- A
- S
- J
First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to visit this page and read about our daughter, Mara Benigno, and her struggle with depression and mental health.
As many of you know, 2018 has been an extremely difficult year for our family. In April, we suffered the tragic loss of my vibrant younger sister, Shannon. Without the love and support so many of you have given, we would not be where we are in coping with that loss. Unfortunately, our year has proven to become even more difficult, and I’ve decided to reach out to you for help.
As many of you know, Chris and I, raise 3 beautiful, bright, and amazing girls together, Mara (14), Olivia (10) and Ava (2). Generally speaking, we are very private about our personal life and our struggles as parents. Parenting is one of the most difficult journeys taken in life, but also the most rewarding. We are a blended family and when decisions need to be made, things are not always simply black and white.
Our oldest, Mara, has continuously suffered with mental health and depression concerns that run deeper than typical adolescent changes and challenges can account for. I have made it a priority to research and learn everything I can about teenage depression, mental health issues, how they impact adolescents and how to help. In the past few years, we have undoubtedly struggled to connect with her, guide her and protect her from all the environmental and social factors or triggers that contribute to teen depression and suicide.
Irrevocably, Mara has endured more than a dozen instances where she has self-mutilated or inflicted some form of self-harm in an attempt to cope with her inner conflicts and has been hospitalized several times, but only short-term. We have worked with numerous therapists and psychologists, tried numerous different psycho-social therapy approaches and various different medications but to no avail we simply cannot help her from within our home. She now, more than ever, requires treatment in a long-term residential facility not only for her safety but for the safety of our other girls as well. If you are unaware of the cost of a long-term mental health facility for adolescents, you are in for a shock, just as we were. These facilities are anywhere from $15,000 to $50,000 per month and are mostly private pay or private insurance only. The psychiatric recommendation of residential treatment for Mara is anywhere from 3-6 months. I'll let you do the math on that as I cringe every time I do.
Mara has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder- including episodic psychosis as well as Major Depressive Disorder- classified as Severe. Some of this she very well may be genetically predisposed to and some of it is triggered and influenced by social and environmental exposure. There is so much going on in the world today and our youth are simply burdened with it to the point of mental instability. Some of those burdens being expressed via self image, self identifying, gender identifying, orientation, and many other factors.
Previously, I thought April 25th was by far the worst day of my life until October 9th came. At approximately 3:45 p.m., I received a call that no parent ever wants to receive. Our 10 year old, Olivia came home from school and found Mara with bloody wounds and empty prescription bottles, only to realize she had attempted to commit suicide.
The call came from Olivia’s iPod, as it normally does on a school day when she checks in. However, when I answered it wasn’t Olivia, it was the responding 911 officer stating that I needed to come home immediately because our 14 year old was found covered in blood, had consumed what appeared to be an alarming amount of prescription medications and was being transported to the ER.
There is no greater feeling of helplessness and defeat when it comes to the inability to protect your child from something and having to bare witness to their struggle with it. It does not matter how hard you try to prepare yourself and your other children, how many safety precautions you take, or how much you research the concerning aspects of something like this, you never think you will get that call. That day I did.
The following days were beyond emotional for us. As parents, we sat in the Pediatric ICU hoping and praying our child would be okay, that she would wake up and smile again.
Poison Control deemed it was too late to pump her stomach or give her charcoal, therefore she endured seizures, disillusioned speech and hallucinations as the medications worked through all her body systems.
She underwent every scan, x ray, and test you can imagine. She was placed on oxygen and cardiac monitors that continuously reached alarming beeps as her levels constantly fluctuated. We did not know what the next hour would bring. After several days passed, Mara's health greatly improved and she was transferred to a Psychiatric facility for further evaluation and care.
Tragically, she was discharged against our wishes and we were forced, by law, to bring her home, and has since been lost in the system of healthcare that our country so proudly boasts about. Our home-life has been drastically changed. 24/7 worry and concern. Monitoring every single aspect of who does what and why. It is no way to live and has caused so much anxiety, tension, and simply put- exhaustion. We, like many other middle-class families today, do not have private health insurance and pay out of pocket for all of Mara's care and medications because on average it cost a lot less than a $4,000 or $5,000 deductible. Before anyways.
I cannot stress how incredibly difficult it is for us to expose ourselves and our families struggles in such a public forum but we have been put in an impossible position to where we simply cannot get through this alone. As the medical bills come in and the financial inability to place her in a long-term facility continue to burden us, we have made the decision to share our story with you. We have decided to share our personal experience and open up our private life in hopes to not only to help our daughter get the care she needs and deserves, but to raise awareness about teen suicide and depression. No person, family, or anyone should battle this alone.
If you are willing and able to help us raise funding so that Mara can obtain the care she desperately needs and deserves, it is beyond appreciated. Or, if you are simply willing to share this with others who you think may be able to help that, is also greatly appreciated.
The statistics of adolescents who are affected by mental health and do not get the proper care is astounding. What shocked me the most is that Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for adolescents,
motor vehicle homicide being the 1st. Did you know that nearly 80% of adolescent suicides are preceded by an Initial Suicide Attempt? An initial attempt that was not properly or immediately addressed, resulting in the help that those children desperately needed being dismissed and the loss of their life. I refuse to see our daughter become a part of that statistic- nor any child. If you would like to learn more about teen suicide and depression and just how prevalent it is, please visit www.apa.org, www.save.org or www.samsha.gov.
I want to leave you with a quote, to which I hold very close to my heart, as there is just not enough human kindness in the world today. Sadly, the lack thereof causes so much pain and suffering for our youth, not only in our country but around the world.
