- V
- G
- A
Well heres the summary. In the last 13 months Ive been through a painful divorce following an affair, I found my only brother after he commited suicide, I watched my dogs head get run over by a schoolbus, lost 2 jobs for reasons I couldnt control, my fiance flipped our only vehicle and broke his back and sternum and 3 days after that the house flooded. We barely eacaped with our lives and the house is completely destroyed. Dont have insurance because of all the setbacks, I just couldnt get back on my feet.
I set up a venmo account to avoid go fund me fees.
And this is my story...
Yup. We need help. No one likes asking for help, I am especially bad about it. Just ask any of my prior coworkers. So obviously I am struggling with this. Its not a pride thing, Im ok admitting my faults and imperfections or when I make mistakes, which I do often. I appreciate being humbled. I struggle with this because I ask myself, why am I deserving of help? Yes, Ive had a streak of bad luck but there are still plenty of people who are in worse situations that I am. There are children with terminal diseases, there are families with missing family members, families deprived of everything due to natural disasters and in reality our situation really could still be or get worse. (Yeah I wrote that before the flood)
However as time passes I am noticing the list of ways it could be worse is getting smaller and I am crossing things off that list as they happen. Ive come to the conclusion that I am cursed, that I emit this aura of bad luck Ive affectionately termed the 'Amber Aura'.
Still though, what makes me deserving of help? After consideeable reflection Ive decided that its not that I am necessarily deserving of charities, its that I dont think I deserve this constant barrage of bad luck. It would be different if I didnt make any effort to better myself, if I neglected ways to avoid these mishaps, if I ignored prophalactic measures and precautions, if I took unnecessary risks or chances or if I had a defeated or negative attitude about them. But thats not the case. I am trying. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I absolutely will not be defeated. I try to be a good person in the basic universal ways; I mind my manners, respect my elders, I try to turn the other cheek, I would never ask anyone to do anything I wouldnt do and if I can do it myself I wouldnt ask anyone else to do it. I dont cheat, lie, steal, gamble or give in to temptation. Theres no doubt in my mind I would return a wallet full of money. I pick up litter in our environment, I take responsibility for my actions. And, in my mind the most important, I religiously obide the golden rule. I always try to do onto others as I would have others do onto me. I despise self pity and have little respect for people who are not willing to help themselves. Ive always been frugal and responsible with money and dont spend lavishly or even make unnecessary purchases simply due to desire. Ive always been employed full time. I buy my clothes at Goodwill, my food at Aldis or harvest from the garden, I purchase used, beater vehicles and drive them to their grave. I live within my means and dont wish for anything more. I dont want to be wealthy as it may affect my appreciation for all the wonderful things that have been bestowed onto me.
I feel so foolish saying this but for goodness sake, is this really fair? Do I REALLY deserve all this bad luck? I mean just one of these trials would overwhelm some people. It does no good to let myself be defeated so Im not, but Im starting to get a little discouraged and limited on options. I will continue to pick myself up and brush myself off because really, what other option are there? But every time I do, I do it just barely in time to get knocked over by the next thing. I cannot recover from one event in time to prepare for the next. With that being said I take a moment to reflect on this series of unfortunate events.
It all started with my husbands affair. I dont care who you are, thats a difficult thing to swallow. The divorce process was exceptionally painful and drawn out and I dont think anyone deserves the torment I endured through it. But, again, I did my best to avoid any reflection of self pity and eventually I got through it with most of my self respect intact. But I couldnt have done it alone and am eternally grateful to the people who supported me through it: my parents, my brother, Judes, Brian, Summit, my wonderful coworkers and understanding employer at the time. Without their help I wouldnt have gotten through that first trial which probably would have contributed to failure in the trials to follow.
The dispairing part of my divorce was I had spent my entire marraige, my entire life making decisions to ensure I would never be in this position. I was diligent to pay off my first house by the time I was 36. I couldnt have done it without my fathers help as he supplied the initial loan instead of me going through the bank, but I made all my payments on time including traditional interest.
With this accomplishment I badgered my husband until he agreed we could use the first house to get a loan for the second house which was a delapitated old farmhouse that was ready to fall over on a windy day. We bought it for $30K and though it was 2000 square feet on 3/4 acre with a 4 car garage, thats about what it was worth. We spent the next 3 years completly remodeling and restoring that house from foundation to finish. It needed to be completely gutted, 2 chimneys removed, subfloors, pipes, electric, floors, windows, everything. Every day after work and most weekends were spent working on the house.
