Please Help Us Escape

Hi, my name  is Mimi. That little tot in the picture is me about 18 years ago. I'm 23 now, and my 63 year old mother and I live with my emotionally, financially, and borderline physically abusive father.  He was a large part in my development of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and self harm growing up. My mother has been berated for years before I even came along. The reason I'm making this is because he now knows that I'm a lesbian, and it's unsafe for us to live with him anymore. He's a man that's violently homophobic, racist, and misogynistic.  Growing up, he's told me and my mother horrible things. That we caused his heart attacks, that we caused his suffering, that we are the reason for all his anger. My mother also has a heart condition, and I live in constant fear that this will spur more issues for her. I haven't had a night without nightmares or unsettling dreams in a very long time.

He's what I suspect to be a paranoid schizophrenic - one who is violently anti psychiatry (including taunting me constantly for having seen counselors). He gets violently angry, screaming so loudly that he spits in our faces when he curses. The house is a wreck because he "cleans" and messes everything up. The floors are caked in dirt from him trying to wet vac the floor despite our shitty trailer not having enough ventilation to dry the floors. Piles of boxes line the walls of old things that he refuses to let us throw away. Every time one of us cleans something, he follows behind us and turns it into a war zone. He ruined my mother's credit a long time ago with his need to spend above his means, and has put mine in the hole as well. We can recover, but not with him. We can start healing, but not here.

Our plan is to raise enough money to leave, and then to have him taken to be assessed for his mental health. This doubles as a time period we can move everything without his interference. From there he will likely live in a home, and hopefully get the help he needs. I wish I could feel bad about this. I used to, but the fear I have is stronger.

I'm asking that we raise enough money for our rent, deposit, and pet fees, as well as enough to buy a refrigerator and a u haul truck for our things. The rest of the money will go towards appliances that haven't been beaten to hell, a couch, a bed, and future rent. We can keep ourselves afloat once we escape- we just need funds. I have an interview soon, and my mother has a job, but we both make minimum wage and I suffer from chronic pain. So please, please consider donating even a dollar. I just want this nightmare to end.