My whole heart is literally shattered in pieces, I can feel the effects all the way to my soul.
My baby brother, who was just 28 years young, decided he couldn’t take anymore, and made the decision to end his own life.
He was my best friend, my lifeline. Since we were kids, we joked we were seriously meant to be twins, his lazy butt just slept through our original birthday. We’ve been through some of the most horrible things together. I’m struggling trying to come to terms with how I’m going to survive this life without him.
I am putting out there how he died first, to raise awareness, then to make anybody with suicidal thoughts aware of what is left behind. Please, have a plan in place, people you can talk to when you’re struggling.
“Suicide is a worldwide epidemic that claims the lives of 800,000 people annually, including one every 12 minutes in the United States. Every one of these deaths leaves behind an estimated six “suicide survivors,” loved ones of the deceased who have to figure out how to live with the tragic loss.“
If only these people could grasp in that moment what they were leaving behind. Let me tell you what it’s like being one of so many people left behind, affected and totally devastated. I’ve cried a lot, y’all. I’ve cried so much I’ve been psychically sick. I haven’t slept since I found out. I haven’t even tried. When there’s a break in the calls, a break in people checking in on me, my mind starts torturing me. I’ve heard the ‘how’ so many times, my mind keeps playing out the moment he took his own life, it’s as if I was there with him and my mind is replaying a memory. I just want it to stop.
My heart is truly broken. My heart is broken not only for me, but for my family, too. And most importantly, for his babies. When I think of how they must feel, my heart feels like it’s shattering into a million pieces all over again.
Please pray for us all. Or send good thoughts. Or light a candle. we need everything we can get.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1–800–273–8255. It is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Please reach out. Your life matters.
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