We rented out the other house and rented to friends at a discounted rate in the name of friendship and helping others because we were in the position to do so. All this with the intention of someday accomplishing my life long dream. Once the house was finished we would sell both houses and move to the mountains with financial stability. Well that didnt happen. After working my entire life vigilantly toward this goal and about 6 months before reaching it... my husbands affair.
The divorce was final January 10th 2020 and it didnt work out in my favor. We had recently been sued for a car accident my husband was at fault in and I had to take half of that debt because, again, I had to borrow the money from my father despite the fact my husband was sleeping with another woman at the time. I got more than half the debt in the divorce and no more than half the assets but whatever, its done and in the past. I did not get discouraged and once the divorce was final I mustered up all my courage and set out to accomplish my dream.
The dog and I set out to find our new home. We spent 2 and a half months living out the Jeep, driving around Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, Tennessee, North Carolina, even hit some of South Carolina, Georgia and Alabama. We didnt stay in hotels, rarely even campgrounds. We found places to park off the beaten path and slept in the jeep. Hell I even bathed in rivers and lakes between campground showers. That dog, who had seen me through my darkest hours with the divorce, was my confidence, my protection, my best friend and I could never have taken on such an endeavor without him.
Eventually we found our paradise in Kentucky. Again with my fathers assistance, I bought the home that I had been waiting for my entire life. It was not out of my means at a purchase price well under $100K and my ex husband still owed me $21K from the divorce settlement because I had to pay his debt when I sold my house. The new house was the perfect paradise, even a big yard with a chain link fence for Summit. Thus began the next chapter in my life as I started over in a new place, far from home and completely alone besides Summit and the cats.
I was fortunate enough to find a remote job still somewhat in my lifelong career field of animal health, as there were few veterinary clinics nearby that I could apply at. Things were going relatively well, had a few issues with the new house, some expected, some not. The house had a major mold problem I had to tackle. Then a few other hiccups like broken toilets and furnaces. I had to furnish the house, everything from the appliances to furniture to ceiling fans and I did it all by buying used, mostly marketplace and constatly watching for free items even if I had to drive a distance to get them. I had to build a driveway and install a section of fence but it was all within my means and capability.
I was in the new house 3 weeks when my brother came to visit. He spent about 2 weeks, give or take, in the area between my house and thd campground up the road. Then, after work one evening, I found him about a half mile down the road having committed suicide. That came with all the impact one would expect. I had to call and tell my parents individually, I had to call the police and wait there while they did the investigation. I had to call and tell his ex wife so she could tell his 5 children. I had to take bereavement time from my new job while I was still in training to fly home for the funeral. I had to painfully answer everyones questions that I myself didnt have the answers to. I had to endure threats to my safety from my brothers ex girlfriend who thought I was lying about my brothers death and was under the impression he had stolen her car. And I will always have to live with the guilt that I was the last person with him, the last one who could have saved him and I failed.
Still, I had to recover and forge forward with life. Not long after that I lost my remote job all because I couldnt get a strong enough signal for internet where I lived. This presented a new problem because that basically eliminated the remote option for employment, but my boyfriend and I only had 1 vehicle, which he had been using to get to work. Jamie has a vehicle and its all paid for but the previous owner made repairs after he purchased it and before we could retrieve it and is now demanding money for the repairs so we can't get it without a lawsuit or at minimum police involvement and its 4 hours away.
I lost my job about the same time Jamie got sick and missed about 2 weeks of work due to Covid. We were really starting to struggle financially and we still needed some items like a bed, a stove, a toilet, etc.
There had been a stupid misunderstanding about the address of my house as it was wrong on the deed and my neighbor for some reason thought I was involved in suspicious fraudulant activity as a result. My mail was going to her house including christmas cards, sympathy cards for my brother, my paychecks, food stamps (never did get any) and bills. She returned everything to sender instead of placing it in my mailbox. Without my paychecks and bills my power got turned off. In winter.
It was late January when we got 2.6 inches of rain in 1 day. The river rose over 20 feet overnight and it had buried a section of my fence. I had been working on replacing the driveway gate because Summit could get out of the yard there though he was generally really good about staying by me. I had to postpone the gate to unbury the fence. I dug all week but I couldnt dig fast enough. It was February 3rd and I was back to working on the gate when a schoolbus went past and Summit darted right past me after it. In all our time in the Jeep, from truck stops and waysides, tourist attractions, gas stations, all the places we had been he never made a notion toward interest in chasing vehicles. We even took time to throw the ball at nearly every wayside to get him some exersize on days we spent mostly driving. Why now? And for him to run past me and ignore my commands was even more unlike him. But he did it. I watched helplessly as he barrelled into the front wheel of the bus which slammed him to the ground, then the rear wheel went right over his head. I was horrified, traumatized and hysterical. The driver stopped but I ran to the house, screaming at Jamie to go make sure he was dead and not suffering. He was dead.
