Be Josh’s Hero for His Family

Hello, heroes! My name is Joshua. Some of you may know me as Juke. This is, without a doubt, the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I figured it was worth a try to allow myself to feel vulnerable for the sake of my family.

I'm very new to feeling or saying something like this. It's hard for me to get my feelings out. About two months ago (07/08/2023), my life flipped upside down. Losing basic functions like walking, talking, or even being able to shower alone. As for how we got here, we are still unsure as to what happened.

What we do know is this: I went to the ER with very serious internal pains. I had pus coming out of my rectum, fever, chills, and random blackouts, waking up unsure of what was going on. I had surgery to remove an abscess from inside me the next morning and was placed on Vancomycin via IV, for about a week.

I was sent home. Later that day, I felt very tired, like I could pass out at any time. I had figured it was from being on IV meds for so long. So, I went to bed. That's when I woke up to my world being so different. My alarm went off, and I noticed I couldn't read it. Everything was blurry. I couldn't make anything out. Went to get out of bed and immediately fell. I couldn't take more than two steps without falling. I had uncontrollable spins. Nothing I could do would fix it. I was found on the floor in my room, unable to talk. I could hear them just fine, but I couldn't get anything out to them. So I was moved to the car and rushed to the ER. I took a step outside of the car and immediately passed out. I don't remember much at that point. I woke up to being in a wheelchair pushed into the ER, unable to speak, walk, or function. My words were just noises, and I couldn't tell them what I was trying to. They quickly brought me back and placed me on a stretcher. I passed out again. Woke up to an IV, oxygen on me, and a full room of doctors trying to figure out what happened to me. At this point, it was and is still assumed I had a stroke. In time, I came to the point where I could speak again. Everything they could do was done: blood work, CT scans, X-rays. The one thing they couldn't do was give me an MRI due to a hearing implant I had in my head (more on that later).

At this point, the only thing coming back bad was my liver. At the time, they believed it was failing or had severe trauma. They did manage to find a large spot on my liver and will see about doing a biopsy after they do an MRI. It was found when checking my head and neck with a CT scan. My enzymes were through the roof, and they were convinced I had maybe taken too much Tylenol or eaten something without knowing it. From here, they were checking my levels every few hours while keeping me on IV for pain and fluids for about another week. During this week, I had been checked for seizures, spinal issues, nerves, and inner ear balance. You name it; they checked it. Even in time, my liver levels were coming back to normal. I was sent home. I could walk with assistance again. the diagnosis leaving the hospital was extreme vertigo. They placed me on a Scopolamine Patch and Meclizine as needed.

From this time on, it's been around the same thing. Vertigo is the main issue I've been dealing with since then. Unable to work, be alone. Randomly passing out. Driving privileges have been removed. Things we normally don't think twice about I have not been able to do. Watch a movie, have conversations with my kids, and go to school events. I just can't do it. Along with vertigo come other things: depression and anxiety. Both of which I'm very new to feeling. And to be honest, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's uncontrollable. I could feel fine for one second just to suddenly get spins, anxiety, and depression at the same time. It controls my life. As of right now, I've been officially diagnosed with vertigo, anxiety, and depression. The cause is still unsure, as well as ruling out a stroke.

So what are they doing now or have done? Well, I've been tested for BPPV, Meniere's disease, Vestibular neuritis, and have started to undergo rehabilitation to help me walk and function normally again. I've had the implant removed from my head so I will be able to get the MRIs done. As of right now, I have an MRI of my head to check for a stroke on the 21st of September and an MRI of my liver on the 28th. Daily therapy and meetings with my doctors in hopes to figure out the issue.

Which brings me to today. Because of this sudden sickness, my family has had to change a lot of their life in hopes of helping with mine. Because I was unable to work or be alone, they take off work to bring me to the doctors or simply be with me in hopes I don't end up passing out or die. It's been traumatic for everyone. Fear is an understatement. Because of others being unable to work on my behalf, we are in quite the financial hardship. The amount I'm trying to raise is to help my family get back on their feet. It's for the mortgage, electricity, and water. I've tried to take out loans, maxed out credit cards trying to help, but this time has brought us to a rather deep hole. My job is to provide for my family. I do the best I can. I have five kids, aged 11 to 5. One is special needs. The hardest part about all of this is doing my best to not have the kids deal with my health or financial issues.

Mentally, this has been extremely hard for me. It's difficult for me to ask for help. It's embarrassing. What will others think? What will they say? How much weaker will I look? Even more so in this situation. But if it has the chance to relieve my kids from the burden this has caused, then it's worth at least trying. School has started, and I was unable to get them new clothes or backpacks. But they are little troopers and understand that we are just going through a tough time right now. This hurts, and I know it could be worse. My family is my world, and I hate that what's happened to me is affecting their lives as much as my own. Clothes, while nice, can wait. Our main concern is ensuring our power doesn't get turned off and that we don't lose the house. Both are massive fears and issues right now.

Since my therapy, I try to find work-from-home jobs or sell whatever I can from the house to keep us afloat, but I'm too far behind. I am still unable to drive or be fully on my own. I can't do it, and I can't help but blame myself for all of this. If I had not gotten sick, everyone would have been fine. I got us into this mess. I've done all I can, and this is something I hope will help us get out of it. Anything helps. Thank you for taking the time to read this. My family needs a hero right now. As of now, that hero isn't me. But I'm hoping people out there understand my story.

We appreciate your support and compassion more than words can say. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. - Joshua Oliveras and Family