Send Due Dissidence To the GOP Primary States

From the land of the cowbell to the land of actual cows, your favorite cranky New York J-o-o's want to go where MAGA is the word and the primaries are relevant. Yep, that's right. We're going to Iowa.

And New Hampshire.

And maybe Texas and Florida.

With your help, we're going to travel this good, clean country and talk things over with its colorful and lively peoples. It's the road movie you didn't know you wanted. Like Bob and Bing in Rio, only with Keaton and Russ in a deindustrialized hellhole.

If that sounds like something you'd pay good money to see, then you've come to the right place. Give us your money and we'll give you back hours upon hours of political entertainment. Plus, as a special bonus, there's at least a 50/50 chance that one of us gets arrested on camera.

As the dear, departed Dr. Gonzo once said, "Buy the ticket. Take the ride." If you send us out on the road, we may not produce Fear and Loathing in New Hampshire, but we can promise you, it'll definitely get weird.

But good weird. Not Ben Shapiro reviewing Barbie weird.

And we think in this age of lowered expectations and half-assed attempts, our firm handshake promise of total weirdness along with the added possibility of a beating from the police are pretty damned good. Besides, there's a strike on, what else are you gonna watch next year?