Now I lost my best friend but also my security. The house was in a remote area and I would not go outside at night when Jamie was at work without Summit. Losing Summit completely shattered my life and left me heartbroken beyond belief. My heart couldnt afford to be without a dog but my bank account couldnt afford another one. So I would have to go without for the first time in 20 years. Now I had no job and no dog.
I was unemployed 3 weeks, denied unemployment, before I found another job. It was a 50 minute drive but it was a golden opportunity as it was my first supervisor position and it was in a veterinary clinic. However we still only had 1 vehicle and though we had been looking for another cheap vehicle religiously we hadnt found one we could afford yet and Jamie had no way to get to work.
I was suppose to start on a Monday but we had a terrible ice storm that knocked out the power for 48 hours and I couldnt get the jeep up the driveway due to the ice so we were stuck. No heat, no power, little food for a week. So I missed my first week of work. I started the next Monday. On my way to work I hit a huge pot hole in the road and broke a band in one of the tires so it had a terrible wobble. I had to pay for new tires to be put on the next day.
Wednesday I had to take my mom who was visiting to the airport then Jamie used the Jeep to get to work. On his way home from work the Jeep hydroplaned. It had always been bad about hydroplaning and even with new tires it pulled him off the road into oncoming traffic. He swerved away from traffic into the grass where the Jeep flipped and rolled down an embankment. Jamie was taken by ambulance 90 miles away to the University of Tennessee Medical Center because he had a broken back and sternum. Thankfully the injuries werent as bad as they sounded as the broken back was compression fractures but the hours of uncertainty before that info was discovered were unbearable. I couldnt get to him, didnt have a car. Which also now meant I couldnt get to work so I lost yet another job! I couldnt even go pick him up when he was released from the hospital. I couldnt rent a car because the rental place in town had none available. So we had to pay $150 for an Uber to get him home. He is in a pretty serious brace and bedridden for the next 6 weeks so he wont be going to work. We have no vehicle to get anywhere and no money for a new one and now no income because he cant work and I cant get to work.
It rained all day yesterday. When it rains it pours and when it pours and the river floods. The river has come up 14 feet. It needs to rise about 25 to 30 feet to reach the house. We are under a flood watch until midday tomorrow as its suppose to rain steady until then. Jamie is bedridden and we have no vehicle. If it rains enough to bring the river to the house he cant even help me move furniture or belongings up off the floor. I am just going to keep faith that wont happen.
It did happen. Jamie and I put all the furniture up and were going to go onto the rafters above the livingroom. I had 2 cats in a carrier for safety just in case and couldnt find the other cat. The water came in so fast it was astonishing, it poured through the doors and in minutes it was over my boots and soon would be to my knees. Crying and terrified for my last cat we decided we needed to leave. Put the cat carrier in the kayak and took one last desperate look for 'Savvy' and there she was, in the rafters. I was so worried she would get scared and run but she didnt. I had to scruff her and hand her down to Jamie waiting in the water. Managed to get her in the carrier and keep the other 2 from escaping. I was not gentle at all, faces got shoved and limbs got tucked wherever they would fit and I pushed them off in the kayak. It was dark out and Jamie closed the huge garage door behind us so nothing would float out. Even if the house went fully under water at least everything would still be inside.
It was pouring rain and we had no idea what to do. I called the police non emergency number and asked if they had any suggestions for transport to a hotel or anything. The man on the line said I would never get a taxi where we were. He said nothing. I said 'So I guess we will just have to figure something else out?" "Okay." He replied and hung up the phone. A neighbor drove by and let us ride in the back of the truck to the interstate overpass. Jamie had thrown whatever clothes were in the dryer and a blanket in a garbage bag and he had a dufflebag he threw some food into at the last minute. We hiked those up the hill to the hiway and came back for the cats and his backpack only to discover 3 wild dogs tearing at the carrier. Yup this was really happening. Jamie with fractured back and sternum kicked the dogs off but they had ripped open the carrier. I didnt have time to examine everyone so we fumbled our way up the slick wet hill with the carrier to the interstate.
I followed Jamie watching the carrier as the cats kept trying to escape while we walked over a long bridge. If any of them got out the only place to go was into trafffic. We walked miles before we could flag someone down. Got to a hotel with 3 drenched cats now with explosive stress diarrhea and no food, no litterbox. We had a blanket, a few drenched clothes, cereal, a bag of grapefruit and a can of cooking spray(?) But we were all alive.
