My name is Lauren Gardner, I’m nineteen years old, I’m a sophomore at John Brown University, and I’m tired of being suicidal.
These last four years have been very trying for me; starting my junior year of high school, and continuing to this day. I suffer very greatly from Major Depressive Disorder and suicidality. My first attempt was as a senior in high school, then another my freshman year, and yet another not but a few weeks ago, in November of 2017. This is a condition that is constant, it is ever-present, it is all-consuming. It brings to mind the myth of Sisyphus, and the eternal damnation of rolling a boulder up a mountain day after day, only to have it fall back down and have to be rolled again the next day.
And frankly, I’m tired. I’m tired of the fighting, of the constant battle against my own mind, against medications that sometimes work, sometimes don’t. And that’s the real rub: medications. Medications only do so much. They’re a constant cycle of trial and error, of efficacy dwindling down to nothing over and over again.
But there’s an alternative.
Recently I have been invited to participate in an experimental treatment, a treatment that is gaining traction in the medical community, and a treatment that its recipients can only give good reviews for. This treatment has been told to help with depression and suicidal ideation more than any anti-depressant could.
And it has been offered to me. But, as always, it costs money to participate. The procedure will end up costing around $3500. This is no small number, and it can look daunting when faced with the ever closing window of opportunity. But that’s why I’m asking you for help.
Please, if you can, help me raise the money to get this treatment. I want so desperately to get better. I want to experience life without the ever-present yolk of depression burdening me. As cliché as this sounds: any little bit helps. I thank you for your kindness and your generosity.
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