Becoming a Master Peace: Heal, Rebuild, and Thrive

Becoming a Master Peace: A Journey to Heal, Rebuild, and Thrive

As I turn 44, I find myself reflecting deeply on the laps around life—a journey filled with both intense struggle and immense growth. 44 years represents more than just a number; it marks a season of wisdom, resilience, and transformation. Each year has taught me more about what it means to heal, rebuild, and thrive. As I step into this next chapter, I feel a renewed sense of purpose and excitement for the future that’s unfolding.

**Due to ongoing mold sensitivity and its impact on my health (and my cats), I need to move and start fresh in new living environment. This journey has been challenging, but I’m ready to rebuild and create a space that supports healing and stability.

The Heartbreak and Legacy of Rebel Market

Rebel Market was a vision born out of my heart and the hearts of community—a gathering space for revolutionaries, creatives, and dreamers. Over 2 years, it grew into something special, offering connection, community, and inspiration for those ready to challenge capitalism and co-create a new way forward.

This year, we were set to enter a new phase of growth with Rebel Market—our third year was going to be the season we expanded into something truly impactful. But we lost our venue, and with it, the foundation I had worked so hard to build.

Losing the venue meant starting over from scratch—finding a new space, securing new funding, and building a new team. It was devastating, and it came at a time when I was already stretched thin financially and emotionally. Even though I was challenging capitalism, I took on $10,000 in credit card debt (I could not get a loan) and had lost six months of income that I had planned to make through Rebel Market events.

Despite all of this, I still believe in the spirit of Rebel Market, and I know its impact will live on in the connections and inspiration it fostered.

I moved to Northern California because I was tired of paying rent to people who didn’t care for the land or its longevity, landlords who were only interested in offsetting their own expenses. I envisioned a life where resources could be shared and mutual care for the community could flourish. This vision led me to start Rebel Market and a Community HUB, where I aimed to create a mutual exchange network. As someone facing my own financial challenges, I questioned our current economic system and believed that we are immensely abundant when we come together, sharing our gifts and resources.

I sought out living situations based on resource sharing and trade, hoping to embody a new paradigm. But I quickly learned that, unfortunately, cash is still king. Despite my hopes for a different way of living, I faced the reality that the structures we live within still uphold financial transactions as the ultimate standard.

Through my experiences of constantly moving from one rental to the next, I witnessed firsthand the disparity in the housing market. Many people claim to want “community,” shared land, and a stewardship model, but in practice, financial power often forces them into the role of landlord. This dynamic creates challenges around accountability and fairness. The harsh reality is that there isn’t a collective structure or organization to support these community-based ideals, leaving individuals to fend for and advocate for themselves.

I’ve also been deeply affected by mold exposure, which has significantly compromised my immune system. The issues began at a previous home where mushrooms grew under the house due to water damage, and a severe leak created toxic mold. My insurance didn’t cover the loss of my belongings, so I had to keep some of them due to financial constraints. I have cleaned, ozoned and done all the things to try to keep them. Since then, my mold sensitivity has followed me from place to place. At my last home, the heating system was filled with mold, and in my current space, has triggered immune and nervous system flares for both me and my cats.

Despite these challenges, I’ve continued to show up for my community—producing events, designing, and coaching—but I’m exhausted. It’s time for me to heal and rebuild. I’m ready to let go of everything and start fresh with non-toxic, hypoallergenic belongings, creating a safe and supportive foundation for my health and well-being.

Saying Goodbye to Grass Valley & Nevada City

Leaving Grass Valley was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. It wasn’t just a town; it was a community, a place where Rebel Market had begun to blossom. But when I lost both my home and my business at the same time, I realized it was no longer sustainable to stay.

Before leaving, I poured my heart into a 40-page business plan and was preparing to launch a round of fundraising to grow Rebel Market & Catalyst & Co. into its next season. I was ready to level up and truly scale the impact of the work I had started. But the universe—and my higher self—had other plans.

At first, it was devastating to let go of something I’d invested so much of my soul into. But looking back now, I couldn’t be more grateful. Things have redirected me in ways I couldn’t have imagined, and it’s clear that this transition is exactly what I need.

In September, when I moved to Sebastopol, I truly believed it was going to be a fresh start. I thought I was stepping into a healthier, more grounded chapter surrounded by community and hope. Instead, I’ve found myself starting over, having left behind the network of friends and connections that have supported me in the past.

The home I moved into has turned out to be more harmful than healing. The environment is causing me and my cats, Bodhi and Gypsy, immense stress and anxiety. A recent leak has worsened the situation, and the mold exposure is continuing to compromise our health and immune systems. It’s clear we need to move—and quickly—but this requires resources I simply don’t have right now.