Cats were ok besides stress diarrhea and of course me without even a litterbox or food for them. Our neighbor this morning went to check on our house and he couldnt find it. Either completely under water or gone. All pictures, documents, my pets and what remained of my brothers remains, all my art, my chicken, furniture, appliances, everything trapped in the house.
We had enough cash for 2 nights in a hotel. Donations came pouring in and I swear I cried with every on, but I couldnt access that money until Thursday. Mom tried to pay for a hotel but none would take credit card over the phone. But I finally got a rental car! Mom would thankfully help with that. They picked us up, an hour and a half late, and brought us to the office for the paperwork. They wouldnt take any payment but major credit card in hand. And they wouldnt help. FEMA wouldnt help, police wouldnt help, not even with resources, local relief funds and Red Cross wouldnt answer. No one would help.
So there we were, in the parking lot, in the same clothes, with 3 cats in a still ripped carrier, only now it smelt like cat urine (great), no money, no place to go and no one cared. I had maintained a positive attitude, I forged ahead beyond defetion I had basically at this point lost all faith in mankind. And then an angel was sent.
We started walking with our belongings to a local vet where I could board the cats. Jamie had all our belongings and I carried the cats but you know, 3 cats in a carrier is a little tough to carry. I was tired, emotionally exhaused, depleted of all resources, filthy and hopeless. I just collapsed there on the sidewalk and cried. I had been through so much but now I was defeated.
An old truck pulled up to the stop sign on the corner and lingered for a moment. Driving the truck was an older man, with kind solemn eyes. He looked at us and in his gaze it was obvious he asked us to come, to speak to him. We briefly fumbled through our situation through the truck window. It didnt take long for him to get out and help load our belongings in the back of the truck and he brought us to the veterinary clinic. I was on hold with the clinic while we waited in the parking lot and Jamie told the old man more of the details.
'Hang up the phone.' He instructed. I hesitated but I listened. He instructed me to get back in the truck then he brought us to his home. His name was Steve. At his home he fed us, let the cats out of the carrier, admittedly knowing I had no litterbox for them, offered them some sardines, and said we were welcome there, as long as we needed. I was so damn thankful I was nearly in tears. I hugged him so hard.
Steve then began to bring us to the house, hoping I could get my credit card to get a rental car. I called my dad on the way and asked him to send me $2000 thru walmart so I can buy a used SUV to live out of. Steve then turned around and said he forgot something from the house. Back at his house Steve ran inside and came out with 2 soda bottles and I thought 'Thats what he had to come back here for?' Again we started toward the house and after a few miles Steve pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. 'Now thats my life savings.' He said. And inside was $2000. Now Steve did not appear to be an excessively wealthy man, he had an average older home and a very old truck, he was clearly sufficient, but by no means rich. Financially anyway. But he was the wealthiest man in the world if measured by heart. He had met us maybe an hour ago and just handed me $2000. And I cried. And just thinking of it I cry. He was an angel, he could only be heaven sent. 'Now I am going to have to ask you to repay that someday.' He said, uselessly, as I would have hidden 20 $100 bills throughout his house had he said he didnt expect it back.
And then he brought us to the house. I was shaking as sobbing as soon as we turned onto our road. The street signs were knocked flat to the ground, garbage and debris everywhere and I was more anxious with every second. Then there it was, there it stood, intact, my little red barn standing prous and unfaltered in the destruction and I freaking balled my eyes out. My legs nearly collapsed beneath me as I climbed out on the truck. We pushed open the back door and I climbed over the fridge and soggy insulation and fallen drywall to where I knew I had left my purse. Under a pile of drywall and mud I saw the strap to my purse, I pulled it free and got out of there.
Steve then brought us an hour away to buy a cheap used and the next day we went to the house. There had been a trailer in the yard we piled full of garbage to bring to the dump. Somehow the trailer was missing, though it had been staked down, but the garbage was all still there. We found it with our porch about 2 football fields away.
The Christian Appalachian Program came soon and I was so happy to see them. They told us they would help remove the debris. And well guess what.... I cried!!! I hugged them and thanked them and thats where we are right now, faith in humanity restored and so grateful for everh kind word, every thought, every prayer, every penny, every wish for a brighter (dryer) future that no words can express whats in my heart.
And here we are today, cleaning up the house. Its been 5 days since the river receded and the house is still dripping. I pull up soggy insulation or drywall routinely to find something I loved, now destroyed. And many people ask me if I will move, or tell me that may be a good idea. After all Ive been through if I abandoned my home now it would be the same as allowing myself to be defeated. The river is calm and quiet now, like a wolf in sheeps clothing, but I still love her. This is still my paradise and above all I know for a fact if I did leave now, with my luck, the river would never flood again.
