- J
- M
- M
Some of you know what is going on, but most of you don't... I am fighting for my life right now. I know it may be hard to feel compassion for someone you might see as self distructing, but this is real. Its a deep dark place I cannot climb out of alone. Its not normal for me to reach out and ask for help. Especially financially, but me KNOWING I cannot see a good end result doing this alone, I ask for help and support.
I have struggled with extreme depression and an eating disorder for the past 14+ years. In 2004 I attended an all girls program, Mercy Ministries in Nashville. I resided there for a little over a year, the program was helpful, but after leaving the home, all of the structure and accountability I learned flew out the door. I lost myself again. I have been in and out of counseling and was prescribed a few different antidepressents since then.
In the past year it has become more of a 'serious' issue, and in the past 6 months, it has become intolerable. In the past 2 to 3 months I have lost 20 pounds and have become scared, frustrated and completely hopeless. I have been struggling every day to want to live, I've lost hope in the desire to live. To want to eat. Enjoying life has become non existant. These days I don't honestly live, I survive. I am tired of 'just surviving' I'm tired of suffering. I want to smile again... I want to laugh again... I want to be able to feel alive again... to see the good in life again... because today, right now, I feel numb, I feel sad, and so lost.
After trying many different antidepressents and feeling all of their horriable side effects I have decided to try a new style of treatment. It is called TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation). TMS was approved by the FDA in 2009 and has seen fantastic results in people like me. Unfortunately, during my consoltation I was advised by my doctor that although we have good insurance, we have one of the worst insurances to cover TMS. My insurance is requiring that I go on six seperate clinical trials of antidepressant medication before they would approve any kind of coverage. Due to the length of time that would be needed and all of the side effects that I may endure, THIS IS NOT AN OPTION.
Most of you aren't aware of what TMS is. Let me give you a brief description. A MRI grade magnet is placed on your head. When it is turned on it pulses on the front of your brain increasing electric currents that stimulate nerve cells that alter mood control and depression. My doctor advised me today that I would be a terrific candidate for this treatment and would absolutely see a positive mood change from TMS.
Unfortunally at this time the cost of this treatment is well beyond our means. Any donation would be greatly appreciated and I thank you all VERY much for taking the time in reading this and considering my humble request for help.
As I said, asking for help is hard for me to do but, I need support... I have to beat this. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers as right now I can't see the light at the end. But, I am a fighter... I plan to fight. Giving up is tempting, but not an option.
I have struggled with extreme depression and an eating disorder for the past 14+ years. In 2004 I attended an all girls program, Mercy Ministries in Nashville. I resided there for a little over a year, the program was helpful, but after leaving the home, all of the structure and accountability I learned flew out the door. I lost myself again. I have been in and out of counseling and was prescribed a few different antidepressents since then.
In the past year it has become more of a 'serious' issue, and in the past 6 months, it has become intolerable. In the past 2 to 3 months I have lost 20 pounds and have become scared, frustrated and completely hopeless. I have been struggling every day to want to live, I've lost hope in the desire to live. To want to eat. Enjoying life has become non existant. These days I don't honestly live, I survive. I am tired of 'just surviving' I'm tired of suffering. I want to smile again... I want to laugh again... I want to be able to feel alive again... to see the good in life again... because today, right now, I feel numb, I feel sad, and so lost.
After trying many different antidepressents and feeling all of their horriable side effects I have decided to try a new style of treatment. It is called TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation). TMS was approved by the FDA in 2009 and has seen fantastic results in people like me. Unfortunately, during my consoltation I was advised by my doctor that although we have good insurance, we have one of the worst insurances to cover TMS. My insurance is requiring that I go on six seperate clinical trials of antidepressant medication before they would approve any kind of coverage. Due to the length of time that would be needed and all of the side effects that I may endure, THIS IS NOT AN OPTION.
Most of you aren't aware of what TMS is. Let me give you a brief description. A MRI grade magnet is placed on your head. When it is turned on it pulses on the front of your brain increasing electric currents that stimulate nerve cells that alter mood control and depression. My doctor advised me today that I would be a terrific candidate for this treatment and would absolutely see a positive mood change from TMS.
Unfortunally at this time the cost of this treatment is well beyond our means. Any donation would be greatly appreciated and I thank you all VERY much for taking the time in reading this and considering my humble request for help.
As I said, asking for help is hard for me to do but, I need support... I have to beat this. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers as right now I can't see the light at the end. But, I am a fighter... I plan to fight. Giving up is tempting, but not an option.