"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." -Unknown
As many of you know, 2018 has been an extremely difficult year for our family. In April, we suffered the tragic loss of my vibrant younger sister, Shannon. Without the love and support so many of you have given, we would not be where we are in coping with that loss. Unfortunately, our year has proven to become even more difficult, and I’ve decided to reach out to you for help.
As many of you know, Chris and I, raise 3 beautiful, bright, and amazing girls together, Mara (14), Olivia (10) and Ava (2). Generally speaking, we are very private about our personal life and our struggles as parents. Parenting is one of the most difficult journeys taken in life, but also the most rewarding. We are a blended family and when decisions need to be made, things are not always simply black and white.
Our oldest, Mara, has continuously suffered with mental health and depression concerns that run deeper than typical adolescent changes and challenges can account for. I have made it a priority to research and learn everything I can about teenage depression, mental health issues, how they impact adolescents and how to help. In the past few years, we have undoubtedly struggled to connect with her, guide her and protect her from all the environmental and social factors or triggers that contribute to teen depression and suicide.
Irrevocably, Mara has endured more than a dozen instances where she has self-mutilated or inflicted some form of self-harm in an attempt to cope with her inner conflicts and has been hospitalized several times, but only short-term. We have worked with numerous therapists and psychologists, tried numerous different psycho-social therapy approaches and various different medications but to no avail we simply cannot help her from within our home. She now, more than ever, requires treatment in a long-term residential facility not only for her safety but for the safety of our other girls as well. If you are unaware of the cost of a long-term mental health facility for adolescents, you are in for a shock, just as we were. These facilities are anywhere from $15,000 to $50,000 per month and are mostly private pay or private insurance only. The psychiatric recommendation of residential treatment for Mara is anywhere from 3-6 months. I'll let you do the math on that as I cringe every time I do.
Mara has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder- including episodic psychosis as well as Major Depressive Disorder- classified as Severe. Some of this she very well may be genetically predisposed to and some of it is triggered and influenced by social and environmental exposure. There is so much going on in the world today and our youth are simply burdened with it to the point of mental instability. Some of those burdens being expressed via self image, self identifying, gender identifying, orientation, and many other factors.
Previously, I thought April 25th was by far the worst day of my life until October 9th came. At approximately 3:45 p.m., I received a call that no parent ever wants to receive. Our 10 year old, Olivia came home from school and found Mara with bloody wounds and empty prescription bottles, only to realize she had attempted to commit suicide.
The call came from Olivia’s iPod, as it normally does on a school day when she checks in. However, when I answered it wasn’t Olivia, it was the responding 911 officer stating that I needed to come home immediately because our 14 year old was found covered in blood, had consumed what appeared to be an alarming amount of prescription medications and was being transported to the ER.
There is no greater feeling of helplessness and defeat when it comes to the inability to protect your child from something and having to bare witness to their struggle with it. It does not matter how hard you try to prepare yourself and your other children, how many safety precautions you take, or how much you research the concerning aspects of something like this, you never think you will get that call. That day I did.
The following days were beyond emotional for us. As parents, we sat in the Pediatric ICU hoping and praying our child would be okay, that she would wake up and smile again.
Poison Control deemed it was too late to pump her stomach or give her charcoal, therefore she endured seizures, disillusioned speech and hallucinations as the medications worked through all her body systems.
She underwent every scan, x ray, and test you can imagine. She was placed on oxygen and cardiac monitors that continuously reached alarming beeps as her levels constantly fluctuated. We did not know what the next hour would bring. After several days passed, Mara's health greatly improved and she was transferred to a Psychiatric facility for further evaluation and care.
Tragically, she was discharged against our wishes and we were forced, by law, to bring her home, and has since been lost in the system of healthcare that our country so proudly boasts about. Our home-life has been drastically changed. 24/7 worry and concern. Monitoring every single aspect of who does what and why. It is no way to live and has caused so much anxiety, tension, and simply put- exhaustion. We, like many other middle-class families today, do not have private health insurance and pay out of pocket for all of Mara's care and medications because on average it cost a lot less than a $4,000 or $5,000 deductible. Before anyways.
I cannot stress how incredibly difficult it is for us to expose ourselves and our families struggles in such a public forum but we have been put in an impossible position to where we simply cannot get through this alone. As the medical bills come in and the financial inability to place her in a long-term facility continue to burden us, we have made the decision to share our story with you. We have decided to share our personal experience and open up our private life in hopes to not only to help our daughter get the care she needs and deserves, but to raise awareness about teen suicide and depression. No person, family, or anyone should battle this alone.
If you are willing and able to help us raise funding so that Mara can obtain the care she desperately needs and deserves, it is beyond appreciated. Or, if you are simply willing to share this with others who you think may be able to help that, is also greatly appreciated.
The statistics of adolescents who are affected by mental health and do not get the proper care is astounding. What shocked me the most is that Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for adolescents,
motor vehicle homicide being the 1st. Did you know that nearly 80% of adolescent suicides are preceded by an Initial Suicide Attempt? An initial attempt that was not properly or immediately addressed, resulting in the help that those children desperately needed being dismissed and the loss of their life. I refuse to see our daughter become a part of that statistic- nor any child. If you would like to learn more about teen suicide and depression and just how prevalent it is, please visit www.apa.org, www.save.org or www.samsha.gov.
I want to leave you with a quote, to which I hold very close to my heart, as there is just not enough human kindness in the world today. Sadly, the lack thereof causes so much pain and suffering for our youth, not only in our country but around the world.
"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." -Unknown