Brian's End of Life Support

My dearest village,

I was a bit hesitant in creating this GoFundMe as we already had one for Brian after his accident back in Oct 2020. I feel a bit guilty + wondering is this really nesessary. But, deep down [ in my body + heart ], I need help now.

The previous donations went to Brian's rehabilitation, to his rent + bills, to helping us find our home together. Now, we are at the end of his journey in this realm.

This page is dedicated to his end of life care, to this journey we ride + share.

Even though we were gifted with more than two years of time together after his accident --- time is now fading. Brian is currently showing signs of confusion while swallowing. Speaking with his hospice nurse, Katie, she said that it wouldn't be a bad idea to start the conversation about taking a leave of absence from work.

My goal + desire is to stay present with him, to be by his side, + to care for whatever he needs. To remain fully present with him I desire to do this without the distraction of work. I would like my final gift to my beloved to be my undying presence.

With my WFH full-time job I am able to take 12-24 weeks of Family Medical Leave (FMLA). This is unpaid + with only 3 days of bereavement pay I am in the weeds. This leave will provide job security for me when or if I decide that going back is in alignment.

My goal is set at $10,800. This will cover our needs for 12-24 months as well as end of life costs.

A bit of a backstory on how we got here :

Brian + I went to high school together + met when we were 14. He played the cello. I played the viola. We bonded over his birthday being the day before mine. We were best friends. We started dating senior year of high school. It was our first kiss that I never forgot. He was my high school sweetheart. One of my favorite moments of us was slow dancing at prom, under the stars, on a boat on Lake Tahoe to Brown Eyed Girl. It was magical. We parted ways for about a decade --- adventures took us in different directions but had always stayed a bit in touch over the years. We reconnected + got back together in 2019 realizing our love for each other had never died.

In October 2020 Brian was involved in a tragic + traumatic accident. He was just finishing up a delivery on his bicycle in San Francisco + was struck by a car. He suffered a traumatic brain injury, a stroke, major broken bones in his face + spent much time in the hospital + in rehab.

Things were looking up once he came home but two months later, right after Valentine's Day I noticed a change. He was having difficulty with speech + communication. I knew something was wrong so he went back to the ER per Neurologies recommendation.

I was afraid he was suffering more strokes. I wasn’t prepared for what the Neurologist had to say. They believed that the swelling in Brian's brain, that was causing the speech difficulties, was due to a progression of a disease he was diagnosed with as a child. When Brian was 10 he and his younger brother were diagnosed with Addidson’s Disease or ALD Adrenoleukodystrophy. His younger brother, Kevin, would die just months after the diagnosis. Brian lived much of his adult life not even believing he had this disease. He stopped taking medications + just “lived fast” ( thats a tattoo on his fingers).

ALD can be triggered after a traumatic experience, and it was triggered by the accident. Addison's disease is progressive + the neurologists believe that the progression to end of life would happen over weeks to months. This conversation happened at the end of Feb 2021 + now it is May 2023. We have been blessed with so much time, yet not enough...

We have been in our death portal for a little over 2 years. We have created a beautiful home + death nest together. Brian is nearing the actively dying phase at the age of 35 + as my final gift to him, I want to give him as much of me...

as much of my presence...

my attention..

my care..

my love... all to him.

I feel all he ever wanted was to be loved, to have a home, to have a family embraced with so much heart, care, comfort, love, + security.

All I have ever wanted was him...

Thank you so much for your support. Thank you for reading + your time. We would be so grateful for any shares, donations, love, thoughts, connections, + messages.

If you have Brian's or my phone numbers feel free to send us a voice message or a video. I would love to water Brian's happiness seeds with the abundance of family + friends sharing their favorite moments + memories they have had with him.

A wish for my love...

My wish is that for all the mornings you awake

You open your eyes + I am by your side.

And for every time you close your eyes to rest

It is my eyes that whisper I love you...

Infinite blessings from our family to yours, Rachael + Brian