This unspeakable loss has left Jami in shock, trying to dealing with this incomprehensible trauma. We, her extended family, are rallying around her, attempting to comfort her, even as we try to protect her from the overwhelming attention by the press and curious, compassionate strangers. Jami is a gentle soul and normally a private person, but this has forced her into the spotlight so she can give voice to the legacy of her beloved mom. I invite you to click the links provided below to learn more about Jami’s mom.
Jami and her mom where the only two from her family to immigrate to the US, so in the wake of this tragedy, Jami is separated from her Chinese relatives, by distance and by the pandemic. Jami’s support network here in the US is small, and we are doing our best to make sure she is taken care of, but she has suffered an immeasurable loss. Xiaojie was an extraordinary woman--as Jami said to me, "My mom was petite and fierce! She was a feminist without meaning to be, and even gave me her name, which is rare in Chinese culture." Xiaojie loved her life in the US, and worked really hard to provide for her family—she was financially supporting her sister and mother in China. Jami is heartbroken that she will never get to travel with her mom again, but intends to bring her mother's remains home to Nanning as soon as she can travel safely. She and her family are planning a burial and services for Xiaojie in China.
We recognize that this mass shooting is a hugely evocative tragedy, and that many people around the country feel affected by it. It has come to our attention that many people want to help and support Jami, and she is touched and honored by this expression of care.
In addition, as the days pass, and the awful reality begins to settle in, we realize that Jami has plenty of unforeseen expenses including extensive funeral costs, traveling back to China with her mom's remains, caring for her Chinese relatives as they all figure out the way forward, plus the expenses involved in settling her mother’s affairs, and potential legal fees since her mother’s death is part of a murder investigation.
Any sudden loss of a beloved parent is terrible, but to have it happen in this violent horrific and painfully public way is excruciating. Jami and her adopted father (who is also my stepfather) are longing for space and peace so they can begin to heal. Of course, there is no material or financial support that can mitigate Jami’s pain, but whatever we raise will at least help alleviate some of the extraneous stressors.
Ying Tan "Jami" Webb is the sole beneficiary of this campaign, and every penny received will go to Jami and her efforts to recover from this trauma.
Thank you so much for your concern, and generosity.
In Grief & Gratitude,
PS. Words from Jami, as I was putting this together and asked if she wanted to add anything:
“My mom taught me the power of smiles and laughter. People noticed how happy she was. Please spend more time with your loved ones, like it could be your last day with them.”