There have been no issues, no fighting or arguing and no communication to me tell me there were any issues!
In fact, on 04/10/2014 he gave me $ to get my passport renewed as we were planning a trip overseas for our 10 year wedding anniversary.
On 04/11/2014 he had me meet him for lunch and when I said ok I'll meet you at work he said no, meet him at Wendy's around the corner (I never eat at Wendy's). At lunch he was different and I asked what was wrong. He said his job is on the line, his conference call with his boss about his sales is bad and he was stressed. I asked as I always had in the past, what can I do to help you get sales? He said it's too technical for me. We held hands walking to our cars in the parking lot and he kissed me and said he'd see me later at home.
The night of 04/11/2014 about 10:00 p.m. he asked if I was going to stay up or go to bed. I said why, I can stay up if you want me to and he said we have to have our "bad talk" and he went to shower. I was puzzled and thought it would be maybe one of two things...either he was going to tell me he lost his job or that we could not afford to go on our wedding anniversary vacation.
About 10:30 p.m. he approached me and started telling me that he's been going around town talking to arbitrators, mediators and trying to find out what all they do.... I was puzzled listening to him and then he cut to the chase, threw his hands up and says "I filed for divorce!"
I could not believe what I had just heard!!!!! Completely shocked and in disbelief, I asked again what did you just say? And he said it again!!!! My world was just shattered!!!! He blindsided me!!
He has never approached me to tell me anything was wrong and just threw in the towel! I have been with him for 14 years and nearly married for 10 years and we have one handsome son together who is 7 years old.
I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years with the occassional part time jobs over the years but he has always said he has the bills covered and that I don't have to work.
We always talked about having 2-3 kids but after we had our son he changed his mind and wanted no more. He took that from me too...but now, he's taken my only child from me!!!
He retained an expensive attorney and I asked for money for an attorney so I can have legal counsel. He said no. He said he filed uncontested and everything is 50/50. I did not ever want a divorce and of course it's contested! He has always managed the funds and I have no access to anything.
I have borrowed over $10K from family and am indebited to them. The attorney I have now, who I still owe $7K to, has been less than active on my case. He doesn't have time, his criminal cases come first, he tells me what his strategy is and later changes his mind.
Since living in the marital home from the time he filed until I, at stay at home mom got kicked out (that part is next!), he was telling me in the house daily (and I quote) "work with me", "nothing has to change", "we'll still live together", "this will rebuild us", "no one is moving out; I'm not and you're not", "you're going to get a gob-loads of money and you can pay me rent!", "you were not suppose to contest it and now you're making a huge legal mess", "this will be better for everyone", "one day we'll remarry", "if there's anyone I want to be with, don't you think it's with the mother of my son?".....
I begged him to undo what he did! I begged almost daily!! I asked him to go get counseling, for us to go to marriage counseling, I reminded him that he has promised all of these years he would NEVER put us or our child through a divorce as to this day he still has issues about his own parents' divorce when he was 9 years old.
I was/am distraught, emotional, betrayed, blindsided and in disbelief!!! Daily and nightly he would tell me these illogical things and I could not get clarity or understanding from all he was telling me. He'd say "I love you" over and over again. He'd say "you know I'll take care of you" and "I'd never put you out, you know I'm not like that". Other days he'd sayd "whatever you think divorce is in your mind, it's not so bad. Ask any divorced person, they're just as happy as a single person"...
He's clearly confused or having an affair and won't admit it.
When I asked what his reason is he stated he wasn't happy with himself, he's miserable, that he doesn't like his weight, my weight and that we don't do anything. He controls the finances and does not allow me access to them and in fact, only through these proceedings have I really learned his salary and his hefty yearly bonuses!!! We don't live like a family of 3 who has that kind of money!!
He was about 3 weeks away from turning 45 and I said over and over this is a midlife crisis! Go get counseling and undo this please! He said no. Said it's not a midlife crisis "because it's not like I went out and bought a new sports car!". Other days he told me he liked himself better when we were first dating (who doesn't?), said he missed playing the guitar (I never stopped him from doing so!) and said we both should have been "gym rats" (I said then let's go!). No matter what I proposed or suggested to him, it was no, no, no. That is has to be done his way!
