Hello everyone. I don’t normally do things like this, but considering the 2+ year battle I’ve already fought and more I’ll have to do, I have to do what I can for my family. For those that don’t know me, my name is Darlene (Dee) Kahler and I have been battling Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Her2+ breast cancer since Oct 2023. I was 38 years old when I was diagnosed. Prior to my diagnosis, I had to fight for 11 months for anyone to take my concerns seriously- I was too young to get a referral for a mammogram (I wasn’t 40 yet) and had no known family history of breast cancer, so my cancer spread for a year before I was finally diagnosed. The cost of care, treatments, medications, copays, and travel in addition to supporting my family as the breadwinner has reached a point that I can no longer afford to keep afloat while continuing to fight this disease!

My treatment journey started out on the TCHP regimen which is a double chemo and immunotherapy treatment. I became so sick that I needed help to care for my son (I was a single mom), and I couldn’t eat or stand to be around food (but my son needed to eat), and I couldn’t walk from the neuropathy. My hands and feet burned so badly that I needed help for even basic tasks. I had to leave my apartment because I could no longer do the stairs as I had made it to a wheelchair. I felt like I had lost everything. My independence, my apart, joy. Life became painful, sick, and very difficult to function. Shortly after, I had a mastectomy which I thought I was prepared for, but I don’t think anyone can prepare for that. The depression I had I tried to hide, but it was known. I was still only 38 and I lost a part of my femininity (or that’s how I felt at the time). Next came the radiation, and the burns were severe! It scared my kids. All of this has taken a toll on my children. I tried so hard to keep things positive despite my setbacks, pain, and struggles. Afterwards, I was told I was in the clear and we celebrated! Two weeks later I learned it was micrometastic. The proof was in the removed lymph nodes.

Next came the TDM1 treatment which is another chemo and an immunotherapy drug. The neuropathy got so painful I had to stop after four rounds. They then put me on Kadcyla and after four really bad reactions to my kidneys and heart, we had to stop that too. I finished the Phesgo rounds (I think there were 18 or 19) and the joint pain was pretty rough, but I got through it, and they added Tamoxifen to the regimen. It’s as toxic as it sounds- imagine trigger fingers with every finger, wrist, and even shoulders accompanied by cramps that lock those joints and muscles in place with Charlie horse pains that followed. This happens several times a day, every day. I cant sleep, am always running hot, and the side effects are just too much to list. Painful is the light way of putting it. Because of how disruptive that has been, I have to stop that too. Along the way I have learned of a pinched nerve in my C4 and C5 vertebrae that has rendered my right dominant hand basically useless- the hand and half my arm is numb, and I’ve lost 70% strength in the arm. Despite everything, I keep working and pushing through. My kids depend on me to keep going. Soon I’ll be having my ovaries removed since the drugs just won’t work without causing major disruptions and pains for my body to function. Treatments are on hold pending my appt this week.

Unfortunately, this is considered a pre-existing condition so I won’t be able to go on disability for the surgery, and since I was recently transferred from MA to NY for my job, I no longer qualify for FMLA until Ive earned enough income in NY to meet their guidelines. I don’t have the time to cover my time out for the surgery and recovery, and every penny I had in savings has depleted for my treatments. I cant afford to not have my ovaries out as estrogen helps feed my cancer, but at the same time, I can’t afford it right now either. Hence the need for a gofundme.

A little about my family- I have one son, and am helping raise two other children as well. One whose father passed away last Nov and her family needed help, and another whom I’ve helped raised for 14 years, but isn’t legally mine. My little family has gone through terrible ups and downs and lately, it’s been one struggle after another. My only working car is broken with a major oil leak somewhere and I can’t afford to fix it, my oil heater stopped working in the house so we have been trying to get wood for the winter, and I dont have the means to cover those expenses let alone my medical issues, and I need help. The local pantry has tried to help where they can. I make too much for assistance, but my family is drowning as I try to fight for my life.

I have been known to help many many people despite my own struggles throughout the years, and continue to with the kids because no kid should be without a home. My goal is to beat this, and live to see my youngest graduate (he is now 12). I just cant financially afford to take more time off unpaid for this next surgery. Everyone who knows me knows my house has always been a safe place if you needed one. No questions asked. Ive always been the type of person to give you my short before you even asked. But now I need to ask for help. I cant take this next step without the means to cover my medical expenses and necessary time off for recovery. My choices are either to not do the surgery and risk greater spread, or do the surgery and risk losing everything Ive worked so hard for to maintain the stability of my children. I cant help but tear up just typing this!

I know everyone is struggling right now, but if you are able to donate, send prayers, or even share this my family would be forever grateful! The funds would go towards copays, the hospital stay, and living expenses for those 4-6 weeks Id be out of work. Im tired but not ready to give up! My kids need me, so I plead with you to help me help keep my family afloat as we navigate this next chapter of this fight. We appreciate anything you can give including your prayers. Thank you so much!