I wasnt sure how to ask anyone for this, It hard enough to write about your friends mother's passing, but I know for Heather this IS so much harder….I felt it was the least I could do to help her tell her story ….I apologize for any spelling errors or bad communication on my part. I am not a writer, I'm just a friend.
7 years ago…I remember her saying, “she has the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s disease”
That’s when her life changed and within 2 years her mother came to live with her for full time care.
At that point, my friend Heather’s life became…what I like to call….”repurposed”!! Not burdened or inconvenienced.
From the moment her mother moved in, it was a decline in her mother’s memory and health that lasted 3 years. It not only led to a 24/7 caretaker job that she was not fully and financially prepared for…. it also lead to several kitchen fire, calls to the police (run away mother reports and her thinking she was lost or kidnapped), and various types of accidents all over the house. Heather officially becoming a live in nurse, nanny, daughter, mother, and her provider. With no other local relatives or family, Heather was unable to work because there was no way to leave Mary alone. Putting her mother as first priority, Heather lost her job, and eventually lost her house to forclosure…. and now she’s only days away from losing her mother.
Her mother, Mary Black Munro or “Wee Mary Black” as they called her, was born in Glasgow, Scotland, July 13, 1931 (she's 2 days away from her 83rd B-day) She adventured to America on the Queen Mary. A spirited woman, that you could only wish to have known…. She could tell a story, a good joke, and her eyes were always beaming with laughter. She had that fairy tale accent that I loved… a real strong Scottish brogue…. a tiny petite frame with striking brown eyes…and she was the life of the party around peers or children a like!
Her final year before going into the nursing home, she expressed her desire to return to her birth country of Scotland one last time to say good-bye to relatives and enjoy her birthplace one last time before her memory vanished forever. Heather made that wish happen and put together everything she had to take her mother on the adverture of her lifetime. Upon returning Mary's memory faded so fast and Heathers brother soon passed away unexpectedly after thier return. I remember Heather crying to me and telling me that her mother would cry at get angry at herself because she was completly aware of her memories and responses diminishing. And due to Mary's delicate state, Heather never informed her of her own son, Ken's, passing.
Now in a State Nursing Facility, It’s been a rough year to say the least. This week they moved Mary to Hospice. She has stopped eating and her blood pressure is an extreme low. Today she has not opened her eyes and stopped breathing several times. It’s a matter of days now…maybe hours.
Heather told me she made a vow to Wee Mary Black’s for her to be cremated and returned to her home country where her husband had his ashes spread in 1992 on [Ben Lomond]. With a hard economy and limited time, Heather has not been able to find work and stays with her mother most days in the nursing home. I cannot image that anyone should ever have to prioritize one of these things above the other!?? The cremation is $1200-$2000, which Heather does not have. She was going to sell some of her things to raise money but unfortunately Im afraid that there isn't enough time.
This is love, dedication, and commitment. No amount of money replaces your mother or the moments you have left. Please help us raise enough to cremate Mary. I want to help contribute to the final wish she deserves and hopefully take some of the stress and pain off of Heather's already grieving heart.
Even if you cannot finacially help...please share!
Thank you for reading and allowing me to talk about Wee Mary Black!
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