Breathing room for Dylan after caring for a dying parent

Hello friends,

My name is Rosalind and this crowdfunder is for my dear friend Dylan.

I met Dylan through twitter during the pandemic and was extremely touched to get to know him. He is a poet, an intellectual, a sensitive and feeling, intelligent person. And for as long as I have known him, he was caring for his dying father, the only person doing so in the harsh and uncaring landscape of the american bureaucracies.

His father died on January the 18th 2025, and it moves me very much to say that he was so sincerely loved by Dylan. He might not have deserved it, even, but he was— cared for and loved until death and beyond. I visited them last year and saw for myself.

Dylan is mid twenties, his mother died at 18 and he is the only child of his parents. Seeing each one through their early deaths is a heavy burden so early in life that only a few people will really understand. I don't truly understand what he has been through myself.

His parents succumbed to the financial traps of the united states and left him ONLY debts and piles of bureaucratic paperwork. I am not exaggerating!! It has shocked me!

For the last five years and more he has put aside his own needs, his own wages, his own life, to serve his father's transition. There was no village to help him; he did it alone. Supporting him financially, emotionally, practically, physically. Dylan, I bow down to your patience and love. You have been the adult when others were just out doing random "im in my twenties" stuff.

I am watching with awe this human being grieve, shake himself down, not avoid the pain of loss, but now look up, take a deep breath, and step forward into an unfamiliar life of autonomy and freedom that he has had to postpone, while peers were out exploring the world.

Throughout the pandemic years these friendships became very close online and in December 2023 we sponsored Dylan to come to our yoga retreat gathering in Mexico for a week, honouring that all his resources were going toward his father. We got to meet in person and i tell you he is the real deal, a rare sincere human being, stepping lightly in the footsteps of the poets such as his beloved Walt Whitman.

Now I want to call on anyone who knows him to support him to fly high... literally down to New zealand, to be able to be cared for himself in the company of good friends. As we all deserve. I feel he is my spiritual brother, he is not without family in the world, but its important to be able to actually hug in this time, share a meal, all of that.

If, like me, you feel moved by a life of so many sacrifices so young, please contribute what you can to launch a new phase of life for my dear friend.

I told him I would like to do this crowdfunder, and he was concerned people would think he was a lazy scab (there's that american bootstraps philosophical programming) so let me tell you he is a very hard worker, has a grand degree from Dartmouth, has life competence, and I know i will watch him do great things in the world now that his family duties are completed.

This fundraiser aims to just get a little breathing room, to fly down here, be embraced by friends, and live off for the next few months.

If you have ever been helped out by family, please consider sharing a little of it with someone who deserves such material help, but has not been given any. But who gave and gave and gave anyway.

Just as mothering should be recognised as a real job, caring for our elderly and dying should be recognised as a real job... well perhaps here we can recognise it.

And however this turns out, thank you Dylan, for who you are... and for your dedication to being a feeling and loving person in a not-very-caring world.