Help during my cancer treatment

This feels so cringe...but here we go. So… I've been grappling with a tough decision. Turns out, none of my hours on the cruise ship count towards unemployment in Canada, and with just meeting the minimum hours to qualify for benefits from my other job, I'm looking at a tight financial situation. Despite working a bit in November, it only covered a fraction of my expenses. Facing a hiatus until March because of treatment, I find myself needing help, especially with costs like rent and the guest suite in my building for guests who are so graciously coming in from very far away on their own dime to help me out. My small apartment can't accommodate a live-in guest, but it's crucial for my well-being during treatments to have someone here.

I'm undergoing radiation and chemo, and there's a real possibility of a feeding tube (god help me if I have to do that). Having someone around is vital, not just for practical support but for my mental health too. While many people from afar have offered help, I've been uncertain about what I needed. Now, I'm reaching out (albeit reluctantly) realizing it's time to ask for assistance.

This is a very difficult thing for me to do. My pride is taking a beating. I HATE asking for help.

I'm seeking help to reach $3k initially, covering the guest suite. Anything beyond that will help prevent me from going into major debt and relieve a considerable amount of stress by helping with basics like rent, transportation, medications and specialty foods I’ll have to have for the last month of treatment and the recovery weeks.

Also, for those interested, I've decided to document my journey in treatment on a dedicated blog instead of inundating Facebook. If you'd like to follow along, check out https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/stevenbidwell.

Any support is appreciated, not expected. I know lots of people are dealing with their own stuff at the moment, and it's the holidays, so I absolutely understand that people may not be in a position to help. I get it.

Thanks for considering.

Futher history on my condition: This is the FIFTH time that I have had oral cancer, but the first time it has metastasized from my tongue/mandible to my lymph nodes. The first occurance was in 1997. I had a canker sore that just wouldn't go away, so they removed it and it was severe dysplasia. The second time was 10 years later in 2007 and they took a larger portion of my tongue our and it was squamous cell carcinoma on the same section of the tongue - the left side. The third instance was in 2020 and it was again squamous cell carcinoma. Then 2 years later it appeared again on my tongue but had now spread to my mandible (the little trough between your teeth and tongue) Another excision. Then 1 year later, in September 2023 I found a lump a lymph node on my neck. I had a regular follow up with my doctor scheduled when the cruise ship I was working on moved to the new port of NYC and he did a biopsy. I found out that the cancer has metastasized while I was in quarnatine on the ship with Covid. My contract was close to completion, so I was able to finish that and then I left the ship on Oct 21. On Nov 1 I had surgery to remove the lymph nodes and the spot on my tongue/mandible. Because the recurrence seems to have sped up, and because it has spread, the treatment of radiation and chemo was recommended.

Today I had my first treatment. The treatment will be almost 7 weeks and it will take 2-3 weeks to recover. My biggest fear, as a performer, is that my voice will change. I am doing EVERYTHING that I can to ensure that it doesn't. I've had to buy all sorts of things to ensure that I come out of this not only healthy of body and mind, but healthy of voice. So...I'm doing everything that I can think of. Everything the doctors have suggested and everything that as a performer I know of as well.

I have a great team at Princess Margaret Cancer Center in Toronto, and I know that this is going to be just fine. I will be back to myself in the spring, and I can't WAIT! But for now, I need a little help.

Thank you so much for reading all of this. It means so much to me that you even took the time.

<3 Steven