Birthday Request from and for me. XOXO.

Hello dear friends. Not many of you know this, but last year after 8 months of progressive hip, leg and back pain, and seeking a solution via chiropractors without any results (I thought it stemmed from a couple of disc injuries), I admitted myself to Northern Arizona Healthcare's Flagstaff Medical Center in early October. I was diagnosed with advanced stage metastatic prostate cancer that had moved widely and wildly to my bones, most troublesome, to my left hip, pelvis and spine. I had emergency surgery for a partial hip replacement, hemiarthhroplasty, because the cancer was eating away at my hip socket, hence the excruciating leg pain. I was there two weeks. I had to quit my job to recover, I lost my housing, and moved to Oklahoma at the invite of my dear friend Teri James, and am under the care of Oklahoma Cancer Specialists and Research Center of Tulsa, one of the finest treatment and research centers in the country.

Bone cancer is incurable, I will die from this or complications from it, I have accepted this, I cannot work, I am slow, I couldn't win a race with a crawling baby. I am officially under palliative care which is meant to manage my pain and other symptoms as they arise, shrink my tumors, and stop the cancer from growing, to help me live with the cancer. In preparation for end of life, I have willed my body to Oklahoma State University Health Sciences Program. They will pay for all of my expenses upon passing, eventually returning my ashes to my closest friends once they are done with me. I am such the bargain hunter, plus I consider it my last good deed.

I am in a good space right now, my treatments over the last 4 months are working, I am comfortable enough, none of my vital organs have been affected, I may be headed for what they call a treatment holiday. My birthday is coming up. I want to take a road trip, my favorite thing to do, to the Grand Canyon, Phoenix, Las Cruces, to visit folks, I've had a few very low depressing days recently, cancer is such a mind-f**k, I need to feel renewed for the sake of my mental health. Right now, I am simply existing, I need more to stimulate my happy genes. My only income is social security, I rarely have any extra to save. If you can help, please do. I love you! James.