Thank you to everyone, especially Steve and the Christian Appalachian Program, for everything youve done. Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity and may god give me abundant opportunity to pay it forward!
I set up a venmo account to avoid go fund me fees.
And this is my story...
Yup. We need help. No one likes asking for help, I am especially bad about it. Just ask any of my prior coworkers. So obviously I am struggling with this. Its not a pride thing, Im ok admitting my faults and imperfections or when I make mistakes, which I do often. I appreciate being humbled. I struggle with this because I ask myself, why am I deserving of help? Yes, Ive had a streak of bad luck but there are still plenty of people who are in worse situations that I am. There are children with terminal diseases, there are families with missing family members, families deprived of everything due to natural disasters and in reality our situation really could still be or get worse. (Yeah I wrote that before the flood)
However as time passes I am noticing the list of ways it could be worse is getting smaller and I am crossing things off that list as they happen. Ive come to the conclusion that I am cursed, that I emit this aura of bad luck Ive affectionately termed the 'Amber Aura'.
Still though, what makes me deserving of help? After consideeable reflection Ive decided that its not that I am necessarily deserving of charities, its that I dont think I deserve this constant barrage of bad luck. It would be different if I didnt make any effort to better myself, if I neglected ways to avoid these mishaps, if I ignored prophalactic measures and precautions, if I took unnecessary risks or chances or if I had a defeated or negative attitude about them. But thats not the case. I am trying. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I absolutely will not be defeated. I try to be a good person in the basic universal ways; I mind my manners, respect my elders, I try to turn the other cheek, I would never ask anyone to do anything I wouldnt do and if I can do it myself I wouldnt ask anyone else to do it. I dont cheat, lie, steal, gamble or give in to temptation. Theres no doubt in my mind I would return a wallet full of money. I pick up litter in our environment, I take responsibility for my actions. And, in my mind the most important, I religiously obide the golden rule. I always try to do onto others as I would have others do onto me. I despise self pity and have little respect for people who are not willing to help themselves. Ive always been frugal and responsible with money and dont spend lavishly or even make unnecessary purchases simply due to desire. Ive always been employed full time. I buy my clothes at Goodwill, my food at Aldis or harvest from the garden, I purchase used, beater vehicles and drive them to their grave. I live within my means and dont wish for anything more. I dont want to be wealthy as it may affect my appreciation for all the wonderful things that have been bestowed onto me.
I feel so foolish saying this but for goodness sake, is this really fair? Do I REALLY deserve all this bad luck? I mean just one of these trials would overwhelm some people. It does no good to let myself be defeated so Im not, but Im starting to get a little discouraged and limited on options. I will continue to pick myself up and brush myself off because really, what other option are there? But every time I do, I do it just barely in time to get knocked over by the next thing. I cannot recover from one event in time to prepare for the next. With that being said I take a moment to reflect on this series of unfortunate events.
It all started with my husbands affair. I dont care who you are, thats a difficult thing to swallow. The divorce process was exceptionally painful and drawn out and I dont think anyone deserves the torment I endured through it. But, again, I did my best to avoid any reflection of self pity and eventually I got through it with most of my self respect intact. But I couldnt have done it alone and am eternally grateful to the people who supported me through it: my parents, my brother, Judes, Brian, Summit, my wonderful coworkers and understanding employer at the time. Without their help I wouldnt have gotten through that first trial which probably would have contributed to failure in the trials to follow.
The dispairing part of my divorce was I had spent my entire marraige, my entire life making decisions to ensure I would never be in this position. I was diligent to pay off my first house by the time I was 36. I couldnt have done it without my fathers help as he supplied the initial loan instead of me going through the bank, but I made all my payments on time including traditional interest.
With this accomplishment I badgered my husband until he agreed we could use the first house to get a loan for the second house which was a delapitated old farmhouse that was ready to fall over on a windy day. We bought it for $30K and though it was 2000 square feet on 3/4 acre with a 4 car garage, thats about what it was worth. We spent the next 3 years completly remodeling and restoring that house from foundation to finish. It needed to be completely gutted, 2 chimneys removed, subfloors, pipes, electric, floors, windows, everything. Every day after work and most weekends were spent working on the house.
We rented out the other house and rented to friends at a discounted rate in the name of friendship and helping others because we were in the position to do so. All this with the intention of someday accomplishing my life long dream. Once the house was finished we would sell both houses and move to the mountains with financial stability. Well that didnt happen. After working my entire life vigilantly toward this goal and about 6 months before reaching it... my husbands affair.
