Help Us Heal: Escaping Domestic Violence & Coercive Control

MY STORY

Hello, my name is April, and I am a survivor of domestic violence with a man what felt like an eternity I endured extreme fear, coercive control, and violence that nearly cost me my life twice.

I was manipulated by someone who initially love-bombed me, promising me the world and telling me everything I wanted to hear.

But instead, I found myself living in constant fear-for my life and my 3-year-old daughter's life.

(Before you read ahead I just want to make it absolutely clear that this is not about or directed at Violet’s real dad. He has no connection to the events described here and has always been a separate part of Violet’s life. This story is solely about my experience with an abuser who came into our lives later and caused unimaginable harm)

THE INCIDENT:

(Trigger Warning: Severe Violence, Assault, and Abuse)

The turning point came on Saturday, November 30, 2024—a day that still feels like something out of a horror movie. A grown man five times my size had just strangled me until I nearly blacked out. As I tried to run for my life, screaming for help and heading toward a neighbour’s house, he dragged me by my hair down a gravel driveway. Once back inside, he beat me and smashed my head into the laundry basin. He ripped all my clothes off, threw me into the shower, and screamed at me to "clean myself up," slapping me in the face every time I blacked out from the concussion.

After what felt like an eternity, he threw me into the bedroom, shoved me into the wardrobe, and grabbed the thing I feared most-his shotgun. (He had threatened me with it before.) In that moment, all I could do was beg for my mum. That's all I wanted—my mum. He pointed the shotgun at me and told me l would never see my children again. I truly believed it was the end. I thought, This is it.

I'm going to die, and there's nothing I can do.

But then he turned the gun on himself. For FIVE agonising hours, I begged and pleaded with him not to pull the trigger. Eventually, I talked him down. That night, I knew I had to escape. Over the next week, I carefully planned how to get myself and my daughter out safely.

THE ABUSER & COERCIVE CONTROL:

My abuser controlled every aspect of my life. I wasn't allowed to sleep in my daughter's room or even read her a bedtime story. I was forced to sleep in his bed, and refusing would result in his explosive anger.

He isolated me from my friends and family, turning them against me with lies. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone, leave the house, or attend counseling. He used my daughter as leverage, knowing I would do anything to protect her. My daughter, Violet, became my only sense of security-he wouldn't escalate to the same extremes when she was present.

THE AFTERMATH:

Since escaping, l've felt like a completely different person-physically, mentally, and emotionally. I believe I suffered a serious head injury during one of the assaults, and the symptoms are terrifying. I've been struggling with memory loss, difficulty forming sentences, and even completing simple tasks. l've also started fainting unexpectedly, and the migraines are unbearable. My mental health has taken a massive hit as well. I'm battling severe depression and anxiety, and the trauma has left me feeling paralysed in many areas of my life.

Attached are photos of my injuries;

OUR CURRENT SITUATION & HOW YOU CAN HELP: Any help-no matter how small-will make a huge difference in helping us find safety and begin to heal.

HOW THE FUNDS WILL BE USED:

• Medical Care: Covering treatments for my head injuries, including scans, specialist appointments, and therapy for memory loss and severe migraines.

• Mental Health Support: Accessing counselling and therapy to process the trauma and address severe anxiety and depression.

• Transportation Costs: Covering fuel, taxis, or public transport for medical appointments, legal proceedings, and housing searches.

• Storage: Renting a unit to protect the few belongings I have left while we rebuild.

• Replacing Essentials: Replacing lost items such as clothes, furniture, and toiletries.

RAISING AWARENESS:

This isn't just about survival-it's about shining a light on the devastating reality of domestic violence. Too many people feel trapped and powerless in abusive relationships. I want them to know there is hope and that they're not alone.

Thank you for reading my story and for helping me and Violet rebuild our lives.

With gratitude,

April.