Raising funds for ivf

Hi my names alana , right from being a little girl I dreamt of being a mum. I was a typical little girl that loved playing with dolls , except I took it very seriously, they each had a name and I would spend pocket money in charity shops to buy proper clothes for them. As I got older I didn't think of what career I wanted, what car I'd want to drive, I just thought about becoming a mother. In 2017 after lots of relationship heartaches I met my now husband Andy. Andy already had a child which was quite a scary thing but I embraced it and welcomed a then 3 year old Matthew into my life . September 2017 Andy proposed to me and I made the decision in the December to come off the pill to ensure it had plenty of time to come out of my system. Never did I imagine that 5 years down the line I would still be a "mother without a child ". In that time I have had so many hospital trips , 3 transvaginal scans , 2 ultrasounds , swabs , 3 smears, a colposcopy , lletz treatment for cin3 pre cancerous cells . Dye put into my tubes, blood tests and other tests. I was put on clomid tablets for over a year to help me ovulate more , that it's self made me quite unwell, I had several fainting episodes, gained 2 stones , dizziness and night sweats . I then endedup on anti depressants. Still I thought it would all be worth it because I'd get my chance to be a mum. Unfortunately we were told that we have a less than 5 percent chance to naturally concieve , we have unexplained infertility and our best option is to try ivf. Now what many people don't know is that if one of you already has a child then your not entitled to a free round. To me this is such a cruel rule , and feels like I am being punished. The initial tests alone are 500 pounds, there is then a 33 percent chance of it working for us based on having 3 rounds. This breaks my heart daily because we aren't even in a position to afford one round. I understand there are others in this situation and I feel for every single one of you. I feel that I am not whole , that I have no purpose . I have lost count of the amount of times I have sat on the toilet and just cried , the amount of times my periods been late but yet I've got another negative test. I walk round supermarkets and find my self crying at the baby clothes aisles. I feel like I am failing at being a wife , at being a step mum because my whole life is being consumed by infertility. I know that I'd be a fantastic mum and I'd love for me and Andy to be able to share something that brings us together as a family. I understand its a lot to ask but every little will help us to get started on our ivf journey. Thankyou so much for reading