Three months ago I found a lump in my breast I did the responsible thing and headed straight to the doctor blood work... mammogram.. a biopsy...

My friends and family know me... the Iron Butterfly... the Phoenix always landing on her feet.. I know I am stronger than most...but if you would have blown the gentlest of breath in my direction as I sat there listening... blinking back tears... I would have fallen off the table...

My first thought run!!!! far!!! so I got in my car and I drove 3 hours in 1 direction got out the car on the side of the road and screamed bloody murder....

I turned around and drove back and said nothing to no one for over a month call it denial... stupidity or just plain fucking fear...

See I already had a lot on my plate in February I lost my house... and I have to move and I have no idea where I'm going and I still don't have a job so I was already stressed the hell out... scared... panicking and now this....WTF did I do to deserve such shitty Karma?

So after I talked to God crying.. screaming...cursing I begged to know the answer to my only question... why now? I am already hanging on by a string and then this!

I didn't ask why me? I already know the answer to that again its that whole strength thing.. God knows what I can handle and what I can't... but again why now?

I slowly began to tell my family and my closest friends and then my Great Aunt passed...and I started to really look at life.

I realize that I need help and prayer from any source that's going to give it to me.

I started chemo 4 weeks ago some days it's hard to get up and other days I just can't but I got up Mother's day..

I celebrated my first Mother's Day in the nine years since my mom passed...I did so because I have a daughter who loves me and who is afraid of losing her mother and I wanted to show her that I was strong.. still here and that I was doing my damnedest to stay here..

I'm scared ...more so of anything that I've ever been scared of in my life but I am a fighter and you should know that I am also a Survivor...

And whilst everybody keeps saying you're going to be okay...this too shall pass... God has got you and all of the other things that people say when they are not sure exactly what you need to hear.

I had to admit I cannot do this alone...I was encouraged by several friends to start a GoFundMe when they offered assistance...so that's what I'm doing...

Asking for help is hard..especially when you are prideful...the sheer act of me trying to figure out a dollar amount that will give me peace of mind and the ability to stress less and tackle the road ahead is priceless to me....so I went with the sites recommendation whatever help and prayers I can get are most appreciated.

I have one last thing to say... the one thing I believe and one thing that I can truly say I feel with all of my being.... Cancer you definitely picked the wrong bitch... cuz I'm about to whoop your ass!

Keep me in your prayers...and Thank you!