Assist Debra in Overcoming Legal and Medical Expense Hurdles

Hello, my name is Debra… and I don’t know where to begin… I’m 65, been going through a divorce process the past 15 years that was just finalized in October. Then, I learned mid-December that my attorney failed to do my dissolution of marriage properly & my DFAS retirement income has halted due to this error. As a 20-20-20 former military spouse, who was receiving DFAS retirement as part of the marital separation agreement for 3 years, my attorney sees no fault of her own and wants $1,000 to “fix” this error - while my income is halted.

Currently, this attorney has not returned my emails that were sent before Christmas, so I sent another email last week requesting information on what this $1,000 that she is requesting would cover exactly - no response to date. So, it appears that I will have to hire another attorney to handle this, have called and they are asking for $3,000 to remedy this error - while my income is halted. I closed my money market that only had $1,700 in it & now - I have to beg for money to hold me until this is resolved. I’m scared, there is no family, no generational wealth, I grew up poor but have always been able to pull myself up. Not this time though. There is no place to turn at this point because the past 15 years of going through this divorce, my former spouse assured that I never got ahead by playing financial control games. I have always ran lean, budgeted like crazy & always kept my living expenses low. Currently, my former spouse is now receiving my DFAS allocation that he should forward to me - but he won’t until an attorney or court forces him to. So, once again - I have to fight for my income that I have been awarded - but technicalities have halted.

For your information, my car - bought used in 2015 - is a 2013 Dodge, it’s been paid off for several years but still requires fuel & maintenance. My rent is $700/month as I rent a room, but I have a litany of medical supplies that I have to buy out of pocket as insurance doesn’t cover any of this. My medical history is… not pretty - I endured rectal cancer 24 years ago & now suffer from LARS as well as gastroparesis - meaning that I can’t go far from home with pooping & puking problems….

Employers don’t keep staff that have to take sick time on a constant basis & I can’t use a regular toilet (without a bidet attachment) for long periods of time as TP will tear up my skin back there because I’m a member of the “peanut butter poo” club…. Meaning it doesn’t wipe off without wiping a whole lot… and that tears my skin apart, so do baby wipes.

So… here I sit - wondering how I can get by the next few months as well as hire an attorney to resolve this issue which requires 2 actions: first - fixing the verbiage on the final divorce decree to accommodate DFAS’s requirements to assure that I receive my benefits, as awarded… second - filing paperwork with the courts to retrieve December’s DFAS income & any future payments, from my former spouse. And while that is going on, I still have to buy panty liners, baby wipes, butt creams & ointments… as well as purchase my expensive groceries to sustain my gluten-free, dairy-free, red meat-free diet so that I don’t have vomiting episodes - and - pay for my prescription medication - out of pocket -because it is not covered by insurance ($110/3-month supply).

This is the most humiliating thing I’ve ever had to do… beg for financial assistance from strangers.

The amount that I have asked for is only enough for the attorney & some medical supplies & groceries. I have no credit card debt at this time & want to keep it that way if possible. I anticipate this being resolved within a few months but there is no way I can anticipate when this will be actually resolved… and that makes me extremely uncomfortable with what the future looks like.

Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated…

Many thanks,

Debra