I am often a person of many words. Too many on most occasions. I am challenged to find them in this moment.

I need help and I’m embarrassed to ask for it. But ask, I am.

Many years ago I succumbed to my insecurities and dress proportions at Bebe and got fake boobs. I won’t lie and say they didn’t make me feel better. They did. Like, a lot. I waited over forty years for them to come in on their own. I was assured I was a late bloomer. Turns out I was a dud. Or so I had been taught by years of media and unkind teenage and not so teenage peers.

Itty Bitty Titty Commity party of me.

Here I am many years later and despite how good they may look on the outside. I mean, I had a really good surgeon.

I don’t feel so great.

Physically. At all.

I’ve worked on my inner self and the woman I am now knows I don’t need them and more importantly that they are harming me. Slowly but surely leeching silicone into my cells. (I know. Gross.) All while my body depletes itself fighting to defend itself from the intruders.

It seems I can feel it at times.

Then I’m certain I can by the way my hair thins, my chronic fatigue that’s not just aging, that stabbing pain out of nowhere that causes me to grab my…heart, and take a breath to let it pass, the brain fog that makes me forget everything and honestly, it’s kinda hard to breathe. I’ve been struggling the past few years simply not feeling like myself blaming age and a more sedentary lifestyle.

I can’t do this to myself anymore.

I won’t lie and say I want them out. It’s going to be very difficult to go back to the very beginning of the alphabet (36AA gets a look at Vickie’s Secret) and I know it’s necessary in every way. My belief system has changed and my understanding of who I am and what’s important has too. And I’d really love to have my body back so I can feel better and more ready for what life is bringing me next. Whatever that may be.

So here I am, asking for your help. Humbled and a little ashamed in my vanity and position in life to need the assistance, I ask anyway. Hoping this will slow me to continue to help others more easily, as is my purpose here.

In the same breath that I ask, I also say thank you, which is not sufficient, for any donation you make. It will be a longish recovery, especially to be able to go back to my work, it being rather physically demanding. I’ve made allowance for that in the amount I’m requesting.

With so much gratitude,

Kerry

Love you. Miss you. Mean it.

✨✨

-some photos from before to prepare myself