New Car, New Life

On November 14, 2019, I was driving to work when a car pulled out from  parking lot less than 25 feet in front of me. I swerved to avoid hitting them, and ended up colliding head on with a telephone pole traveling at about 45 miles per hour. The damage to my car was so extensive, firefighters had to be called to cut me out of my car. From talking to both myself and witnesses, it was determined that the accident was not my fault and there was nothing I could have done to avoid it. It was either swerve to avoid the car, or hit it. With how damaged my car was, it is no exaggeration to say that the other driver could have been killed by the impact had I not swerved to avoid impact. I was taken to the hospital where it was determined that, thankfully, nothing was broken, I was just bruised, sore, and had cuts to various parts of my body. 

My car, on the other hand, was totaled. I am trying to recover some money from insurance under uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage (the other car did not stop), but it will not be much, as my car was 21 years old. I cannot function in my area without a car. Public transit is almost non-existent, and I travel 2 hours round trip twice a week to bring my disabled son to therapies he desperately needs. I need a functioning car. I’m not looking for a brand new car - just a car that runs pretty well, can handle traveling about 200 miles per week, and will last at least a few years. I will also have at least some medical bills, although I am unsure of what they will be at this point, as my insurance is still processing what it will pay and what I will have to pay. (Because it was a car accident, all medical bills have to go through my car insurance first, and then my health insurance.) I am also still in pain from the accident and will need additional treatment, and I am in the process of finding a doctor who will treat me, as my primary care physician has refused on the grounds of “we don’t treat car accidents”. This will likely incur additional expenses, although, again, I am currently unsure what they will be.

43874338_1575504226943757_r.jpegMy car. The door is on what is left of the hood because it had to be cut off the car so EMTs could get me out.

43874338_1575503210908805_r.jpegThe telephone pole I hit. It was cracked like this over halfway up the pole.

43874338_1575503298271708_r.jpegHow far back the pole I hit was pushed back from the impact of my car.

However, as scary and horrible as all of this was, one good thing that did come from this was the realization that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my partner, Em. When Em heard I had been in the accident, they immediately dropped everything, got on a bus, and came down to take care of me. I already knew they were kind, loving, and caring, but seeing and experiencing first-hand how much they loved and cared for me at my most vulnerable cemented what I knew - I never wanted them anywhere but next to me, for the rest of my life, and on 1 December 2019, I asked them to marry me. They said yes.

43874338_1575503379755227_r.jpegEm liked it so much, they put a ring on it.

Some people have asked how they can help us start our new life together, so we are combining fundraisers. Money from this fundraiser will not only go to buy a car, but buy random things that I don’t have from 11 years of living as the only adult in the household, as well as going towards moving and increased household expenses until Em finds a job in my area.

I thank everyone for their support through everything. It has meant the world to me.

I can also accept Venmo, CashApp, and Bitcoin. Please message me privately for those accounts.


  • Anonymous 
    • $25 
    • 3 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $20 
    • 3 mos
  • JPat Brown 
    • $50 
    • 3 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $25 
    • 4 mos
  • Nathaniel Taintor 
    • $25 
    • 6 mos
See all


Brazen Queer 
Chicago, IL
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