This is not about medical marijuana this time (and thank you)--it's about survival. I'm trying to raise about $500 to get me to March. My bank account is severely overdrawn to the point where my credit union won't let me use my debit card. In other words, I'm busted. Where did it go? Same place it usually goes--into debt service. How far does a monthly Social Security payment go? Not far enough, when you figure in rent, utilities, and an occasional extravagance like clothing and music. By the way, music is not an extravagance any more than clothing--it's oxygen.

I resent and am embarrassed by continuing needs, even into my 70s. It feels to me like begging. Once I tried to beg on the streets of Paterson, NJ while I was homeless, and it got nowhere. It's even worse now; it's humiliating to ask for help, and it always has been. What will it be used for? Food, for starts, and I don't shop in specialty markets like Whole Foods or (up here) Wild Oats. Donations allow me to survive until March, so time really is an issue here.

As for gratitude? I've learned over the years that Anne Frank with right: people are really good at heart. For me, I can survive (or better) without the fear I feel all the time. I missed meals last month. My financial position isn't likely to improve. Chronic pain has made it all but impossible for me to work again. Social Security is my sole source of income, God help us all.