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My husband Robert is honestly the most faithful and grateful man that I have ever known and many people who have known him and watched his life have been in agreement with me. I don't think that I, our children, or any of our family or friends would have been the same if we did not have his impact, his example and his love in our lives.
The front page photo is just prior to February 20, 2014 at a very happy time for our family and we were at the Mesquite Rodeo enjoying our days. The photo above is a facebook pic that our eldest daughter Emily posted with the caption "I make Daddy hold my hand." the reason for this caption was that her Daddy was in a coma in the ICU and she was expressing her confidence in him to pull through because he always held her hand through her difficult times. He taught her well!
Robert was born with Spina Bifida and with an iron will. Determined to walk and maintain a healthy and independent spirit and with the help of his Mom and Dad he was able to walk at the age of three. He spent all his summers between school having orthopedic surgeries to give him better outcomes and his family shared with me that he seldom complained or got downhearted. Robert and I met in March 1983 and immediately knew that we were to be married. He made sure I understood all that life with him would entail and I was sure God had meant for us to spend life together so we wed in June of that year. We began a journey that has been amazing and miraculous many ways and many days.
After 12 years of marriage Robert and I were called to move to Iowa and quickly found out the reason...We were blessed to adopt three sibling children, Emily age 6, Kenny age 3 and Elisabeth our newborn. We were bound and determined to give these three angels a forever home. In 1998 after moving back to Ft Worth we were blessed to buy our children their home. The home in which we raised them and the home in which we hoped to always have for them to come to. We worked hard to make the home happy, comfortable and also accessible as Robert was becoming more wheelchair bound. During part of our initial rehab Robert sustained a foot wound that while appearing to be minimal was actually causing devastating underlying health problems that were not evidenced for two years. As a result of that wound Robert developed a unique condition that affected his immune system. The physical manifestation that came about from this condition was a weight gain of 200+ lbs over 18 months and Robert was essentially immobile at 465Lbs. He spent most of that 18 months in the hospital every 6 weeks for three weeks at a time on IV antibiotics and anti fungals. Finally in 2001 we were blessed with a miracle as an infectious disease physician found that Robert had a fungus that had travelled up from that initial foot wound to wrap around his ankle. Once discovered and the area was all cleaned out Robert began to get back in better health and began to lose weight and gain movement. With help he slowly began to stand and walk with a walker. However, his right leg never decreased in size. His leg was 40 inches at the calf and required one of us to be with him to help his lift his leg to get in out of bed or chair. Walking was difficult but nothing could get Robert down. For several years Robert worked hard to get his weight down and tried many treatments to keep the size of his leg down and he came prayerfully to the decision that he must have an amputation of his "oversized appendage" as he would call it. I think he must have prayed about it for months to a year before approaching me with the thought. He spoke to me calmly and assuredly that this was the decision that gave him peace and would restore life to him as he NEVER wanted to be a burden. Having been a Rehab RN for nearly 7 years I was not quite in agreement with him paticularly with his weight and size and my greatest fear was that I could not help him stay at home and he would require nursing home care. We prayed about this decision together for sometime and God showed me that this would bring Robert and all of us great relief. Robert was well prepared and we were set for an extended rehab stay. Robert had to be able to return home so faithfully we went forward. Surgery was on Dec 11, 2007. The surgeon gave Robert hope and removed his 100+ lb lower leg just above the knee. He was transferred to rehab on Dec 13 and determined NOT to spend Christmans away from our home and family he was graduated from therapy and got to come home Christmas eve. I was hardly believing yet so overjoyed at his tremendous success. There is very little that Robert and God can't accomplish.