The divorce was final January 10th 2020 and it didnt work out in my favor. We had recently been sued for a car accident my husband was at fault in and I had to take half of that debt because, again, I had to borrow the money from my father despite the fact my husband was sleeping with another woman at the time. I got more than half the debt in the divorce and no more than half the assets but whatever, its done and in the past. I did not get discouraged and once the divorce was final I mustered up all my courage and set out to accomplish my dream.
The dog and I set out to find our new home. We spent 2 and a half months living out the Jeep, driving around Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, Tennessee, North Carolina, even hit some of South Carolina, Georgia and Alabama. We didnt stay in hotels, rarely even campgrounds. We found places to park off the beaten path and slept in the jeep. Hell I even bathed in rivers and lakes between campground showers. That dog, who had seen me through my darkest hours with the divorce, was my confidence, my protection, my best friend and I could never have taken on such an endeavor without him.
Eventually we found our paradise in Kentucky. Again with my fathers assistance, I bought the home that I had been waiting for my entire life. It was not out of my means at a purchase price well under $100K and my ex husband still owed me $21K from the divorce settlement because I had to pay his debt when I sold my house. The new house was the perfect paradise, even a big yard with a chain link fence for Summit. Thus began the next chapter in my life as I started over in a new place, far from home and completely alone besides Summit and the cats.
I was fortunate enough to find a remote job still somewhat in my lifelong career field of animal health, as there were few veterinary clinics nearby that I could apply at. Things were going relatively well, had a few issues with the new house, some expected, some not. The house had a major mold problem I had to tackle. Then a few other hiccups like broken toilets and furnaces. I had to furnish the house, everything from the appliances to furniture to ceiling fans and I did it all by buying used, mostly marketplace and constatly watching for free items even if I had to drive a distance to get them. I had to build a driveway and install a section of fence but it was all within my means and capability.
I was in the new house 3 weeks when my brother came to visit. He spent about 2 weeks, give or take, in the area between my house and thd campground up the road. Then, after work one evening, I found him about a half mile down the road having committed suicide. That came with all the impact one would expect. I had to call and tell my parents individually, I had to call the police and wait there while they did the investigation. I had to call and tell his ex wife so she could tell his 5 children. I had to take bereavement time from my new job while I was still in training to fly home for the funeral. I had to painfully answer everyones questions that I myself didnt have the answers to. I had to endure threats to my safety from my brothers ex girlfriend who thought I was lying about my brothers death and was under the impression he had stolen her car. And I will always have to live with the guilt that I was the last person with him, the last one who could have saved him and I failed.
Still, I had to recover and forge forward with life. Not long after that I lost my remote job all because I couldnt get a strong enough signal for internet where I lived. This presented a new problem because that basically eliminated the remote option for employment, but my boyfriend and I only had 1 vehicle, which he had been using to get to work. Jamie has a vehicle and its all paid for but the previous owner made repairs after he purchased it and before we could retrieve it and is now demanding money for the repairs so we can't get it without a lawsuit or at minimum police involvement and its 4 hours away.
I lost my job about the same time Jamie got sick and missed about 2 weeks of work due to Covid. We were really starting to struggle financially and we still needed some items like a bed, a stove, a toilet, etc.
There had been a stupid misunderstanding about the address of my house as it was wrong on the deed and my neighbor for some reason thought I was involved in suspicious fraudulant activity as a result. My mail was going to her house including christmas cards, sympathy cards for my brother, my paychecks, food stamps (never did get any) and bills. She returned everything to sender instead of placing it in my mailbox. Without my paychecks and bills my power got turned off. In winter.
It was late January when we got 2.6 inches of rain in 1 day. The river rose over 20 feet overnight and it had buried a section of my fence. I had been working on replacing the driveway gate because Summit could get out of the yard there though he was generally really good about staying by me. I had to postpone the gate to unbury the fence. I dug all week but I couldnt dig fast enough. It was February 3rd and I was back to working on the gate when a schoolbus went past and Summit darted right past me after it. In all our time in the Jeep, from truck stops and waysides, tourist attractions, gas stations, all the places we had been he never made a notion toward interest in chasing vehicles. We even took time to throw the ball at nearly every wayside to get him some exersize on days we spent mostly driving. Why now? And for him to run past me and ignore my commands was even more unlike him. But he did it. I watched helplessly as he barrelled into the front wheel of the bus which slammed him to the ground, then the rear wheel went right over his head. I was horrified, traumatized and hysterical. The driver stopped but I ran to the house, screaming at Jamie to go make sure he was dead and not suffering. He was dead.
