There is a lot of information I need to give here, so I will try my best to keep it to the point and leave out all the emotions, but if you know me, you know that is difficult, so please bear with me.

On Friday, December 5th, I received a text from my mama that she was experiencing flu-like symptoms and was going to lay down to try to sleep it off around 2 pm. Friday afternoon and evening came and went, and then the entire day Saturday. She hadn’t opened any of my messages, my brother's or sister-in-law's, or been on social media. Due to a series of very unfortunate and frightening circumstances, I decided to leave work early on Sunday, December 7th, to go check on her in person.

My mother was in a significant state of confusion after waking her, unable to tell me and EMTs the year, the town she was in, kind of slurring and disoriented, house in disarray. After rousing her, it was obvious something was very wrong despite her insisting otherwise. After multiple attempts and some tears, we got her to agree to go to HCA Gulf Coast via ambulance. After arriving and running some initial testing, we were told she tested positive for influenza A, and that they were planning on doing a CT scan to rule out any lingering concerns regarding her mental confusion. The initial thought was she laid down with a fever from the flu, hadn’t eaten or gotten any fluids for 3 days, and that was the cause of the grogginess, but they wanted to be certain. Thank God for thorough healthcare providers.

My mom's CT revealed a herniated Chiari malformation that is symptomatic, as well as an unruptured brain aneurysm on her carotid/ophthalmic artery. Both requiring brain surgery. In layman’s terms, what the Chiari malformation means is that the lower part of the brain is pushed down into the opening at the bottom of the skull, where the brain connects to the spinal cord. Think of the skull as a container and the brain as the stuff inside it. Normally, everything fits comfortably. In Chiari malformation, the space is too small. Because of that, part of the brain (called the cerebellar tonsils) slides downward through a hole at the base of the skull. That area is where brain fluid flows in and out, and a number of important nerves pass through. Hence her recent chronic headaches, inability to bend or look down, forgetfulness, and brain fog. The aneurysm, on her carotid, is approximately 6mm in size, which is considered on the larger end of the scale for aneurysms requiring treatment. These will have to be 2 different brain surgeries. The Chiari surgery being the first, scheduled for January 28th. Her aneurysm repair will be 3-4 months after, depending on the progression of recovery from the Chiari surgery. The reasoning being that the aneurysm repair will require post-op blood thinners, and they do not want her on blood thinners prior to repairing the malformation. All of this information came after the CT findings and the decision to transfer her to a neurospecialist and neurosurgeon in Pensacola the following day on Monday, December 8th.

The estimated recovery window for the Chiari surgery is a long road. One I am certain she will conquer with strength, bravery, and grace, as my mother does all things. She will be in the hospital in Pensacola for 3-5 days following surgery. After we get her back home, we’ve been advised she will likely be out of work 4-6 weeks minimum, with little desire to do much other than rest in a dark room. Anticipated symptoms include light sensitivity, severe headaches, stiffness, balance issues, and dizziness, etc. Around 6 months, they say she should begin to experience gradual improvement in symptoms like headaches, dizziness, balance issues, and numbness. Many patients report not feeling “back to normal” until a year to two years post-op. The aneurysm repair, however, they say recovery is a “breeze” and considered minimal in comparison to Chiari recovery. We’re hoping for aneurysm repair around March or April.

She has an amazing job and support tribe behind her. She will qualify for short-term disability and be receiving 60% of her income during the first 6 weeks of recovery. After that, things are a little up in the air and uncertain. One thing that has been made clear is her company is willing to bend over backward for her and has assured her that her job is going nowhere. With that being said, my mom has repeatedly expressed concern for maintaining her bills on 60% of her typical income. Of course, even more concern for after that 6 weeks is up. As many of you know, she is a nurse practitioner who does telehealth from home. She struggles now as it is to be able to look at a computer screen for very long without her head starting to hurt. Those of you that know her well, know she is stubborn. With that being said, she is dead set on returning to work at FOUR weeks and being able to swing her normal 40-hour weeks to stay on track financially. I am hoping for the best, but trying to be prepared in the event it doesn’t work out that way. I would love nothing more than for her to take the time to recover and be in no rush to push herself due to financial stress and concerns. My mom is never one to ask for help, and when I mentioned a GoFundMe to her, of course, she scoffed and said how humiliating asking for help would be. She then went on to say, “how embarrassing will it be if I get $30 donated though?”. To which my response was, “that’s $30 more than you have, and that’s also a very silly reason and fear to let stop you from asking for the help we both know you’ll need.”

She does not know I am creating this fundraiser. But I know that she desperately needs it. I plan on revealing it to her the week before her surgery (Jan 28th). I want her to know going into this that she has a nest egg. That she has something to help bridge the gaps for rent, bills, utilities, copays, out-of-pockets, etc. I want her to know she can take the time for herself that she very truly needs to recover and rest. She always puts herself last, and as her daughter, I NEED her to put herself first for once. It is a very helpless feeling having an 8-month-old baby at home, a 16-week-old on the way, and not being in a financially established enough position to offer her this help myself. However, we do have her close, and I am keeping her “on probation” and forcing her to let me do all the things for her. My brother is also coming to stay with her the week of her surgery, and we will be with her every step of the way for this recovery, sharing shifts.

I’ve never done one of these before, and I truly don’t know what to expect as far as the amount of financial assistance she will end up needing. As I mentioned, long-term recovery has been reported anywhere between 6 months to 2 years before patients can work full-time and begin to feel back to normal. Absolutely any support is so appreciated. Whether that be prayers, monetary, a kind word, a funny meme, or care packages. We are grateful for any and all support. I do ask that you don’t mention this fundraiser until the week of her surgery and I have been able to reveal it to her first. Again, I’ve never done this before, and don’t know what to expect. If I had to guess, I would think anything from $3,000-$5,000 would give her a good cushion to bridge the income gap for the first couple of months. But again, any and all support means the world. Those of you that are close with her, please feel free to share this fundraiser with other close personal friends of hers to help me get this thing circulated prior to January 28th!