Hello all. My name is Mariah and I am asking for your help.

October 25, 2020. It was a Sunday, a minor detail on a day that will have changed and impacted our lives so much. It was the day my dad, the backbone of our family walked into Knox Community Hospital in excruciating pain, thinking he’d be receiving treatment for chronic kidney stone disease. However, what he received was a diagnosis of cancer.

Short back story. Dad has struggled with kidney stones for as long as I can remember. Most of the time he would endure the pain and pass the stones on his own at home. On occasion he would go to the hospital and have assistance in passing the stones. However, in recent years he had stopped going to the hospital for the stones because he no longer had health insurance. My dad had worked as a welder in the same factory for 26+ years. The name of the factory changed several times but the dedication my dad had and the hard work he put in, did not. After Siemen’s (as it was last known while he was employed) shut down, my hard working dad lost his health insurance. He’s a strong and stubborn man, but on Sunday, October 25, 2020 after three days of being unable to urinate and the pain reaching new levels, my dad went to the ER, with my mom by his side.

My heart hurts reliving the events that took place/were retold to me weeks after they happened. Many people don’t know the story that I’m about to tell because if you know my dad, you know he’s a private man. My dad doesn’t like to burden anyone with his problems or cause unnecessary worry. This is why I didn’t learn of his diagnosis until early November. My parents knew I had a big test coming up and they didn’t want to distract me from that. That is the type of man my dad is, selfless.

My dad has been having body pains for years prior to any diagnosis. I remember for several years he had struggled to get in and out of low sitting vehicles, couches, etc. We had all attributed this to age and weight gain. The night my dad received his diagnosis, he had a PSA of 756, normal PSA is 4. His Gleason score was 9. In short, the diagnosis is Stage 4 metastatic Prostate Cancer with bone metastases. He had bone metastases in his skull, sternum, ribs, right shoulder, scapula, throughout his spine (with fusion of lower vertebrae), right femur, pelvis and hip joints. The cancer is present in his vascular system, glands, and lymph nodes.

Since then, he has undergone chemo and various other treatments. He is on pain medications which allow short term activity but results in drowsiness and confusion. If you’ve followed along with my Raleigh posts, then you’ve seen the posts from when my parents visited and my dad is asleep on the couch, snoring. You see Raleigh looking at him crazy and laughing, well little does she know, he’s sleeping so much as a side effect to the medication. Side effects also include high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, sleepiness, weight gain, swelling of joints and extremities, night sweats, hot flashes, inability to focus, loss of short-term memory, loss of balance, weakness in joints, back and joint pain, immunocompromised, loss of appetite, inability to stand, bend or walk for normal periods of time. All of that is why my vow renewal happened after “only” 3 years of marriage. Devin and I got married in a courthouse with the promise of a big ceremony/reception sometime down the line. After learning of my dad’s diagnosis and the life expectancy given to him, and after the first wave of grief hit, I knew I needed to get to work. My dad WOULD walk me down the aisle and I WOULD have my father/daughter dance that I have dreamed my whole life of. Seriously, I was writing stories since the first grade of how my entire life would go, to include this dance.

A few months before the wedding, at another appointment, my parents received more life changing news. Along with the bone metastases involving his femur, hip and pelvis, he also has severe osteoarthritis in his hip joint. He will need to undergo a full hip replacement surgery. With this surgery, he is at an increased risk of infection due to being immunocompromised and there’s an increased risk of surgery failure due to cancer lesions.

Y’all my dad, star on the track/football field who set school records throughout high school. My dad who went on to play football at the collegiate level at The University of Toledo. My dad who coached my sister and me in softball, taking our teams to multiple National Championships. My dad who coached all three of us (Azzure, me, Thoren) throughout our high school track days, coached us to perform at the collegiate level as well. If you ask around, he's impacted so many lives in the sports world. He has helped many young men and women discover their purpose and has helped them throughout their life journey. The man who taught us the true definition of never giving up and what true hard work was. This PaPa to 8 beautiful grandbabies, is now fighting for his life.

After being misdiagnosed several times over the years and finally having answers…the fight is on. My dad has blown doctors away with how he’s been responding to treatment. He has asked us (family) to keep this quiet up until this point. But despite my moms’ best efforts and trust me, she has done a phenomenal job in finding every outlet to pay for treatment without health insurance, the expenses are stacking up. My parents have been married for 36 years and considered divorce in order to receive more health care benefits for my dad. Isn’t that the saddest thing you’ve ever heard. Divorce to be able to afford health care. They aren’t doing it, but to even have to consider it. Anyway, we need help. The surgery my dad needs is expensive. They need to put down 50% of the cost before my dad can even have his name put down on the schedule for the surgery. After the surgery, when he comes home, we need to ensure that he has the equipment/safe space necessary for recovery.

We aren’t a family who asks for help. But we need help.

We will continue to fight with my dad. We will do everything we can to prolong his life. We need him in our lives. Joclyn, Tavin, Willow, Grayson, Cadence, Realyn, Kal, and Raleigh need their Papa. I need my dad. He is stronger than anyone I know. We will keep fighting.

Will you fight with us?

When you look at the goal we're trying to reach, just know that it's under the 50% my parents need to meet in order to put my dad's name on the list for surgery. You never fully understand the toll medical expenses take on a family until you're in that situation. I pray no one reading this has to go through anything similar. For those of you reading this who have gone through it, I'm sorry you have or are. It is hard. We thank you all for even reading this far.