Breaking Free from Benzo Addiction. Fund Healing Journey

I never thought I’d find myself dreaming of a little orange pill more than I dream about pitching my next story, but that’s where I’m at. I’ve been struggling with Covid vaccine insomnia for 4 years now and dependence on a benzodiazepine to get some kind of sleep. The pill no longer works for sleep, but it does numb all my senses, connection to community, God and all my creative ideas that make life worth living.

A character from White Lotus is flippantly popping benzos like they’re candy but this pill is no joke. It causes memory loss, dementia, and stunts curiosity and the learning of new information.

I am disconnected from myself, my family and it keeps getting worse. I never knew depression could get this dark. I make it to the grocery store and pass the days on a small little corner of my couch thinking of nothing—because that’s what the benzo (Klonopin) does in addition to depressing my central nervous system.

My life is one endless flat line. No joy. No silliness. No motivation. I’ve lost my way. I tried to taper myself but am addicted and need help.

I’ve found a rehab that will medically detox me off the medication and support the emotional process of letting go of that dependence. These funds will go directly to that facility. They will scholarship me part of the way but I need to make up the difference so I stay long enough to detox, recover and start to feel alive again - both the pleasure and the pain.

I aim to spread my gift of story with the world so that it may give someone pause before taking a benzo.

It’s worth noting that the sparkle in my eyes and beaming grin in the photo have not been present for years. The goal is to get that back.

Thank you for considering a contribution.