Robert was set free with the amputation and once again Robert was in his element, active and independent. However there was one concern... The excessive size and weight of his leg put a strain on a previous surgical wound and over several years he had developed a rather large abdominal hernia. In 2010 that hernia ruptured and incarcerated his colon and after emergency surgery he was left with half of the 26 feet of intestine that we normally have. Additionally there was a suspect need to start dialysis because that trauma had acutely affected Roberts kidneys and he was in acute failure. Robert prayed and asked God to relieve him of that need. God gave him peace and he declined dialysis. His kidneys recovered. He required an extensive hospitalization stay and with medical bills mounting we began to get behind in our mortgage payments. We were sending partial payments as our debt was growing and attempted a loan modification but were never processed due to errors in transitions as the mtg co. was sold. Over two years we were challenged by the mtg co to allow us to get caught up but finally, prayerfully in 2012 filed for bankruptcy to save our home from foreclosure. With only 4 years remaining to payoff our home we believed with all our heart we were in the home stretch and once the house was paid off we would be able to continue with the repairs that had been in need of completion for years. For the next two years we managed to keep the payments made on the mortgage and to the bankruptcy and although it was a very big challenge we were fairly successful. We had not realized we had not yet seen our greatest challenge.
On February 20, 2014 Robert was outside trimming the hedges of our front yard and felt a terrible pain in his abdomen and called me on the phone to say he thought he had ruptured the his intestine and needed me to come home. An ambulance took him to the hospital and the diagnosis was correct so he was rushed to emergency surgery to save his life. Before he was taken to surgery through unimagineable pain he said that he believed that God wanted him to meet his soon to be arriving grandson and he would see me in the morning. Sadly that was not the case. The surgery was 5 hours long and it was successful to complete the repair to the intestine but his life was in the balance. To provide his respiratory system a better chance of recovery Robert would remain on the ventilator and go to the ICU. He was critically ill. He was septic and the prognosis was that he could go into multi-organ failure. Dialysis would begin the next day. I have been a Registered nurse for 23 years and have seen many people on a ventiator and with all the lines necessary to maintain life but when I saw Robert that night I was physically in pain. It took my breath away.
The book of James in the Bible has always been one of my favorite and one scripture particularly stood on.
James 1: 2-5
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[ whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Immediately war began. Prayer warriors contacted and the battle for his life was on....And our life has forever changed.
So many of you kept watch and fervently prayed Robert through the critical weeks and steadfastly believed month by month for his recovery and total healing and after 9 long months in the hospital gratefully he was able to return back to our home. For this and for you we are eternally grateful. His persistant faith and constant gratitude for every single day he is on this earth and determination that God has given him things to do and he is going to do them kept him joyful and faith-filled when faced with bad reports. Robert did sustain severe kidney failure and has remained on dialysis which we are blessed he recieves at home. What came out of this terrible tragedy for Robert and our family is truly the peace that passes understanding, the thankful heart that David speaks of in Psalm 50, and true knowledge that God has every aspect of our lives completely under control and what we give back to Him is always best for us. And to add to that we were to know true love of the body of Christ.
In September of last year I was forced to leave my employment to care for Robert throughout the remainder of the year and since March of this year have worked 28 hours a week. We had taken out half of my 401K to live on. I am currently in a situation where I can only work in the PM as I must help Robert to get up and prepare for his dialysis at home three days a week and the other two days are usually doctor visits. While he is better he continues to have health challenges and I must continue to be there for him. We are attemting to sell our land behind our home to pay off the mortgage and the bankruptcy and we are believing for that. While we are paying on the bankruptcy we are struggling to pay our mortgage but thankfully they are working with us until the land is sold.
Few people know the entire story nor have we shared our difficult challenges. We have been blessed many times with loving gifts that have pulled us through but we are in need of a financial miracle and believing it to occur in order to keep our home and make needed repairs for Robert's safety there. While we are fully aware that we might lose our home and if God allows it we will be ok my children and I love Robert with all our hearts. His greatest joy is to be home and our greatest desire is to do what we can to help us keep it. God put in on my heart. And while I know that there is little that one could do there is a great deal that many pulling together could do to help us. Please allow me to share our story and please consider praying for us, sharing our need to others, and if possible consider helping us with a donation to help us recover from our very difficult situation. With love for Robert and with our love to you...God Bless you mightily!