Bennett de Main Portier

On the morning of August 5, 2023 I awoke to find our 5-month baby Bennett unresponsive. Sadly, emergency personnel were unable to revive him even after trying for an hour. I will forever be grateful for the great efforts of the EMS, nurses and doctors that tried to help Bennett, and how they continued life-saving measures for such a long time. It was the worst experience of our lives, but it was comforting to know how hard they tried.

Unfortunately, the nightmare that began that morning continued. It is understandable that an investigation had to be done when a baby dies, and DCF (Department of Children and Families) was required to interview us, however- being questioned until 8 pm the day we lost our son was horrific. Answering a litany of questions when my mind was barely functional, painstakingly having to recount what happened in detail, and then having to recreate the scene with a baby-doll was emotionally exhausting on top of the grief we were experiencing. DCF then discovered that the temporary housing we were in is not a "legal living space" that is up to code. We are allowed to use this as an office and playspace and spend our entire day here, but if we did not find an alternative place to sleep each night they made it clear it would cause issues for our family.

After answering all the DCF's questions Saturday, and again when they showed up on Sunday, they then returned on Monday with 2 police officers because they had not seen my daughter (who was spending the night at different friend's houses while we grieved) and they "didn't know whether she was alive or dead unless they got eyes on her". I will not put other details about the DCF's treatment of us, due to there still being an open investigation however, I will say that my friend who works at a school and is a mandatory reporter has said that (at the very least) the worker needs to be retrained. Grieving parents should never have to hear the things that man said to me. (I will answer questions regarding our experience if you feel the need to contact me privately at [email redacted] but I do not want other information to be on a public forum at this time).

Due to the way we were being questioned and treated it became necessary to hire a lawyer on Monday to create a buffer between us and the DCF and to help guide us through this painful process. We are also working on acceptable short- and long-term housing so we can close out the DCF investigation and continue moving through our grieving process.

We have been so blessed by the outpouring of love that we have felt from even before Bennett was born (I had pre-eclampsia and an emergency C-section when he was 5 weeks early), the prayers and support we got throughout his life (1 month in NICU, 3 surgeries, numerous health issues), and now again at the time of our tragic loss. I will forever be grateful to those that sent money, food, prayers/thoughts/Reiki/energy healing/love, activities to keep the kids busy, flowers, heartfelt cards, and kind words. This insanely sad period in our lives is made more bearable with all the love we have been shown by family, friends, community members, and even people we have not yet met.

So many have already given so much, but many others continue to ask for a way to help or give. With lawyer bills, housing requirements, memorial service and other bills to consider, all donations will ultimately be utilized to help Avalyn (10yr) and Garren (4yr) to have a happy and healthy future, and to help memorialize Bennett de Main Portier, aka "Benny Bunny" 03/02/2023-08/05/2023.

Please be on the lookout for hummingbirds! They are messengers from baby Benny, please contact me if through my email when you see him! We hope to make Bennet's Hummingbird Garden to be a place of serenity and remembrance soon.

Venmo: TPortier2

Zelle: (contact for QR code)