I'm Kai, and I'm raising funds for top surgery, a gender affirming surgery.

Puberty hit me early. I say that because I felt struck down by the sheer terror of what was happening to my body at nine years old. Without understanding why I would bind my chest, hoping it would stop my breasts from growing. I didn’t want them, or hips, or curves. I wanted to identify on my own terms. This feeling never left me, and as a teenager and as an adult, I chose for decades to deny the fact I was trans, because I convinced myself it was the easier path, for me, and the people I loved and cared for.

There was a moment I knew I couldn't survive a life of denial. I had built a life with my long-term partner, we'd made a home together, and I had amazing friends and family. It was a time when I'd achieved a lifelong dream of becoming a published author. Still, I was desperately unhappy - and I knew if I didn't start my transition, I always would be.

I'll put the wait time for gender affirming care in my area into perspective.

I've been on the NHS Gender Identity Clinic waiting list since the beginning of 2024. First appointments are currently being offered to patients referred in mid-2020. I then need to be seen by the GIC, and then referred to an internal waiting list for top surgery - realistically, on the NHS, it could be up to a decade before I can access surgery from when I was referred.

I decided to go private for my gender dysphoria diagnosis, and I'm on testosterone - masculinising hormones, also privately. It's not cheap, and it's as far as I can go financially without asking for support.

I've always been fiercely independent, and anyone who knows me well will know that asking anyone for financial help is not something I do, but this is different. This process is about finally feeling comfortable in the body I inhabit. To have a sliver of contentment with how I present most people take for granted, or have never had to consider. I've already taken too long to be honest with myself.

Your contribution will go towards;

Pre and Post-operative care

Surgical procedures

Travel to and from the clinic

Income lost whilst recuperating

Thank you for reading and for considering supporting my journey.

Kai