IMPORTANT UPDATE: my own doctor has agreed to contribute to and share this gofundme with his circle. I can’t think of any greater evidence of the medical importance of me accessing this care than that!

Hi, I’m Audrey. I’m a transgender woman, and I’m turning 40 this year. Obviously, this is kind of an accomplishment when you look at our mortality rates and life expectancy rates, but in another way, this is deeply disappointing for me.

I have been out as the real me for almost 12 years, and in that time, I’ve been out on four dates in public. I’ve been with three people who are comfortable being out in public with me, and it’s hard for me to feel confident anything will change for the better with that odometer about to display a 4…

But I get it. I’m a tall and large person; no one is ever going to confuse me with a cisgender woman. I’m fine with that. I don’t want to pass. I’m proud to be trans.

I would, however, like to stop hating and, as a result, sabotaging my body at the very least.

My dysphoria comes from 3 sources: my hands, my body hair, and my silhouette.

I treat my hand dysphoria by painting my nails in ways that are fun and aesthetically pleasing to me. And this seems to work great for the most part! I no longer have violent fantasies with regard to my own hands.

I am in the process of treating my dysphoria in terms of body hair, and I’m very happy with the results to this point.

The way I treat my body shape dysphoria, however, has not gone well. By wearing bras too tight, I have necessitated the removal of my gallbladder and given myself diverticulitis. It’s really disappointing to me that our provincial public healthcare system thinks this is a more acceptable outcome than the risks associated with the procedure I would like to get to treat this aspect of my dysphoria permanently.

That procedure is body contouring! It involves removing body fat from the “masculine” parts of my body and adding it to the more “feminine” parts of my body. I have found a local clinic that offers the treatment to people like me, and I am closer than ever to curing my dysphoria for good!

I’m just… you know… a few thousand dollars short. I’ll be able to pay for about two-thirds of this surgery by emptying my own life savings into it, but I really need some friends and allies to step up and fill the gap. If I can raise 6000 dollars by my hormoniversary, June 6, I can get access to the treatment and get to enjoy the last summer of my 30s in the right body for my spirit.

Thanks for your time, any assistance you can provide, and for sharing this with others.

for those who missed it in the updates, the $2400 is the initial goal set by gofundme as a portion of the full goal. But this amount, if I can raise this fast enough, will be the down payment that lands me a surgery date.