Now I lost my best friend but also my security. The house was in a remote area and I would not go outside at night when Jamie was at work without Summit. Losing Summit completely shattered my life and left me heartbroken beyond belief. My heart couldnt afford to be without a dog but my bank account couldnt afford another one. So I would have to go without for the first time in 20 years. Now I had no job and no dog.
I was unemployed 3 weeks, denied unemployment, before I found another job. It was a 50 minute drive but it was a golden opportunity as it was my first supervisor position and it was in a veterinary clinic. However we still only had 1 vehicle and though we had been looking for another cheap vehicle religiously we hadnt found one we could afford yet and Jamie had no way to get to work.
I was suppose to start on a Monday but we had a terrible ice storm that knocked out the power for 48 hours and I couldnt get the jeep up the driveway due to the ice so we were stuck. No heat, no power, little food for a week. So I missed my first week of work. I started the next Monday. On my way to work I hit a huge pot hole in the road and broke a band in one of the tires so it had a terrible wobble. I had to pay for new tires to be put on the next day.
Wednesday I had to take my mom who was visiting to the airport then Jamie used the Jeep to get to work. On his way home from work the Jeep hydroplaned. It had always been bad about hydroplaning and even with new tires it pulled him off the road into oncoming traffic. He swerved away from traffic into the grass where the Jeep flipped and rolled down an embankment. Jamie was taken by ambulance 90 miles away to the University of Tennessee Medical Center because he had a broken back and sternum. Thankfully the injuries werent as bad as they sounded as the broken back was compression fractures but the hours of uncertainty before that info was discovered were unbearable. I couldnt get to him, didnt have a car. Which also now meant I couldnt get to work so I lost yet another job! I couldnt even go pick him up when he was released from the hospital. I couldnt rent a car because the rental place in town had none available. So we had to pay $150 for an Uber to get him home. He is in a pretty serious brace and bedridden for the next 6 weeks so he wont be going to work. We have no vehicle to get anywhere and no money for a new one and now no income because he cant work and I cant get to work.
It rained all day yesterday. When it rains it pours and when it pours and the river floods. The river has come up 14 feet. It needs to rise about 25 to 30 feet to reach the house. We are under a flood watch until midday tomorrow as its suppose to rain steady until then. Jamie is bedridden and we have no vehicle. If it rains enough to bring the river to the house he cant even help me move furniture or belongings up off the floor. I am just going to keep faith that wont happen.
It did happen. Jamie and I put all the furniture up and were going to go onto the rafters above the livingroom. I had 2 cats in a carrier for safety just in case and couldnt find the other cat. The water came in so fast it was astonishing, it poured through the doors and in minutes it was over my boots and soon would be to my knees. Crying and terrified for my last cat we decided we needed to leave. Put the cat carrier in the kayak and took one last desperate look for 'Savvy' and there she was, in the rafters. I was so worried she would get scared and run but she didnt. I had to scruff her and hand her down to Jamie waiting in the water. Managed to get her in the carrier and keep the other 2 from escaping. I was not gentle at all, faces got shoved and limbs got tucked wherever they would fit and I pushed them off in the kayak. It was dark out and Jamie closed the huge garage door behind us so nothing would float out. Even if the house went fully under water at least everything would still be inside.
It was pouring rain and we had no idea what to do. I called the police non emergency number and asked if they had any suggestions for transport to a hotel or anything. The man on the line said I would never get a taxi where we were. He said nothing. I said 'So I guess we will just have to figure something else out?" "Okay." He replied and hung up the phone. A neighbor drove by and let us ride in the back of the truck to the interstate overpass. Jamie had thrown whatever clothes were in the dryer and a blanket in a garbage bag and he had a dufflebag he threw some food into at the last minute. We hiked those up the hill to the hiway and came back for the cats and his backpack only to discover 3 wild dogs tearing at the carrier. Yup this was really happening. Jamie with fractured back and sternum kicked the dogs off but they had ripped open the carrier. I didnt have time to examine everyone so we fumbled our way up the slick wet hill with the carrier to the interstate.
I followed Jamie watching the carrier as the cats kept trying to escape while we walked over a long bridge. If any of them got out the only place to go was into trafffic. We walked miles before we could flag someone down. Got to a hotel with 3 drenched cats now with explosive stress diarrhea and no food, no litterbox. We had a blanket, a few drenched clothes, cereal, a bag of grapefruit and a can of cooking spray(?) But we were all alive.
Cats were ok besides stress diarrhea and of course me without even a litterbox or food for them. Our neighbor this morning went to check on our house and he couldnt find it. Either completely under water or gone. All pictures, documents, my pets and what remained of my brothers remains, all my art, my chicken, furniture, appliances, everything trapped in the house.
