UPDATE:
To the few of you who have found and contributed, I am eternally grateful. I've since found out that my attorneys have failed to make minor corrections to my settlement paperwork given to them 8 months ago, so it seems my relief is still several months away. I will be filing for bankruptcy protection as soon as the courts open following the holiday. Beyond that, my ex was informed of this fundraiser and is threatening me for listing his actions on the internet. As Thanksgiving dawns, my daughter and I are pledging to make the best of the situation, be thankful for each other, and continue persevering until things get better. I thank you all for your support.
The past four years, in summary:
- My husband ended our 15 year relationship by confessing he was having an affair, was at that woman's house instead of at work like I believed, and would not be coming home again.
- He forced me, without explanation, closure or even a face-to-face conversation, to see a divorce attorney but then angrily rejected the proposal the attorney made.
- He avoided, ghosted, and verbally abused me for over a year, even refusing to see our 9yo daughter for six full months or provide any explanation to her of his whereabouts.
- He refused to parent our daughter during his time off work so I could take care of my ailing mother out of state.
- He guilted me into providing housing for his adult daughter and her abusive baby daddy, then refused to intervene when the situation got toxic even though it put our young daughter at risk, blamed me for the resulting confrontation, then refused to help pay for the multiple damages incurred when the baby daddy had a violent outburst.
- He negotiated down his support amounts based on certain other concessions he would give me in the divorce, like the right to assume ownership of the house so as not to uproot our daughter from school or her childhood home, then refused to perform the requirements laid out by the mortgage company to allow me to do so, in addition to delaying and obstructing my financial settlement portion for a full year after our divorce hearing, causing me to lose the house.
- He withheld support as punishment when he was angry about whatever.
- In March 2023 I broke my back and was alone in the hospital for 12 days. He did not even bring our daughter to see me, despite her extreme fear of losing me after having him disappear for so long. During my recovery, my mother's cognitive decline due to Alzheimer's accelerated rapidly.
- Our daughter was diagnosed with autism, ADHD and major depressive disorder, was hospitalized for a week in a youth crisis center when she made a suicidal declaration, and he refused to come see her. He does not call, text, email, or facetime her and only sees her about 1 weekend per month, if he doesn't make other plans or get mad at me for not being able to drive all the way out to meet him even though the paperwork says he's supposed to pick her up and drop her off at home.
- I also have chronic, treatment resistant depression, ADHD, and autism as well as chronic migraines. Between my medical and psychological needs and that of my daughter, I am unable to keep a standard 9-5 day job or anything that has me work a set, fixed schedule. Instead, I have been driving rideshare for over a year straight as I have not been able to find a new freelance writing gig. I drive at night so I am available during the day for appointments, then sleep whenever I can. This is obviously not ideal.
- The financial settlement I was supposed to receive was crucial because it would allow me to pay off debt so I could afford our home mortgage on the support and supplemental income I was making. Because I lost the house, I had to find an apartment for my daughter and myself. To stay in the same school district, I am now paying 50% more than the mortgage was, but I still haven't received my settlement. The financial services company says they have it, then they don't, then the paperwork isn't right but they can't tell me why, then they can't see it at all. I am finally working with someone directly to get this resolved, but in the meantime, my rent is due, and as of Thursday I will need to pay the next month's as well in order to keep from being evicted.
- When we lost the house our cat Xander contracted an aggressive form of lymphoma and lost 66% of his weight in 3 months. Treatment cost nearly $3k and he had to be put down in October. I still haven't been able to afford his cremation or to receive his remains.
- I have spent thousands in additional attorneys fees in the 18 months my ex-husband has delayed and deferred his obligations, trying to get what is owed to me. What he agreed to.
- I hate this so much, and I hate asking for help. I expect it to be resolved at some point, but right now I'm just trying to keep this roof over our heads. I would really appreciate any help anyone could provide.
- There are no promotions associated with this fundraiser. "No sweepstakes, giveaways, or returns on investment are offered in exchange for any donations made to this GoFundMe."
Organizer
