Building my life journey

I had the sleeve surgery in March of 2015.  I lost 100 pounds but then in Nov 2015 our son died unexpectedly from a blood clot and multiple bilateral pulmonary embolisms.  My life was frozen for 4 years.  It was a long hard time until I felt a bit normal.  Then in September of 2020 my daughter died unexpectedly from the same thing as our son.  I've struggled with sticking to the plan and regained 35 pounds.  Recently I have lost 20 of that and my goal is to lose an additional 20 to 30.  Because of the weightloss, I have sagging skin, arms, belly etc.  Plastic surgery is something I am looking forward to, to begin my life again.  Grief is hard and it wears on your face.  My goals are for a tummy tuck and muscle repair and a brachiaplasty for my arms.  Those bother me the most as clothes don't fit correctly.  Breasts can wait .... We all want to look and feel good and being so down, I really want to at least feel as though I look better.  I'm married to the love of my life and without him and God, my life might not be.  I have two children on earth still, along with 7 grandchildren that I love with all of my heart.  I am so thankful for this phenomenal group.  What a blessing to find and be accepted.  I've already blessed the current winner and am thrilled to see she has surpassed the halfway point in two days!  Thank you all.