Another day he told me "you'll see, you'll want this again in 2-3 years, you'll see!". The confusion he created by telling me such things made no sense and then I realized too late, he was doing it all for a purpose... to make me cry and yell from his irrationale and use it against me in court!!!
From the time he told me he filed almost 2 months go by and daily he was recording me w/o my knowledge! I never thought he would be so malicous and deceiving!
On 05/29/2014, what would have been our 10 year wedding anniversary, he says to me happy anniversary! Only to get a call from my attorney that 4 minutes to 5:00 p.m., before the end of the work day, he filed with the court a motion for an emergency hearing!!!
We go to court for this bogus emergency hearing and he brings 2 recordings of me yelling at him and swearing. Who would not be distraught and emotional? My life was turned upside down and I never wanted or expected or saw this all coming!!! He used the illogical things he was saying to me all that time to provoke me and used it against me in court and used his charm, charisma and salesman skills to get the judge to remove me from the marital home and only receive weekend visitations with my one blessing in life, my son!!!
The 2 months of living together after he told me he filed and his provoking me with these conversations he used against me because I showed my emotions, yelling, crying and swearing at him...none of what he was saying made sense and now, now, I am in a state where I have no family, have been removed from the house that I painstakingly and proudly made into a home over the past 12 years and most importantly, I am not with my child daily as I have been all of these years!!!!
I was staying in a hotel for the first 9 days after being put out of my home. I looked for temporary housing and secured something and with the unconditional love and help of neighbors and friends they helped me create a place to get through this temporary adjustment period. I am indebited to each and every one of them and will never forget their love and generosity!
Daily I research and do what I can to learn of these laws and try to understand what is going on!?! How this all happened!! I am trying to provide my attorney as much as I can and ask him to take action on all I am providing but due to my money running out, my case is no longer a priority to him!
This is my life and my son's life! I have ONE CHANCE TO FIGHT FOR MY CHILD!!!!
I am emotionally distraught by all of this and betrayed in the worst way possible by the man I gave my all to that I planned to be married to forever...I took my vows seriously and have never fallen out of love for my husband. The fact that he can go behind my back and file without talking to me and just throw in the towel, to give me money to renew my passport for our upcoming wedding anniversary trip, to have me meet him for lunch the same day he officially files for divorce is incomprehensible to me that anyone could be so callous and calculating! He lead me on to believe all is well until he was ready to pull the plug.
My heart is broken!! My trust for the only person on this earth that I have given everything to has been shattered!! To find out that he's been planning this behind my back and talking about it and getting advise from his coworkers for over 9 months behind my back is sickening!! The things I have learned about him since all of this (dating a few years back) is telling of a person who has two sides.
I have not been able to secure employment as I have been out of the real workforce for 7 years. I am living for the first time on my own in 14 years and he won't pay the few bills I have. My cell phone might get shut off soon as he's refusing to pay it.
My prayers are constant. My love for my son is and has been remarkably huge and that is why I'm doing this. I need financial assistance to secure a new, aggressive attorney who requires a $4k retainer fee. She is ready and willing to take on my case but as my current attorney told me "money talks and bulls*** walks".
I need funds to get a new attorney to work for me and my son and turn this all around!! This is to bring my child back to me and in our household together!!
I'm a proud Mom fighting for her only child who has been the constant and primary parent in his life since he was born!!!
As God is my witness, my boy is EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! He is my life, and my reason!!! He has brought me all the love and joy I always knew parenthood provided and our bond has always been so incredibly close!!! I need my 'little me' back with me!!
I am desparate, ashamed and embarrassed by this all...I never wanted this to happen (the divorce) but now he has also managed to hurt me beyond words by taking our son from me!! This is all a game to him and he doesn't care who he is hurting; me and our son!
Please help me get my boy back!!! Every morning I would sing to him the song "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy..." but without my boy my skies are gray every day!!!!
I am the parent that has given all my time, love and attention to this sweet boy. My son is in the best care with me and he deserves to be raised right and that's all I've been doing!!!
May God bless you. I thank you for reading and considering assisting me....
I am not going to place a picture of my son on here since he is a minor. Should the grace of God and all of you with your help bring us back together and turn this around, I will proudly display a picture of me and my blessing...my boy.
From a desparate Mama looking to devote her life to her boy alone.... I need the financial help to fight for this in court!
With a very heavy heart...
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