We had enough cash for 2 nights in a hotel. Donations came pouring in and I swear I cried with every on, but I couldnt access that money until Thursday. Mom tried to pay for a hotel but none would take credit card over the phone. But I finally got a rental car! Mom would thankfully help with that. They picked us up, an hour and a half late, and brought us to the office for the paperwork. They wouldnt take any payment but major credit card in hand. And they wouldnt help. FEMA wouldnt help, police wouldnt help, not even with resources, local relief funds and Red Cross wouldnt answer. No one would help.
So there we were, in the parking lot, in the same clothes, with 3 cats in a still ripped carrier, only now it smelt like cat urine (great), no money, no place to go and no one cared. I had maintained a positive attitude, I forged ahead beyond defetion I had basically at this point lost all faith in mankind. And then an angel was sent.
We started walking with our belongings to a local vet where I could board the cats. Jamie had all our belongings and I carried the cats but you know, 3 cats in a carrier is a little tough to carry. I was tired, emotionally exhaused, depleted of all resources, filthy and hopeless. I just collapsed there on the sidewalk and cried. I had been through so much but now I was defeated.
An old truck pulled up to the stop sign on the corner and lingered for a moment. Driving the truck was an older man, with kind solemn eyes. He looked at us and in his gaze it was obvious he asked us to come, to speak to him. We briefly fumbled through our situation through the truck window. It didnt take long for him to get out and help load our belongings in the back of the truck and he brought us to the veterinary clinic. I was on hold with the clinic while we waited in the parking lot and Jamie told the old man more of the details.
'Hang up the phone.' He instructed. I hesitated but I listened. He instructed me to get back in the truck then he brought us to his home. His name was Steve. At his home he fed us, let the cats out of the carrier, admittedly knowing I had no litterbox for them, offered them some sardines, and said we were welcome there, as long as we needed. I was so damn thankful I was nearly in tears. I hugged him so hard.
Steve then began to bring us to the house, hoping I could get my credit card to get a rental car. I called my dad on the way and asked him to send me $2000 thru walmart so I can buy a used SUV to live out of. Steve then turned around and said he forgot something from the house. Back at his house Steve ran inside and came out with 2 soda bottles and I thought 'Thats what he had to come back here for?' Again we started toward the house and after a few miles Steve pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. 'Now thats my life savings.' He said. And inside was $2000. Now Steve did not appear to be an excessively wealthy man, he had an average older home and a very old truck, he was clearly sufficient, but by no means rich. Financially anyway. But he was the wealthiest man in the world if measured by heart. He had met us maybe an hour ago and just handed me $2000. And I cried. And just thinking of it I cry. He was an angel, he could only be heaven sent. 'Now I am going to have to ask you to repay that someday.' He said, uselessly, as I would have hidden 20 $100 bills throughout his house had he said he didnt expect it back.
And then he brought us to the house. I was shaking as sobbing as soon as we turned onto our road. The street signs were knocked flat to the ground, garbage and debris everywhere and I was more anxious with every second. Then there it was, there it stood, intact, my little red barn standing prous and unfaltered in the destruction and I freaking balled my eyes out. My legs nearly collapsed beneath me as I climbed out on the truck. We pushed open the back door and I climbed over the fridge and soggy insulation and fallen drywall to where I knew I had left my purse. Under a pile of drywall and mud I saw the strap to my purse, I pulled it free and got out of there.
Steve then brought us an hour away to buy a cheap used and the next day we went to the house. There had been a trailer in the yard we piled full of garbage to bring to the dump. Somehow the trailer was missing, though it had been staked down, but the garbage was all still there. We found it with our porch about 2 football fields away.
The Christian Appalachian Program came soon and I was so happy to see them. They told us they would help remove the debris. And well guess what.... I cried!!! I hugged them and thanked them and thats where we are right now, faith in humanity restored and so grateful for everh kind word, every thought, every prayer, every penny, every wish for a brighter (dryer) future that no words can express whats in my heart.
And here we are today, cleaning up the house. Its been 5 days since the river receded and the house is still dripping. I pull up soggy insulation or drywall routinely to find something I loved, now destroyed. And many people ask me if I will move, or tell me that may be a good idea. After all Ive been through if I abandoned my home now it would be the same as allowing myself to be defeated. The river is calm and quiet now, like a wolf in sheeps clothing, but I still love her. This is still my paradise and above all I know for a fact if I did leave now, with my luck, the river would never flood again.
Thank you to everyone, especially Steve and the Christian Appalachian Program, for everything youve done. Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity and may god give me abundant opportunity to pay it forward!