We’ve all seen the emotional reunions of military men and women returning home after a long deployment, especially those returning from a combat zone. Parents, spouses, friends and children are happy and relieved that their service member has “safely” made it back home. What we don’t see in these reunions is that some of our military are returning physically, but they are not “whole” or safe within themselves. Mental health issues and PTSD are not visible wounds. Many service members will not ask for the help they need or there simply are not resources available to them. They get lost in the system and become truly lost.

This GoFundMe has been created on behalf of and with approval of my sister, Julie (Hartmann / Hollingshead) Goens. Late night on Monday, June 7th, 2021, she received the phone call that no parent ever wants to get. She is now working to bring her son, Thomas Hollingshead, home from Alaska and to cover funeral and burial expenses for him.

My nephew, Thomas, was a soldier. He was the son of two parents who served in the Army. His brother, aunt, stepfather and several uncles are also veterans. Thomas served in the Army as a Combat Medic from to 2008 to 2013. He was a decorated war veteran with numerous medals, badges and commendations. He was deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan. In his role as a Combat Medic, he helped fellow service members get immediate medical care in the field until they could get to a full-service medical facility. He saw the worst that can happen in war and saved many lives while performing his duties as a Combat Medic. Despite the horrors of war, Thomas took great pride in his work and in serving his country. As he was preparing to re-enlist, he was diagnosed with Krohn’s Disease. His condition became so debilitating that he was eventually medically discharged from the Army. He had planned to make the military a career and losing that option was a huge setback for him.

When he returned home, it was clear that he was also struggling with PTSD. There were times that he would sleep in a closet or other small, enclosed space because he felt safe there. Family and friends encouraged him to get help. Transitioning from the pace of life in a war zone back to civilian life while dealing with medical problems along with PTSD was extremely difficult, but Thomas was trying to find his way. He worked various jobs but needed something more rewarding. He wanted to continue helping others, and enrolled in a flight training program in Alaska to become a helicopter pilot for medical air ambulance and transport services. Unfortunately, his medical condition worsened and his hopes of becoming a helicopter pilot vanished. Once again, he was without purpose.

Medical and mental health resources were not readily available in Alaska. My sister Julie, and Thomas’ siblings, did everything humanly possible to help him, but Thomas was isolated and would not seek professional help, or that help was simply not available. When he did finally reach out, it was too little and too late. Eventually, Thomas joined a “support group” that consisted of a few people getting together in a social setting to drink and talk about sports, none of them were trained to assess or deal with mental health issues or PTSD, nor did they actually get to the heart of these issues. This was not the “help” that Thomas needed and I suspect it isn’t the help that anyone dealing with PTSD needs.

Thomas was at his best when caring for someone who was injured, yet he was not able to get the help that he needed when it was needed most.

It is said that each day 22 military veterans take their own life due to PTSD and other illnesses. On Monday, June 7th, my nephew became part of that statistic. Thomas was 35 years old. For the last 7 years of his life he was struggling with constant pain from medical issues and, more so, from PTSD. It finally broke him. His family is devastated by his sudden and tragic loss. We pray that he is now at peace mentally and in a place without physical pain. Thomas was dearly loved and will be greatly missed.

If you know a veteran who is struggling with PTSD or other illness, please encourage them to seek professional help and to do so early. The link below contains resources for both the veteran and loved ones:

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/MENTALHEALTH/get-help/index.asp

No Mom should ever have to do what my sister is doing today. Please help if you can. Thank you.