Ruben bravely entered a sparring session with Master Oogway, confidently believing he had a chance. Unfortunately, Master Oogway had other plans, ancient wisdom, and what can only be described as too much experience. Ruben was decisively defeated in a manner that historians would later describe as “ill-advised matchmaking.”

Following the sparring session, Ruben endured mockery that was almost as brutal as the sparring itself. Between the blows, the jokes, and the emotional damage, Ruben’s brain decided it had had enough and temporarily stopped operating at full capacity.

As a result, Ruben now requires significant help to recover — including medical care, rest, reassurance, and people reminding him that sparring a centuries-old martial arts master was not his fault. He will also benefit from snacks, encouragement, and strict instructions never to fight a turtle again.

With the right support, patience, and a long break from sparring legends, Ruben is expected to recover and maybe stick to less dangerous hobbies — like chess.