What About Bodhi?

Bodhi, my sweet cat, has been a constant source of love and comfort during some of the hardest times in my life. In addition to all the moving, mold and stress as some of you know this year, he’s been facing unexpected health challenges, and we’ve had a series of vet bills that have added up quickly. We have been though so much together in deep grief of his life, I have never experienced anything like this before. With his complex health challenges of heart disease, asthma and a fungal infection it's just as daunting to care for him and myself.

Thanks to the incredible generosity of friends and community members, I’ve been able to crowdfund for some of his specialist visits but we still need more care. I’m so grateful for the support Bodhi has received—it’s truly heartwarming to know how many people care about him.

Gypsy our other kitty family has been a solid during this time, she really wants to go outside and is also struggling with her breathing and fungal infection.

At the same time, I realize I’ve never allowed myself to ask for help for ME. Every year around my birthday, I think about creating a fundraiser for myself—to help with housing, medical expenses, or just basic stability—but my ego always gets in the way.

This year, I’m letting that go. I’m choosing to ask for the support I need so that I can truly rebuild and move forward. I have put myself out there for community, for this movement, for the sacred rebellion and this warrior needs some grace to recover.

A Fresh Start, Full of Possibilities

The last 5 years have tested my resilience in every way. From learning about my mothers cancer and declining health, to battling chronic pain, navigating a scooter accident that impacted my mobility and spirit, to burnouts and unpacking CPTSD and to living in environments that hindered my healing, each step of the journey has been about survival, growth, and finding my footing.

And...I haven't stopped dancing and smiling even in the darkest of dark! There has always been a spark!

Now, as I approach 44, I feel ready for a fresh start—one that prioritizes my health, peace, and stability. I’m taking all of the lessons learned, to integrate and move forward with a sense of gratitude and intention.

I’m excited to share I was hired for a full-time position with a values aligned organization and will begin in January, and while this is just a starting place, it represents an incredible opportunity to rebuild my foundation. For the first time in over 15 years, I’ll have a stable source of income and the ability to focus on what truly matters: my health, my home, and my future.

But until then, I still need support to bridge the gap. There’s a transition period between now and when I can truly regain my footing. This is where your partnership or generosity can make a huge difference in helping me create the stable, healthy life I’m building toward.

Rebuilding with Gratitude and Intention

For so long, I’ve been in survival mode—pushing through every challenge just to keep going. Having a negative and overdrawn bank account , no credit or anyone I can borrow from. I have truly learned the art of value and unfortunately still realize even though the Rebel Market social experiment that we still very much live in society ruled by capitalism and the dollar.

Now, I’m prioritizing my health, my home, and my purpose so that I can create the kind of life I’ve always dreamed of—a life that’s aligned with who I am and the impact I want to make in the world.

I’m also offering design services (flyers, branding, event marketing) and business development sessions to support others while continuing to support myself through this transition.

What I’m Asking For

I’m raising funds to help me transition into a stable, safe environment where I can heal and thrive.

Here’s what your generosity will support:

Safe, Mold-Free Housing: A healthy, toxin-free space for me and my cats, Bodhi and Gypsy, to recover and thrive.

Health & Wellness: Detox treatments, supplements, and tests for mold and heavy metals to support my immune system and overall recovery.

Car Repairs: Ensuring my car is safe and reliable for this next chapter.

Moving Costs: Selling or donating my belongings ( as they have been effected by mold) covering moving expenses, and securing a deposit for our new home.

Stability for the Future: Beginning to pay down credit cards I used to fund Rebel Market and create a financial foundation for long-term health and success.

Why This Matters

This isn’t just about surviving—it’s about creating a life where I can thrive. I’ve spent so much time giving to others, whether through Rebel Market, community initiatives, or holding space for those I love. Now, I’m asking for your support to help me create the stability and health I need to continue showing up in the world with purpose and passion.

Even with a full-time job on the horizon, staying in California will be challenging. I’ve been living in survival mode for far too long. It’s time to create an intentional, peaceful environment where I can heal, regain my strength, and thrive—not just for myself but for Bodhi and Gypsy, too. And in turn I can keep showing up for each of you!

Gratitude & Commitment

I’ve accomplished so much while navigating pain, uncertainty, and chaos. Imagine what I could do with stability, health, and peace. Thank you for believing in me and for being part of this journey. Your support means more than words can express, and I’m deeply grateful for the opportunity to heal, rebuild, and thrive.