Hi my name is Mary Helen and yes, that title is a quote from my Mommy Dearest to me on the occasion of getting my first pair of glasses at age ten. It was her, oft repeated, albeit messed up version of the two line Dorothy Parker poem entitled News Item:

Men seldom make passes

At girls who wear glasses.

It all began when I was born with Strabismus meaning my eyes were not aligned, instead, they both turned outward. My pediatrician referred me to a pediatric ophthalmologist who informed my parents that I should have surgery by the time I turned two.

To quote an article by Columbia University, Irving Medical Center:

But make no mistake—strabismus is not just a cosmetic problem or something your child will just simply grow out of.

Strabismus can lead to permanent vision problems, such as double vision, problems with depth perception, or amblyopia (potentially leading to permanently decreased vision an eye).

That would be the right eye in my case.

I went back to that doctor shortly before I started Kindergarten. He instructed my father in performing some eye strengthening exercises. Daddy and I did those exercises for quite some time but I never returned to that doctor. Fast forward to age ten when my teacher moved us students around the room each week and when I was seated at the back of the room my teacher noticed a decline in my work and saw me squinting. The school did a basic vision test and told my parents I should be seen by an eye doctor because I probably needed glasses.

My original doctor had retired by then but my parents had the good sense to take me to a comprehensive surgical ophthalmologist rather than to an optometrist. Once the initial exam was done we were told that the previously recommended surgery to treat the strabismus should be performed to prevent further damage. He explained that I had developed astigmatism and I was now nearsighted. PubMed states:

Astigmatic refractive errors may develop late in the visual maturity period of strabismic children. The best response is serial refractions and appropriate correction of all strabismus patients during the visual maturity period.

Within a couple of weeks I received my first pair of glasses and when I came home with them was when my mother first expressed her rendition of Dorothy Parker’s poem in sing-song fashion, quite similar to the cadence a bully might use on the playground. Thus began the need for me to wear glasses all day, every day for the rest of my life— or would it? Of course, I have been terribly non compliant, removing them every chance I got, even in the photo that accompanies this plea. I had the surgery the summer between 6th and 7th grade just as I left elementary school and started Junior High. Eye surgery was not laser assisted like it is now. I was in the hospital for four days and the outer whites of my eyes appeared to be bloodied for almost a year. But the surgery was a success. My eyes could now look forward, together!

Removing my spectacles every chance I got is not the only reason we can question me wearing glasses every day for the rest of my life… the group of doctors I see conducted the tests yesterday from which they concluded I now have cataracts that are of a size that should be removed. This outpatient laser surgery provides a lens that would correct my vision AND astigmatism!!!

Getting scheduled must occur within 90 days or the battery of tests will have to be repeated to restart the process. My insurance would require a year wait. In order to get the surgery scheduled I have to pay for it. My husband and I have each faced multiple health challenges in these past several years. I’m now on disability and he receives social security. All savings have been decimated, all valuables have been sold, and the necessity to rely on credit we couldn’t really afford in order to get by has left us both with shameful credit ratings. Therefore the financing provider the ophthalmologist practice partners with turned us down.

The medical problems we have encountered have been treated quite successfully. I am immensely grateful for the pain we have been spared but, of course, all of that is costly hence our dire straits. My husband’s health has improved to where he has returned to the part time job he had before and I feel like I am ready to try to do some part time work myself but we’ll see.

The money donated will be used to restore health to my eyes by removing the cataracts and the opportunity I didn’t know I could live to see: seeing the world properly through my own eyes! Any support you can offer would be greatly appreciated. If you are unable to contribute please consider sharing this with your friends and family. On social media, via texts, or email. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.