Let me begin with this: it’s difficult for me to ask for help. I usually wait until I am on my last leg. But in these times, that seems a bit ridiculous, not to mention dangerous. This series of financial challenges and setbacks began about a year ago when my car caught fire in the Mojave National Preserve. But I was able to see my way through that. I’m a pretty disciplined financial planner, and that has proven crucial. But I have had roughly $35k cash sail out of my bank account over the past couple of months for emergency repairs (new HVAC, in midst of a heat wave, then a new electrical system, then plumbing). I‘ve been working my ass off—I did a webinar and have been teaching three creative writing workshops at the same time (in the midst of being ill)—and I’ve been selling furniture and household goods. I’m currently organizing my jewelry and beads and handbag collections to be sold. Darling Daughter has put her things in storage and moved into my guest room here in the desert so that we can put the Hollywood Hills condo that she has called home for the past five years on the market.
I don’t want to alarm anyone. I’m not on the brink of homelessness. But I am cutting costs by letting some things (like therapy) slide. And that’s starting to worry me. My usual go-to consulting gigs for cash have all dried up. After my property goes through escrow and closes, I should be fairly ok. And I’m writing a book proposal that will probably sell, as well as freelancing. But whatever money comes from any of that could be weeks or months away. And one more emergency or unforeseen expense could really be the thing that does me in.
Facebook often encourages people to set up a Birthday fundraiser. I got a reminder about this and made a snide remark to a friend that I need a fundraiser my damn self because I’m holding my breath, with fingers crossed for my property to sell at top dollar, and I am writing my ass off in hopes of securing a decent book deal. My friend said, “do a Go Fund Me.” I wasn’t keen on the idea at first but after two more friends explained that it was me attaching shame, issues of self-worth and feelings of failure to it, I decided to go ahead and do it. Anybody who would think less of me because I’m having a cash flow problem and need help building a financial bridge probably never thought well of me to begin with.
So that is my wish for this, my 53rd birthday [September 13th]: some much-needed financial peace of mind.
If you can manage a gift of $50, $100, $150 or more, I would be so grateful.
Thank you.
Nana-Ama