear words that I never thought I would ever hear… “I’m sorry to inform you, Mr Allen, but your son, Christopher is dead.” For the first time in my almost 51 years of age, my legs forgot how to function and gave out from under me. My youngest son who is only 5 years old, was standing next to me, oblivious to what had just happened.


My little son then asked me, “Why did you fall, Daddy? Are you ok?” All I could do was tell him, “Daddy just stepped wrong and fell… it will be ok.” I had to get us home so I could ensure that both our little kids could be watched by a friend so I could let my wife know. That Friday happened to also be my wife’s 41st birthday. Although she was Chris’ step-mom, she loved him and still does as if he was her own.

What a lot of people do not know is, Chris was from my 1st marriage and after the divorce, I was granted full custody and raised him on my own with the support and help from my wonderful parents, who have now long since passed away. It was hard being a single dad and we went through the fire together and no matter what… no matter the situation or circumstances… it was always he and I… him in my arms or by my side, through thick or thin, good, bad, or indifferent. It was a tough time… but we made it through.

He went to Job Corps when he was 16 and joined the Army as a Combat Engineer when he was just over 17 years old… and served in Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan. When he came home, something changed. Like all kids, they go through their teenage angst years, struggle fitting in socially, etc and coming home from the military and war, early 20’s, PTSD took its toll on him and ever since, he had difficulty fitting into the cookie cutter mold of civilian life.

For a brief stint afterwards, his drinking escalated into a combination of substance abuse. But, he always knew, no matter how bad things got or how pissed he was at me for holding him accountable for his actions, etc… he knew he could reach out to me and that he could do so without the fear of judgement… knowing he would get the leg up, not the hand out to help him find his footing again. He did fantastic in his recovery process, but that underlining anger and such was still present. He chose a very hard life and it was a struggle. Despite the self imposed hardships, he found his footing this past year and began to be on the upswing. He completed trade school for HVAC, had a nice little apartment, had a car, a small boat and was beginning to make that positive change that we, his parents as well as friends and family wanted to see for him.

He and I talked (when he wasn’t pissed at me for whatever reason as kids of all ages at times do) almost daily or at least a couple times a week through video chats of video messages. He would be spunky, snarky, playful and sometimes downright funny. He was that way on March 8th when I last chatted with him. He had a lot going on, but we chatted over the course of a couple hours or so and had a great time of it. That was that last time I ever heard or saw of him and it still isn’t registering fully that it is the last time I ever will. They said he passed away either the following day or day after. We are still awaiting the final word from the coroner.

Now, I sit here playing his video messages to me over and over, just so I can hear his voice and see him.

Over these past couple of days, we’ve had the loving support of friends and family and even had an extended family member fly in to be with us during this time. I do not know what we would have done had that show of love not been there and we are eternally grateful.

So what now? Where does a parent begin to stand again, let alone take the first step in trying to manage the gambit of emotion and grief? Talking to Detectives, Coroner’s Offices, Funeral Homes, Landlords, and so on and so one makes it seem so unreal… disconnected. But, it must be done and we must bring closure to the physical necessities so we can focus on the healing ones.

I am getting updates ever day or other day regarding the status of his case. His autopsy is complete and they have released him to a mortuary service in his state awaiting for us to make the full arrangements for us to get him and bring him home and lay him to rest where he can finally be at peace… free from anger, struggle, torment and fighting the world… internally and externally.

We have set up a GoFundMe campaign for those that would like to help with his funeral, transportation of his remains home, and a memorial in his honor. We have much to do to bring this final chapter of his life to a close and can use the help from those that wish to do so. I know he touched many hearts (and nerves) of a great many over the years and I cannot thank each and everyone one of you enough for the love and support you gave to him as well as us.

As we go through this grieving process, I am sure I will share pics and stories of Chris. Thank you for your patience and indulgence as I do.

I will greatly miss my “Warriorheart”… my eldest kiddo. He will always be that baby boy with the fire blue eyes and huge smile looking up at the night sky saying, “Look, da mooonnnddd!!”

Rest peacefully my son. You are now with Oma, Opa and Papa. I will see you again… if only in my dreams for now.

I love you and miss you already,

Dad



“Audacter et Strenue”