Bethany’s IVF Journey

Hello My Dear Family, Friends and Lovely People,

I have been on a journey over the last year and a half. Some of you are aware of this journey, and some of you may be surprised to hear about it.

I work three jobs: one as a k-4 music and drama teacher at a school for kids with learning differences and special needs, one as a contracted board-certified music therapist at another school for kids with special needs, and a third part-time job at Tractor Supply Company. I have primary health insurance through my K-4th grade music teaching job, but this insurance covers nothing fertility-related. In April of this year, I began a job at TSC for secondary more comprehensive insurance that includes fertility treatment coverage, for which I’m extremely grateful. I work seven days a week between my three jobs and rarely have time to do much else. I have been tirelessly working towards my goal of bringing a child into this world, but have been met with some heartbreaking setbacks along the way thus far. I have been working with children my entire life and want nothing more than to be a mom in the next 3-4 years (before it’s too late). As a 38 year old, my chances of having genetically normal eggs is quite low but I’m trying to stay positive. Every month that goes by, my ovarian reserve decreases, along with a decrease in odds of having a successful pregnancy. I have a suspected diagnosis of endometriosis and an endometrial polyp, which can only be definitively confirmed via surgery, something I will have to pay for out of pocket. I have purchased two vials of donor sperm with my savings due to life circumstances and have been utilizing my TSC benefits to prepare for an egg retrieval this September. Earlier today, TSC sent an email announcing that they would be reducing their allowed fertility benefits to one smart cycle effective 9/28/23, thus leaving me (and many others who depend on these benefits) in a bind, meaning anything beyond my one allotted ‘smart cycle’ (1 ‘pie’ of coverage for IVF treatment) will not be covered. My hope is/was to create embryos with IVF using the donor sperm and my eggs, then have them PGT-A tested to see how many would be euploid (genetically normal) then freeze them for the time being and eventually try a transfer (attempt pregnancy) once my doctor says my womb is good to go (ie removal of polyps, endo via surgery, etc). But with this policy change today from TSC, I will be unable to afford anything beyond the egg retrieval and embryo creation because I will have basically exhausted my one allowed ‘cycle’ or pie. Every procedure or step uses a portion of the pie. My egg retrieval and embryo creation will essentially use up my one and only cycle allowance. I was counting on having two cycles/pies to use specifically for the embryo transfer and possibly another egg retrieval if needed. But now there’s a great deal of uncertainty and financial hardship that’s been placed on me because of the sudden policy change. The average cost of one full IVF cycle is 20-30k. The average cost of just an egg retrieval procedure is 15-20k. There’s a very sharp attrition rate once the eggs are retrieved and embryos are created in the lab. Just because all the eggs retrieved are fertilized doesn’t mean they will all be genetically normal, viable embryos. Even still, they may/may not make it to the 5 day blastocyst stage or even implant due to various reasons. My age is already against me and a big factor. Apologies if the scientific jargon is boring you but this is the reality of IVF and the many stressful things that I have faced and so many other IVF warriors. Of course I never pictured my life going this way and having to do this, and if I had to do it all over again, I would have spent the money and time freezing my eggs at a much younger age to increase my chances of a successful pregnancy. Even if I get 15 eggs this retrieval, I’ll be lucky to get 2-3 normal embryos when it’s all said and done, then even luckier of one of them can be successfully transferred to my womb and sticks. IVF also poses a higher risk of miscarriage, multiple births, and other issues along the way.

I’ve dedicated my heart and soul to

making this dream come true but I have spent most of today in tears since receiving the news. I can only do so much. I wish I had unlimited funds to pursue back to back egg retrievals+bank embryos and pursue further testing, but I don’t. I’m feeling completely discouraged and down right now. I know many of you have probably had infertility struggles too and I have the utmost and highest respect for you. No one…and I mean NO ONE… understands the pain and suffering infertility struggles cause unless you’ve walked this path. If you’ve been blessed enough to conceive naturally with a partner, please don’t ever take it for granted. Please extend grace and understanding to those who long for what you have and hold back tears, fake a smile, while watching you with your baby or may not be able to emotionally handle attending your baby shower. Just know that I do care about you and am happy for you, but I just can’t process your situation because of the circumstances IVF warriors walk through.

If you have questions or need more information, please contact me via email or private message. I know this is not the ‘conventional’/traditional fairy tale way of doing things, but life has thrown me a few curve balls and I’m just trying to figure out how to navigate them as well as I can.

If you can’t give monetarily, then please keep me in your prayers and encourage me with words and stories of hope.

Please also feel free to share the link to this as well to help.

Thank you for reading about my journey. Much love to you all. I appreciate your support so much.

I hope when I reach my goal, I can share beautiful baby updates and pictures with you.

Bethany