Matthew and I started trying for children about two years ago. What started as excitement and anticipation quickly turned to doubt and fear as month after month passed and still no baby. We continued to pray, fast and tithe fully believing that God had a plan and a purpose for this journey. As we prayed for wisdom and decrement on what our next step was we tried EVERYTHING possible to get pregnant (some really weird things). I have taken every vitamin, rubbed on every oil, drank ever juice, tried every diet, tried very interesting yoga posses, taken vacations to "relax," been poked with hundreds of acupuncture needles while being shocked by electric stimulation (not fun), tried medication and went through two rounds of IUI fertility treatments....and still....no baby.
We firmly believe in the word of God and know that His timing is divine and His promises are true. As we prayed for wisdom I felt that it was time to meet with a fertility specialist and see if there was something God was trying to reveal to us. After visiting with our doctor we learned that not only do I have endometriosis but that my egg count is very very low for someone my age. On top of that my lovely, yet freakishly tall 6'11" husband has large sperm heads... go figure! All of which makes our chances of naturally conceiving very low. Our doctor at that time recommended having In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatments. She told us that our chance were very good with IVF and she believe that with this treatment it could increase our chances of conceiving to 70%. Sounds great right, well it cost about $20,000 and get this... insurance does not cover any of it.
After hearing this I started to cry thinking, we were never going to have kids, I would never feel that baby kicking in my tummy or hear their little feet running through the house, I would never go to a basketball game, no school talent shows, no graduations...fear, fear, fear. Then I was reminded of Gods word, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7.
This is not a journey that any one wants to go on but we don’t get to choose our testimonies. To prepare for IVF I have to have a surgery to remove some large cyst that are currently three times the size of my ovaries. Having this surgery will also increase our chanced of IVF taking successfully. This scripture has helped me to stay strong in my faith during this time, “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1.
It is hard to put two years of emotion into a short blog and it’s difficult to put such a personal part of your life out for everyone to see, judge and comment on. However, we have decided to allow this to be a time of empowerment and to help other couples going through similar issues. The devil comes to break you down and keep you quiet so that you can never explore your true greatness. We choose to stand up against him and declare that we BELIEVE that God will provide.
I am in totally peace knowing that God has a plan for our lives, and for the first time, I believe it is through this treatment. Not because God is unable to do this on His own but to teach me and others that sometimes He needs you to take action. Don't just say "it will happen just have faith," but get up and give God something to work with! Taking action does not mean not having faith, it means acting in faith! Today we are taking action to not live in fear of the unknown but to know that God guide every step we take and we believe that this is the journey He has put us on!
Raising $20,000 seems impossible but we know that God is a big God and that when we “take delight in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. Pslam 37:4.” We know that God put this desire in our hearts and we are asking that our friends and family pray for us during this long process and to provide for us where you feel called. Thank you for your prays and the blessing you have been to our lives! Please help us spread the word and help us get to our goal of raising $20,000, every dollar helps!
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