UPDATE: 12/01/25

Hi! Since my last update, there has been so many developments and now, new challenges. My meeting with rheumatology went well, I went over my medical history with the doctor and had several tests done. The news from that, however, has been a lot to grapple with.

Firstly, the doctor informed me that I have some type of inflammatory arthritis. Though, she’s still determining what disease I have specifically. Second, she told me that it would be extremely risky to go forward with more surgery without treating whatever disease I have first. So I started an immunosuppressant two weeks ago, as well as a temporary course of steroids.

The steroid really exacerbated my already awful mental health. However, it helped with my pain and inflammation for a few days. What’s been the most challenging is how the immunosuppressant has been making me feel. I take it once a week and it’s been bringing on intense fatigue, nausea, and brain fog for a few days afterwards - which isn’t uncommon. It seems that it’s pretty normal and gets better for people after being on it for quite some time. It should slow the progression and manage the symptoms of whatever disease I have.

Of course, my daily life has become more complicated as a result. My wrist is still in excruciating pain and I now can’t take anti-inflammatory medicine due to interactions with the immunosuppressant. Those were crucial to my everyday. And now with surgery needing to be postponed for an undetermined amount of months, I’m going to be even lower functioning. Additionally, I’m now sick 2ish days a week just from taking that medication.

Finally, the little hours I’m getting at my day job are now more in-flux because of my limited function. I’m already scraping by financially due to having this as my only source of income at the moment. With struggling to figure out my monthly expenses I’m also now having to navigate new care and lifestyle changes that are so damn overwhelming and cost money.

I know I’ve said it before, but I can’t overstate my gratitude for all of the financial support I’ve gotten from so many people over the past year. Truthfully, it’s insane that this is still ongoing and seemingly won’t let up for a while. It’s hard to ask for help and I’m growing extremely self-conscious of how much I need. Though, it’s important and always met with sweetness - which is so comforting.

That being said, this time around IRON LUNG and DIGITAL EVIL have been incredibly generous and helped print some limited benefit shirts to help with my ongoing medical costs. The pre-order for them is available for a month and it’ll be the only time we’re doing this design. If you don’t want another punk t shirt, donations and boosting these posts are always so greatly appreciated. ”V”is: @physique and “C.A.” is $DISBONESCRASHER

With love,

August

UPDATE: 10/18/25

Hey, it’s me! Here to express gratitude and give some health updates. Thank you all so much for your support - the love, kindness, and generosity shown to me this year has been so damn incredible. I truly believe relationships are the most powerful thing we have, and this time in my life really affirms that. Thanks to you all I never missed a dose of antibiotics, an appointment, meal or bill. It’s a true privilege and something that I don’t take for granted.

That being said, my healing journey is far from over. I had been waiting to share info as to not overwhelm with the amount of updates, but here it goes: I’m getting my wrist totally fused in early January. Which means I’ll be in way less pain, but will have no mobility whatsoever. The infection of my most recently fused bone caused so much damage and worsened my arthritis. While my infection is gone, I don’t feel much better. I’ve tested NEGATIVE for cancer and pretty much every major autoimmune disease. I waited over 6 weeks for anything to show in my labs and nothing ever came back positive. Which is great, but I’m still without an answer as to what caused my bone to get infected, or what explains my history of complex and irregular joint abnormalities.

I’m seeing a rheumatologist in early November, but that’s likely to be a long process, with no guaranteed results or answers. I am also likely to get a fourth surgery (3rd time’s no charm in this case) where I’d get Scheker prosthetic implant to extend my forearm and palm movement. It looks insane and you should look it up if you’re interested, but not if you’re squeamish. No shade.

With all that, I’m brutally exhausted. I’m still in a ton of pain. The goal, while in sight, is still pretty far away. My disability taking the forefront of my life again this past year(-ish) has brought back so many awful feelings from my childhood. In moments of clarity, I’m able to re-contextualize and heal. However, there are so many that leave me spiraling in anxiety and feelings of hopelessness. Between the stress, high emotions, and pain I’m losing sleep wicked bad. Some days I’m in so much pain and so unrested that my cognitive skills are shockingly dysfunctional. I feel like it can be jarring to witness but I appreciate people’s understanding.

My attitude fluctuates but I’m generally in good spirits. I feel that outlook to be incredibly important in healing, and you all make that so much more possible to hold. Any non-health centered conversations are encouraged, though I don’t mind people asking. It’s very nice to rest those thoughts whenever possible. I’m still expecting to need additional funds for all that is upcoming. Donations are very helpful and always welcome, but I’m also looking into other fundraising options. I’m trying to get a benefit shirt ironed out and am getting the ball rolling on a benefit gig in Olympia that would be take place mid December.

Thanks so much for reading, and all your care. It means the world ❤️

August

UPDATE: 08/11/25

After stabilizing from my wrist surgery in January, I was feeling extremely confident about the outlook of my health. Though I knew I was due for another elbow replacement in the future, I was finally feeling more present and optimistic - just generally in less pain.

Around May, I noticed my pain start to creep back. So much else came up with my health and I was struggling to stay on top of everything. On July 2nd, my Doctor sent a request to my insurance for MRI imaging of my wrist. After jumping through some hoops, I was finally able to get the imaging done on August 1st.

I reviewed the MRI results with my doctor last Wednesday, the 5th. He broke the news that my wrist was infected, and that I’d have to get an emergency surgery the following day.

I had 23 hours to prepare. It was awful. I’ve had plenty of procedures done, but never with such short notice. I didn’t even know how to process the news. Everything was so slow moving and treated like a non-issue until it was all so intensely real.

The surgery went fine, and I got discharged last night, August 10th. One of my bones is infected and I’m still waiting for test results to find out what virus or disease even caused the infection. My right arm is in a splint, and I had to get a PICC line installed in my left arm so that I can receive antibiotic infusions twice a day at home for the next 5 weeks.

It feels like shit. My right arm is still hardly usable and now in a splint. My dominant arm (left) is now very restricted by needing to keep my PICC line safe and in place. I’m not estranged to the feeling of restriction around ability or needing help, but it’s feeling more intense than ever.

My feelings of exhaustion are so intense. I was struggling to talk about it before but I can’t keep it contained. I’ve missed so much work, canceled so many plans, just totally retreated because of how much pain I was in before I even went into surgery last week. Now I’m on the other side now trying to figure out everything on the fly.

The financial stress is devastating. I can’t work my day-job, I can’t do any design-work, any of the things I rely on to get my basic needs met for the next 6 weeks and likely beyond. I was already behind beforehand. I don’t qualify for paid leave from my job and I can’t get paid leave from WA state programs because of my procedure from earlier this year.

Anything is incredibly appreciated. Even if you can’t contribute funds, I know that so many of you reading this care, and that means so much to me. Despite the uncertainty, despite the hardships, I’m grateful.

Peace and love ❤️

August

Hi all - on January 2nd I will be getting surgery on my right wrist and arm. The surgery will be a fusion of several joints in my wrist, as well as a partial excision of a bone in my arm. The goal is to correct some of the deformation in my wrist and alleviate some of the intense arthritic pain that I’ve been experiencing. This all stems from an accident that happened when I was 12 but has become extreme since the end of the summer.

I can speak from experience when I say that surgery recovery is intense, exhausting, and expensive.

While difficult to ask for help, as seasonal worker I’ve already missed 3 weeks of pay this winter - Missing more work because of this surgery will make it even harder for me to stabilize financially. While PFML will cover some of my lost wages, it won’t cover all of the additional costs that surround recovery.

Any help is appreciated - thank you so much.

Venmo: @physique

Cashapp: $DISBONESCRASHER