Becky D. Murphy

Hi, my name is Jeremy Murphy and I'm raising funds for my mother's funeral and memorial. The picture above was taken just one week ago when my wife gave her a haircut. She wasn't feeling up to going out so my wife was kind enough to give her one, I'm so thankful for her and this picture.

A little over seven weeks ago she was diagnosed with liver cancer. She was 70 years old and had some heart problems but there was optimism that they found it early enough and, though she was ineligible for surgery or transplant, her life could be extended with chemotherapy. Well, her first round put her in the hosital for two weeks recovering from what may have been a heart attack, caused by the chemo. Understanding how dangerous continued treatment would be she and her doctors decided to forgo treatment and focus on her quality life. They estimated she'd live 6 months to a year so she was put into palliative care. A few days ago, Sept. 16th, she took a turn for the worse and the plan was to move her into a hospice facility as they suspected she'd now only have 3-4 weeks left. Yesterday, Sept. 18th, she left this world. Two months ago she was fine and now, just a little over seven weeks from diagnosis, she's gone. Every step of the way our hope was crushed and now we're left in the aftermath, trying to come to terms with how it all went wrong so fast. At least her suffering has ended.

My mother was an amazing person. I've never known anyone more patient or kind. I can't remember a single instance of her acting out of anger. Which is saying something considering she and my dad, who she would've celebrated her 43rd wedding anniversary with in November, had two boys. I have to imagine that is difficult enough, but it turns out that both of us are on the Autism spectrum. My brother has a more severe case but I recently discovered though therapy that I have Asperger's Syndrome (which is primarily a social disorder). Communicating with us must have been difficult but my Mom perfected the art. Probably why I didn't realize I thought a bit differently until this late in life, she was just so easy to talk to. Besides being a wonderful wife and mother, she was incredibly hard working as well. She worked 29.5 years with Kmart and 16 years with Walmart for a total of 45 years in retail. She inspired my own career in retail and after spending 12 years in that field, I can say it takes a really special person to work with the general public for so long. And she was special, nothing seemed to ever really bother her, the stresses of the world just rolled off her back...I'd like to learn to be that way someday. Despite how much she worked, she never seemed to want anything for herself. You see so much greed and opulance glorified in the world and she just wasn't interested. She really was too good for this world. After working 45 years she decided to retire early, which was the correct decision, but only got 8 years of retirement for all of her hard work. Just doesn't seem fair.

The reason I started this fundraiser is we just didn't have enough time to prepare for the end. My mother had minimal life insurance and we thought we'd have more time. 6 months to a year is a lot more time to save than 7 weeks. I've always worked for what I have and asking for help isn't in my nature at all. I don't expect anyone to donate but if there's evem a sight possibility of lessening the burden on my surviving family well, I wouldn't feel right if I couldn't set my ego aside and at least ask. Besides the funeral and memorial costs I would like to move my Father and Brother to Quincy, IL where I live. It has it's faults but in my mind it's a much kinder place than Springfield, IL, where they currently live. That way I can be there to support the two of them. My father just lost the love of his life after being with her for 42 years. My brother, who has enough challenges of his own, just lost one of the only people that's always been there for him. He's lived with my parents for just shy of 40 years. If anything ever happens to my father he'll come live with me anyway. He doesn't do well with changes and I want to give him a chance to acclimate slowly, not have him move after losing another parent. So any funds raised will either go to the funeral/memorial costs or, if a substantial amount is raised, to bringing my family out to where I live.

Whether you donate of not I appreciate anyone who took the time to read about my mother. There's so much more to tell. She loved Dolly Parton, Whinnie the Pooh and Dolphins. She loved doing those Diamond Paintings (again, the patience she had was amazing) and playing games on the tablet I bought her (I just gave her a new one when she was in the hospital a few weeks ago...). I remember she'd make my favorite breakfest for me on the weekends will I watched cartoons. I remember how she'd console me when I got a headache as a child and she'd rock in her chair with me until it the pain went away...

When will this pain go away? We lost our innocent little dog Zero last year, we lost his father Odie the year before. This year I lost my mother. I know I have to be strong for those that remain but...can I please have a break from anymore loss?

Don't ever, EVER assume there's more time. Tomorrow isn't gauranteed. Cherish your loved one while they're here. I said nearly everything I wanted to say to my mother but there a few things I'll never get the chance to tell her now. Don't let words go unspoken.

Thank you for reading.